Perpetual Motion Machines and Naked Charity Calendars analyzed . . .(PART 2) and introducing Professor Brian Cox

After craftily skimming over all the issues involved in creating the ultimate nude charity calendar of Scientists and Perpetual Motion machines I think it is time to deal with the whole subject in more detail, fundamentally getting to the Bottom (no pun intended) of things.   Interestingly there are two very difficult issues to deal with in creating this particular nude charity calendar that need to be discussed. Firstly the Perpetual Motion Machine is a tricky device to create many have tried and failed, and secondly Scientists generally don’t appear on calendars naked.

Starting with basic principles we all know that a perpetual Motion Machine is a closed loop device and in order to work 100% of the energy in the loop has to stay in the loop. In the old days when man made rather nice Victorian looking machines (The so called Victorian Era) many a chap would construct things that had gears and weights that moved about in a grand fancy looking loop. Simply put they all worked on the same idea. . . .The thing being pushed or pulled was pushed or pulled by the thing pushing or pulling it . . . . (Remember for later)  Simple yes but flawed because of the unseen losses in the loop none of the devices were true closed loop systems. They all were subject to the laws of physics and so gravity results in friction, heat loss, energy lost to the outside environment in small but significant ways, resulting in a less than 100% energy transfer around the loop and failure.

So I can here you type if you are such a smart arse what is the solution to these issues that have left the world of science and even that Professor Brian Cox floundering about scratching their heads and saying . . . . . It’s the engines Captain they’ll nay take it. . . . . Hang on that’s not right.  Well the solution is simple yet extremely difficult and very small. Yes there is only one way to beat the world of the basic laws of Physics and that is to use Quantum Mechanics and make a Sub Atomic Particle Perpetual Motion Machine.  It sounds tricky you would need better eyesight than I have but once you get that small stuff changes and gets weird really weird. Particles can be made to be in two different places at the same time. Remember what I wrote earlier . . . . The thing being pushed or pulled was pushed or pulled by the thing pushing or pulling it . . . . Well with a Sub Atomic Particle Perpetual Motion Machine it changes to . . . . . .  The thing being pushed or pulled is pushed or pulled by two things that were pushed or pulled by it. . . . . . In other words it has a boast of energy in the loop in order to keep it going for eternity or in other words Perpetual Motion or Perpetual Energy. It is why atoms never stop moving and stuff like that.

            

OK tomorrow we can integrate this into the bigger picture for June on the ultimate nude charity calendar of Scientists and Perpetual Motion Machines, and then I will be available for a Nobel Prize round about Christmas. That’s if some Scientist does not nick my idea first, mentioning no names Mr Professor Brian Cox. . . . .  or Mr October as he is know.

The Christmas Jumper, the News, and the World

I was watching the news on the BBC a bit earlier in order to be up to date with what is happening in the world. I am not entirely convinced that we actually get to know exactly what happens in the world because news is only news if the various media companies decide it is news worthy. This would explain why a bunch of Zombies protesting outside the local college today chanting WHAT DO WE WANT . . . . . . . MORE BRAINS . . . . . . . . . . WHEN DO WE WANT THEM  . . . . . . .NOW while the college principle tries to explain that the colleges slogan of  . . . . . We have some of the Best Brains in the Country does not refer to the student canteen; is in fact not a  news worthy story. Those Media companies can see no legs in it . . . This does not mean there are no legs in brains (AH YES there are no legs in brains), it refers to a story that might run for a bit and keep the punters interested. . . . You see the link legs and run.

Anyway what I was heading towards before you lot distracted me yet again with your thoughts on what I am typing was the fact that on the news there was a story saying that the Christmas Jumper; you know the things, Santa or a Reindeer on a sledge eating elf brains while a Zombie Snowman looks on in horror realizing his dinner has been stolen from under his very nose (a carrot carved to look like the Eiffel tower) with a small child setting fire to a Christmas tree in the background and a hardy fisherman repairing his nets that are being destroyed by a large Sea Serpent called Sven on the back in fluorescent  double knit wool in tweed colours.

Hang on where was I . . . . . . AH Yes  it appears the big Christmas present this year is the Christmas Jumper and it is plainly clear why that is. You see here in the decadent West everybody now has everything, leaving almost nothing for folk to get other folk for Christmas . . . . Well almost nothing, you see the one thing no one actually has is a terrible Christmas Jumper like granny would knit back in the old days, a time when there was still loads of stuff to buy folk for Christmas, before everyone had everything.

 For a short while we use to buy folk a goat in Africa or bees in India or adopt a frog in Brazil but the thing is we cant unwrap them on Christmas day, so the idea never really caught on, as I have already said we are the decadent west and we need our bling (or Christmas Jumper as it is known this year).

All I am worried about is what happens next year YICKS.

Oooo I sprayed a thing green today and wraped a Christmas present (not a jumper) and ate some cheese and in a very short time will be heading off to the Indian Restaurant . . . 

Steven Spielberg, the making of Tinker Tailor Rob Z Spy, and monitoring social media

As my very long term followers will be aware I have had many run ins over the past nearly three years with forces that lurk in the shadows; dark forces that can sneak up on you and suck the brains out of even a fully grown antelope or brown bear, yes we are talking Zombies, Ooooooo no sorry we are talking Spies. Yes those men in the dark designer sunglasses who on a rainy day in Britain stand out like a sore thumb as they stumble about unable to see where they are going. Those of you who remember the Einstein Cube or the Jules Verne Pocket Oracle and Prophecy Machine will know of my many run ins with the CIA, MI6 and various other security forces including the KGB in the past. So I have to say that as the eccentric child of cyberspace using the world of social media to write my diary I must confess that the recent news that certain forces are monitoring the world of social media is not new to me. In fact I feel I may owe you all a bit of an apology for bringing them here in the first place.

If you think about it poor old Charles and his mate Quentin the back room boys at GCHQ, which if you Google tells you their address and telephone number, which is silly (hello chaps) who are monitoring all the chit chat of social media have a terrible job, just think how boring it must be to sit and monitor stuff without ever being allowed to make the odd comment on a Facebook page or follow the occasional blog making witty remarks or say even start your own blog chatting about life and stuff, Zombies and maybe take the cunning disguise of say an Eccentric Child and part time Pirate in the strange twilight world of Cyberspace, lets face it spies, particularly the back room boys will work much better if they are happy in their work, and a bit of interaction with the punters is just the ticket.

Anyway as Charles and his mate Quentin would say themselves if you can’t trust a man with an original portrait of President Putin, (a gift from the Kremlin) hanging on his wall then who can you trust. And as I have said elsewhere tonight when the nice Mr Steven Spielberg makes the film Tinker Tailor Rob Z Spy from my rather popular serialized diaries the security forces will deny everything, well everyone except Quentin and Charles who may be allowed to be extras in a dramatic scene where the hero and his trusty Lemmings confront the arch villain, a man called Moriarty who has accidently run onto the wrong set.   

The unpredictable as predicted by time travel and a stick

Today has been a terrible day for the writer of a diary (me), there I was helping dad with some adjustments on his latest steam powered machine. He is working on an unpredictable machine; the idea is that in a world full of what appears to be predictable events, his machine would improve the possibility of the unpredictable. We have to be cautious about what we say according to mum because dads invention sounds a bit like that idea invented by the chap who wrote The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. However there are two fundamental differences between dads steam powered machine and the one in the book, firstly dad’s machine is in his garage and secondly is no longer works (well it is sort of lost) after the accident this morning where dad and I were looking at it and I prodded it a bit with a stick. This would not normally cause any problems except that in what appeared to be an unpredictable outcome to being popped by a stick I was catapulted through time to tonight.

O yes that sounds exciting but one minute I was standing prodding a machine in the morning then the next thing I am at the end of the day and its time for bed, this is a disaster because I can not write about a day in my diary I have totally missed. And to make matters even more worse than that, yes that may not sound good use of English but when they get worse than worse it is terrible so what is worse than terrible is leaping in time past all my meals arriving at a glass of milk to take to bed. . . . . . .DAMN.

Dad is gutted because as I leap forward in time his machine in what dad says is something that must happen in order for the universe to maintain balance leap backwards into the past. Dad did say that he remembered it turning up a couple of weeks ago and did wonder where it came from because he did not remember making it. At the time he thought it must be one of his steam powered machines because it had a stick poked in the side with my name on it. I think that must mean I have just lost my favourite stick to prod things with DAMN (again).

So its time to go to bed . . . . . . .DAMN  

Steam Punk soft toys, and gold hidden in hedges

I have had to leave the Ghost Writer locked in the room with the computer because he is still having teething problems with it (why do things have teething problems anyway unless you have teeth it seems a bit odd), I have promised to feed him once he has sorted the computer out a bit. He appears to be gibbering in an inconsiderable way but then he is an IT guru and I am told all IT people talk gibberish at the best of times so I am ignoring him until he has sorted things and I can drum in cyberspace. It was a really lovely day today although it was very very very cold indeed despite all the sun. This has one great advantage, in that the solar panels are making a bit of power on the roof and I think we have generated more power today than we have on any day in nearly the last two weeks, solar panels like being cold unlike me. We have also just had Mr Kris round chatting and he is planning to make steam punk soft toy sort of things, so that will be very cool (that’s cool, as in hay man, wow look at the seagulls? not cold as in Burrrrrrrr), I have promised to find him a few small gears and interesting mechanical bits for his project.

Please note I am having to draw my own drawing now, times are tough 

I did venture out briefly to saw through a couple more branches on the hedge, the thing is just too high in places so needs a bit of work. I quite like doing this ever since I was told by dad that when the garden was the perimeter of the old motte-and-bailey castle just behind us it was very common for the lord of the castle to hide gold in the top of the big hedges. And better still that if I found any gold I could keep it all, sadly so far I have not found any gold but I am still optimistic that I will as the hedges are very overgrow.

I am sure I must have done other stuff but just at present I cant think of what it was so I am running off again now to check on the Ghost Writer, if I don’t watch him he will get distracted and try and escape.

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a moiré pattern, a huge bowl of meringue, ice cream and maple syrup and the brain.

I appear to have lost my brain and energy today, I am not sure where either has gone and with luck they will return soon. In order to restore my energy I have resorted to a huge bowl of meringue, ice cream and maple syrup (the proper stuff not the fake one that’s horrid). The dog insists that he too needs energy and tried to run off which my bowl but I managed to throw my body over it and stop him, although it did crush my meringue, ice cream and maple syrup a bit and I now look like I have been in a snow storm, and appear to be very popular with several of the local pigeons who it appears like meringue, ice cream and maple syrup almost as much as I do. My worry is that the cats are now stalking the pigeons so if they leap at them I will be clawed to bits rather than pecked to bits. Dad has suggested that he pins me down on the lawn overnight and I will be licked clean by slugs saving on water and soap and avoiding spreading meringue, ice cream and maple syrup all over the house. It can be a right old game getting that out of carpets.

As for my brain I think the best thing is too relate the brain into a movement, say a small electro magnetic device floating above a monorail that moves in very small and irregular movements which you can only monitor from some distance away. The small irregular movements represent thought. So in order to make a brain work we need to enhance this in order to see the movement or understand the thought.

Yes I can see you are already with me lets use a moiré pattern effect using slightly offset fine parallel lines that create a so called fringe effect.  As you will all know the moiré pattern when two sets of parallel lines are used will create lines of light and dark that greatly enhance the movement, thus a small meaningless thought like …… That bit of meringue looks just like Einstein’s head will be turned into a solution to the very perplexing issue of where has all the dark matter gone and is there any more maple syrup in the cupboard.

The one draw back to the moiré pattern effect is it uses the same part of my brain as the part that can not proof read my own writing so although I can detect small movements and solve the matters of the universe I sadly cant type………….. DAM. I think I need more meringue, ice cream and maple syrup.

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The sky, the fly, the goat and a slithering slimy monster

It is getting close to the school holidays, well OK not that close but close enough to see everyone starting to relax a bit, well those who have finished exams or don’t have any this year or cheat. Or cheat and have the advantage of a Jules Verne Pocket Oracle and Prophecy Machine to hand and an Einstein cube. These devices have been gathering dust during most of book two but that is what happens in life, things move and change. A bit like the slithering slimy monster that lived in the cellar under the school, it has managed to transform itself into a school inspector. Creating a whole new life for itself, although the headmaster says it is still a  slithering slimy monster although it has given the school an A+ with merits for having a particularly good cellar for the creation of new life forms during the recent inspection.

the sky this evening

Even the school mascot the goat has been chilling today in the swimming pool although it did have a small crisis with the inflatable lilo, they don’t mix well with goat horns, nether do learners in the deep end with arm bands. The life guard said it was the busiest day he has ever had and the headmaster has sadly banned the goat from the pool during school hours.

It has been a lovely sunny day today which is typical, the day after the family BBQ and another classic example of the great British weather. Still the same thing happened to the Queen on her jubilee so if it is good enough for the queen then we can’t complain……. Well not really true, we can complain. Dad apparently finally got his weather machine going this morning after mum torched it when his experiments kept ending in rain floods and snow and the like. He thinks he has sorted the problem now and has removed the duck from the symbiotic meteorological climate inverting actuator.

Anyway everyone is chilling now and relaxing as it has been busy with one thing and another in recent weeks. I am working on experimental fly traps at present; the little critters keep coming into the house. One of the joys of life in the country, although I suspect they may be just as awkward back in town. I don’t entirely understand why flies like to come into houses because no one is nice to them. They don’t rush off and live in caves as part of their natural behaviour (I think?).  Genetically I would have though they were designed to hang about near the back end of the school goat and the like, not pooing on windows or re-enacting the battle of Britain in the middle of the kitchen while we pick off the stragglers with a rolled up newspaper. Just as a matter of interest which way up does a fly, fly in space in a weightless environment, I bet they still have agro with flies in the skylab kitchen.

The migratory routes of large flocks of aircraft following the spring Easy Jet Stream

I have harvested the next two mushrooms; I thought the idea was that there would be hundreds of them in the box because that is what is shown on the lid. But last time there was one and now we have two. What I need to know now is, is it increasing by one each time or is it doubling each time……. So will it be three of four in the next crop? Or one, which seems more likely. I think we can cope with this as long as they remain as large as plates.

The sky was full of vapour trails this morning and also tonight on my return home from you know where (or do you?) The dog says he has three theories

The first theory is, after Esmeralda’s new world record (with the schools assistance) of sending a goat up in a rocket higher than anyone else has before. Both the USA and the Russians are determined to better this. The loss of pride by these two super powers in the race to get a goat into space knowing that a dodgy school in the borders of England and Wales is within a whisker of the brink of success, has focused there minds today, and they have launched rockets on mass with goats at the controls (never a good move).

The second theory is that of Armageddon and the USA and Russia are just firing rockets at each other with nuclear goat heads (sorry war heads).

In the cases of theory one and two there is world wide concern about IRAN because as we know Iranian goats are lighter and more nimble and able to endure much higher temperatures and Iran rocket technology has seen the suspicious disappearance of several goats.

Finally theory three is. It was a large flock of aircraft returning to the northern hemisphere  after the mild winter using the spring Easy Jet Stream saving energy by using the thermals of the Ryanair. The main problem for the flocks of aircraft being the lack of food on these migratory routes.

We have asked mum about all three theories and she has said IDIOTS. But she has gone out to see a woman with embroiders gills? We think it must be the auntie of the man from the telly, The Man From Atlantis, we haven’t seen him for years but according to the dog, work just dried up HAHAH Haha hah hhahaha h hahaha haha hah hah ha hah hah hah hah hah hahah hahahaha hah hahh aha …….. …… Dad said IDIOT? 

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Mexican Food the prehistoric caveman, IKEA and shopping out of Town

Sometimes fitting everything in can be rather hard and today is one of those days partly because we are going out to eat at a Mexican Restaurant in Mexico. At least getting there is easy I can use the Einstein Cube; It came back, it’s a long story and well we don’t have time to tell it with is very ironic considering it’s the Einstein Cube. Anyway I have been busy.

Charlie and Miss Jane are coming with us to eat they rather fancied Mexican food and so in about two hours we will be there eating YUM (when I say YUM I just mean YUM and not eating a YUM). The Angel of the Norse has had a quick undercoat with some spray paint to seal the cardboard although it still has no hands yet

I have also moved a load of stuff from one room to another room so that when we move it can be moved to another room in another house so that it can be sorted and moved to other rooms where it can then stay for years gathering dust until someone’s says we don’t need that and throws it away.  I wonder if prehistoric caveman did this;

Mrs Caveman ……. Do we really need this round Wheel (for the want of a better word) thing on the wall; Ugg (Mr Caveman)

Mr Caveman ……….Well it might come in useful one day

Mrs Caveman …... Well could you of at least made it flat thin and long then it would have been useful as a Shelf (for the want of a better word)

Mr Caveman ……….I have heard of Shelves a wise caveman told me that man will never master shelves.

Mrs Caveman ….. Surely if we were to maybe sacrifice something to the great god IKEA it would help us with our Shelves.. How about that stupid round Wheel thing you have on the wall

Anyway they did and to this day you can’t get to an IKEA without using wheels. No its true you try and walk.

I seem to have lost the plot tonight yet again Mum has said IDIOT. But men still can not put up shelves

Spiders, Sultans, Dodo's and President Fidel Castro.

Miss Fionaski called in today to see mum, she often does this on Tuesdays where they exchange plain brown envelopes. I think it is a spy thing although they say NO and that I am not to say so in my diary ……..AH. Mum just said IDIOT. But one thing Miss Fionaski did say was that she has spiders the size of sultans in her bathroom at the moment. This made me think …….. Hello that’s a bit odd.

Only yesterday the subject of spiders the size of an Okapi in bathrooms was mentioned in cyberspace and now we have them the size of a sultan. Well that is a bit scary, the dog says I am being a whimp and they are completely arm less and is now rolling about laughing hysterically on the floor. Mum has in informed me the spiders were not as big as sultan’s they were as big as raisins, I knew some sort of dried fruit was involved. Mum has added IDIOT again now.

School was one of those days when school is school, and writing about it would not generate any interest what so ever. Even Esmeralda got bored of catapulting the school cat over the rugby posts with the catapult she found in the woods. I can only assume the Dodo’s have been trying to fly again. So I have told the dog and he is going off to talk to them yet again about building catapults.

Now I suspect some people who do not read my diary everyday might be at a bit lost by now but that is entirely your own fault, just as well I have not mentioned the Lemmings of Petrograd ……….AH, I have. Now look I have been distracted; so stop messing about and pay attention …….MMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

On the way home from school on the bus we saw a man who looked just like President Fidel Alejandro Castro in a local bar in town which is unusual he was waiting for a drink in a long queue. A Bar Queue or even a Queue Bar ……. (HA HAH HAH ha hahaha hahhah ha hah hahhaha hahhaha hahah ha). The dog recons my joke is worse than his but mum has said IDIOTS now.

It is interesting that my world has always been influenced by the brain wave fluctuations between the so called real world and my own world in cyberspace but there is also an increasing influence by the various worlds of cyberspace on my world so things are all very complex at times.

Oooooooooo by the way dad had to have a quick trip to see the solicitor about the house move but he had to use the Einstein Cube because the solicitor is in Austria at the moment in his little house on the mountain. I do hope you all know about the Einstein Cube and how it works as it has been a while since I explained it. 

Return Home

Einstein’s theory, the bus, the dog and the first law of Molecular Ironic Reaction

As we all know Einstein’s “second law,” m = E/ c^2 i.e. m = E/ c2 means that stuff happens in life, like the seagulls attacking Mr Jenkins dinner in the park at the weekend and Auntie Karen’s ukulele band playing the O2 arena in London accidently on the wrong date to an audience of the security man and his dog. They both enjoyed it, and tried crowd surfing but with no success    

Anyway this is taking us away from the point which is ironic because Einstein’s second law, m = E/ c^2 i.e. m = E/ c2 is taking us away from the point, as in the Big Bang. A bit like the School Bus, as the driver often says WHAT’S THE POINT. Someone on the bus will always tell him but he is often distracted as he has to shout at other drivers and wave his fists a lot and make rude gestures at little old grannies in cars, who sort of get in the way by accidently being on the road going to the shops at the same time as the school bus.

The dog decided he would race the school bus to school today as that’s where it goes; which is why it’s called the school bus. The dog told the bus driver he was a rubbish useless driver who drove like a mamby pamby little old lady (The bus driver not the dog). Well that was like a red rag to a bull and we had the fastest ever bus trip to school it was so fast we missed picking up most of the pupils. But as one would expect the dog was already there sat in a comfy chair reading the morning paper, it was a surprise for the driver and he said AAAAAAAAUUUUUuuuuuuggggHHHHh. I think it was the fact the dog had time to get the morning paper from the shop on the way that really upset the driver.

But of course the dog was using my Einstein Cube so the poor old bus driver stood no chance as it took the dog 0.0000 secs. The dog told the bus drive that m = E/ c^2 i.e. m = E/ c2, and therefore a School bus will always be bigger than a egg and move slower than a dog, it is a basic law of Physics. I am not sure that the bus driver understood a single word of what the dog said and in a classic case of Molecular Ironic Reaction. As the bus driver wandered along the path back to the bus, to drive back to the depot scratching his head a little old lady accidently ran over his foot mistaking him for a bollard (that happens when you wear a day glow orange safety jacket.  

Not many people know that the first law of  Molecular Ironic Reaction was Mrs Einstein’s theory in order to prove to Mr Einstein he was not the only smart Ass. And in another ironic twist of fate the Second law of Molecular Ironic Reaction states that everyone will forget about the first law. Well it just goes to show.

Oooooo by the way just in case anyone was wondering as it happens, not much happened today.

The Ghost Writer. The Pylon Protest. And the exhibition of etchings and yes sorry but that tunnel again.

The ghost writer who has to go to the grey office once a week is not very happy because it’s a grey day and raining loads. Rather typical for Mid-Wales. We have sent him off to do stuff to stop him grumbling well not really stop him but we cant hear him anymore that’s good. He said he is going to do things with an old PC running Linux and recons he will be able to take over the world. They all say that.

Last nights meal was very nice they make really good curry in Bangalore. Our friends that we had our meal with had been on the anti pylon march in Cardiff but the problem with the protest march apparently was everyone was very polite and nice and cleared up all the rubbish and placards. In fact they made such a good job of clearing up that the Welsh Assembly Government or as dad calls them (******* ****** ******) have asked the protesters to march again in a months time.

Class 7G continue to build their tunnel towards the Fish and Chip shop despite technical problems with  the satellite navigation system out of Bens dads car which tried to send the tunnel up into the cannel. Luckily a Dutch lad on an international school exchange stuck his arm in the hole to stop the water and repairs were made. The Dutch exchange students are helping because they think the fish will be served up raw in the Fish and Chip shop (YUK), I don’t think they understand batter and deep fried yet.

Mum has been hanging an exhibition of Etchings and Drawing in Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop in the exhibition space for the preview tomorrow night. It is a particularly difficult exhibition to hang as mum says an exhibition needs to be aesthetically and artistically correct and is not just a case of sticking pictures in a row on the wall, That’s why am not allowed to help anymore. Anyway it took a while to finish so I am running a bit late with the diary as I was with Mr Beelzebub discussing life the universe and everything. Mum said I am not to write that again and has told me before at least forty two times now.

The FBI, CIA, MI6 and the Tyrannosaurus Rex from the TV show Britains Got Talent

For various reasons best know to dad; dad thinks the FBI, CIA and maybe MI6 have homed in on my diary so he has told me to be really careful about what I say. For example he said don’t mention the Einstein Cube or the Joules Verne Pocket Oracle and Prophecy Machine or Pirate Pete’s still in the cellar or his new patch of plants he has with the big lamps and all the walls covered in tin foil.

So I am going to be good and not mention them. He would probably prefer me not to mention all the money he made on the big press in his workshop either although he is less worried about his workshop as he modified the life size Tyrannosaurus Rex he made me for Halloween night last year to be a guard dog.  The dog said he is a much better guard dog that a mad microprocessor controlled hydraulic Tyrannosaurus Rex that can’t even read Latin correctly or tap dance. Dad tells me that is not entirely true because it can tap dance quite well. He even entered it for that Britain’s Got Talent show on the television, but the judges all screamed and ran away, so did all the other contestants and the audience. Dad was at least hoping he might get a copy of the video but apparently the camera crew ran away screaming too.  And he said to rub salt into the wound the man at the station said the Tyrannosaurus Rex was not allowed on the train so he had to hire a van to get it home it was quite a large van because the Tyrannosaurus Rex is twenty feet tall.  Anyway I don’t think the FBI are going to go into his workshop even if the dog is a better guard dog.

Very strange weather today sun then loads of rain then loads of sun then loads of rain and so on, I know I mention the weather a lot but we do this in Britain it is a tradition people go to wild mad parties (so I’m told) and all they talk about is the weather. I have never been to a wild mad party just parties with mad wild people at them, talking about the weather.