The Damselfly and the Maybug . . . . . And a Bus

(17...)

We visited the local village market this morning to buy provisions such as veggies, bread, bacon, spicy sausages, butter plus a quick discussion with locals about a bus protest because the local government grant might end for the local bus to the great metropolis of Shrewsbury. Rather ironic because it is probably the busiest bus about for miles and is normally standing room only by about half way there. Still that’s politics for you a bit odd at times.  Then we had a trip to say happy birthday to our daughter and a toasted sandwich at a local grand house with a happy dog that roams about hunting toasted sandwiches

Followed by a visit to a huge greenhouse to buy some plants before heading home and doing woodwork on you know what.  Then a bowl of soup and then I came face to face with a damselfly. It was rather a friendly damselfly and was happy to chat about busses, Maybugs and ponds and the like for a bit before flying off.

After that I did stuff, watched a bit of news on the telly shouted a bit a someone discussing politics on the telly, and then told the cats they were greedy and that ten meals each a day was enough for a huge wild cat, not just your average moggies who chill all day doing almost nothing.

And finally I have been outside as it is very very still and on nights this calm things move about in the darkness. Normally it is just Zombies, but tonight it is a couple of Hedgehogs and a confused Maybug or two. As far as I can tell Maybugs are always confused and that Damselfly certainly thought so. My wife hates Maybugs due to their clumsy flying techniques and general inability to avoid humans. Some folk (such as my wife) are not keen on being hit in the face by Maybugs as they negotiate (or fail to) the night sky.

Then write diary.

Are you wondering what I did yesterday?  . . . .  So am I . . . I can’t remember.

The Bonfire, the Dancing Owls and the Arrival of Christmas?

Today was quite a good day weather wise, being sunny and dry most of the day. Although we did get a bit of a shock when we went out to get milk at Tough Harry’s Store because lurking in the corner appeared to be a group of dark skulking beasts which at first glance appeared to be Zombies. Only as my eyes adjusted to the light in what was a slightly gloomy area of tough Harry’s, it turned out to be even worse that Zombies, because they were chocolate Santa’s . . . . . WHAT it cant be Christmas already how did that happen, maybe they are Zombies in disguise that must be it, its far more logical than Christmas in September who wants Christmas in September that is confusing.

  I had a bonfire today and finally burnt all the odd bits of tree that the men with chainsaws had to remove from the power lines rather a long time ago, it was a good bonfire and I suspect is still alight. I will go and check on it a bit later when the owls stop dancing about in the trees, I really don’t know why owls dance, I can see no evolutionary reason for dancing, particularly by owls.

I also spotted a toad being grumpy today, a butterfly eating a crab-apple and a wasp drinking lemonade. And I have been informed by powers who will remain nameless to protect them from folk going BOOOOOOO HUMBUG that the Bishops Castle michaelmas fair was not so good this year, but then I was not there drumming and that makes a big difference.

Finally our old friend Mr Michael is in hospital and not well, but bearing in mind his quirky and sometimes wild life it is not surprising  . . . . L

.

The May Bug and decimal currency

I had a thought last night, I thought hang on its May what happens in May in the UK, what strange creature can cause the meandering masses to scream and flap about in a frenzied madness unseen since the January sales of 1972 when Harrods put the decimal point in the wrong place due to an error caused by unfamiliar use of a strange new currency based on 10. What fool thought that idea up what was wrong with 12 pence in a shilling and 20 shilling in a pound and one pound and a shilling was a guinea and a pony would buy a top class meal in the Ritz and cover the tip, these days the pony is the meal.

Sorry a distraction I was about to discuss the beast, the creature of the night that can turn a man, although to be fair mainly women to gibbering IDIOTS hiding under a duvet in the bath screaming “get it away from me the evil beast of evil as sent by the evil one to ruin spring”.  I am myself an old friend of these beasts and I have had many a happy night sitting round the campfire with these creatures as they fly about crashing into trees, walls, cows, rocks, seagulls or any other obvious large obstruction that any other beast would avoid with ease.  You see these fearsome creatures of death are the world’s worst aviators and could not fly in a straight line even if they where travelling first class on Concord, super glued into their seats.

I suspect most of you will by now be well aware of what beast we are talking about . . . . . ..  Yes it is the famous May Bug of Britain a creature that evolution predicts should have become extinct 500 million years ago due to total incompetence and a lack of efficiency that equals that of a dauphin (sorry dolphin) on a unicycle wearing a blindfold. 

Talking of which the Ghost Writer has been at his office today and all is not well it appears due to all this fangled decimal currency which apparently still confuses the accountant, so much so that he has found himself in a luxury hotel in a tax haven (the accountant not the Ghost Writer). He has left a letter saying he was hoping for a lottery win but  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN, it did not work out quite as planned.

The Ghost Writer is his usual gibbering self after a day as the world’s greatest IT guru although his office may be getting smaller very soon due to unforeseen circumstances as a result of decimal based money rather than proper money.  His one glimmer of hope is that if no one is about to use the computers they will not need fixing…….

.