The Death of Harry the Cat

Last time I wrote something I mentioned that Harry the Cat was very poorly. Well sadly he had to go off to the vets on Monday for a one way trip to see the Big Cat God in the Sky. It was sad but the vets we use have this amazing vet from the US called Geoff and so Harry had a very chilled time and was very relaxed in his last moments alive. The thing that finally made us take this path was that Harry had basically run out of steam, he could hardly walk and although managing to eat small amounts of food and his beloved Squirty Cream he was struggling. And I guess as pet owners most of our lives we kind of knew poor old Harry had reached that point.

But over the fifteen years we owned Harry (I say owned, he was a cat) I can safely say he has been the most aggressive, demanding and cantankerous cat we have ever had. In his heyday he would attack the public passing the house, chase dogs regardless of size or breed, destroy furniture and clothing.  And scare the vets. Much of his life he had issues with eating large meals so ate small amounts between 5 and 8 times a day and hated having to wait. Our other cat Sooty is a lot smaller and agile and so would spend many hours on worktops or in trees or hiding in the garden while Harry patrolled his domain growling sometimes at nothing.

During Harry’s last week Sooty had also stopped eating, but after we buried Harry on Monday evening Sooty has been fine. We still don’t see him much he is an outdoor cat and spends many an hour or two in the field next to us hunting mice. Harry was a great hunter but is was a case of catch kill and eat. Sooty seems far more interested in the chase and once he catches something tends to get bored and wanders off so most of his catches get to escape to tell their mates to avoid the black cat.

Well that’s about it for today. So Farewell Harry you were certainly a cat with character who folk turned their back on at their own risk.

Harry the Cat (also known as Heavy Harry)

Sun, Showers and Grumpy Cats

Today much like the last two or three days has seen many many showers most of which have been quite heavy, but it has been lovely and sunny in between the showers. This is not great as it makes it difficult to get out and do things such as hunt Zombies and the like neither Zombies or myself like to keep getting wet when we attempt to venture outside. 

Still I am better with the weather than Heavy Harry the Cat who loves the sun and hates rain and cold. Heavy Harry gets depressed when it is cold and wet and will attack us the other cat and anything in his way and demands food until the sun comes out. This has resulted in him lying in the sun looking content until the next shower when he suddenly gets in a grump trips us up demands food and threatens to kill us. But the weather has been such that by the time he has eaten his food the sun has come out again and so he rushes off and lies in the sun again until the next shower. It is worse than fighting Zombies; they are far more predictable than cats. . . And I have noticed from more than one source in cyberspace that it appears cats may have mastered the use of laser beans (sorry beams), I can think of nothing more dangerous than a grumpy cat with a laser beam.

Anyway I finally got rid of him by letting him sleep in the car although it means no one can use the car now until he gets up and stomps about a bit in a strop waiting for more food.

I did not do a great deal today myself much like yesterday but I did manage a fit a curvy bit of wood to the wall in our utility rooms utility room, yes we sort of have a utility room for our utility room, its a funny house (Bungalow).

What is always odd is now even when you don’t achieve huge amounts you still run out of time to do it. Time is not friend, I have a feeling that time should not be linked to the movement of stuff and should be based on something else entirely.

I wonder what the speed of thought is. . . . . . Apparently twenty to thirty milliseconds. . . . . . 

Medieval Defence Systems and shouting OOO YUCK DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY IS A ZOMBIE at a Partridge

Today saw the arrival of Chris the Builder who is making the final part of the Zombie defence system. This extra fence will cut off the entire back of the house recreating the old medieval defence system of having a stockade within a stockade, layering the defences. Modern Zombies are rubbish, a result of watching too much television although they seem to have turned out as the underdog among the many monsters as the likes of Vampires are seen as COOL these days. Zombies are not cool no one wants to be a Zombie anymore. Even Harry Potter and his mates would shout OOO Yuck Draco Lucius Malfoy is a Zombie then scurry off and hide in the forest; YES OK he was a Zombie but that is not the point. . . . . . Talking of which I appear to have wandered from mine a bit.

We also have a Bumble Bee nest in the garage at present and I saw a Leech this morning having a bit of a swim and two partridge shouting at Harry the Cat, maybe it was Malfoy impersonating a Partridge shouting at Harry the Cat thinking it was Harry Potter.  

And I did a bit more work on the door and I am sure there was something else I was planning to write about but I have forgotten so it was probably important. ... 

Ooooooo what is an underdog anyway, because if its under the dog it must be smallish as the term never crops up with a huge dog with loads of space under it . . . . . and what’s all this crops up stuff too are we talking about stealing carrots . . . . . the English language is rubbish.

And A Happy Birthday Miss Lily I hope your day has been OK. . . . . . .  

Heavy Harry the Cat and the efficient and concise diary entry

I will keep things short and to the point tonight in an effort to be efficient and concise because I can feel this is what the punters want, not my more rambling style of writing that I prefer. But is OK if this is what you all want then its OK with me I will not sulk and run in a small circle in the kitchen shouting bacon and eggs bacon and eggs oooooo look a sea lion for at least half an hour while wearing a rain coat.

Anyway enough . . . . .  I will get to the main points of the day.

1 Heavy Harry the Cat has been to the vet and had three jabs although the vet said he appeared normal (Heavy Harry the Cat, Normal?). Heavy Harry the Cat was not happy.

2 School also appeared to be normal today although Esmeralda’s new steam powered interchangeable cross bow attachment has been banned by the headmaster. Esmeralda insisted she was aiming for the goat and if it had not ducked then Mr Evans would not have bled all over the new staff room carpets.

3 Getting Nitro-glycerine and Nitrogen phosphate the wrong way round is not good in the school garden. It was a rubbish potting shed anyway.

4 There was a seriously cool looking sky tonight although the dog insists it is in fact the glow from the fire of the potting shed in the school garden, and it was the headmasters own fault parking his car next to it. Picture included of the sky (not on the best selling paperback edition)

5 I deny everything it was someone else.

 I am not sure if you are all aware of my other blog the one called The Sky from the Earth where from time to time I add a few pictures of the sky from our garden. I will add a link so that if you so desire you can have a look. Please note if you are reading the best selling paperback then this link will not work very well. However once you have finished reading it you can set fire to it to re-enact the burning down of the potting shed although you will need some Nitro-glycerine in order to truly recreate the event.

OK that’s it that is the lot I have finished my new efficient diary entry so I can go now and race worms in the local worm racing event to see whose worm will represent the county in the big race 

The Sky from the Earth 

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The phobia of putting up shelves . . . Pluteusiphobia

This is a very difficult diary entry to write, very difficult indeed, but not for any reason that might have come into your head, because lets face it when someone writes something like this is a very difficult thing to write people think of all sorts of stuff. But in this case all that, all sorts of stuff is the wrong stuff. You see Heavy Harry the Cat is a bit poorly still and he has settled down on my head. Which means it is far from easy to write anything, this and my known skills with a QWERTY keyboard plus my spelling skills can only result in the days events turning into gibberish. Which is not like me I am usually so concise and to the point, while on the subject of points I have to inform you that Heavy Harry the Cat still has pointy claws despite his present illness. The dog says if I just stopped moving about the cat would not need to cling on; easy to say when you don’t have a cat on your head.

So today was a day of practical subjects at school, as part of the new academy status they now teach pupils how to put up a shelf. Although both boys and girls are taught the subject it has been proved scientifically that each of the sexes approaches this task in very different ways. 

Men it appears have a bit of a problem with shelves and there is a new theory that men suffer from Pluteusiphobia the fear of putting up shelves taken from the Latin word  Pluteus, meaning shelf like (the dog told me that). I guess it explains why dad never puts up shelves. Women do not suffer from this and are happy to put up shelves but are normally scuppered by men hiding the power tools. This of course is not problem for Esmeralda with her interchangeable clip on power tool attachments and it appears she is a natural at putting up shelves. In fact she totally refitted the school Library and was given three gold stars and 300 house points, she is dead pleased and is now thinking of starting her own business called Shelves-a-go-go with the catchy logo ‘Have drill will travel’. I would offer to help but I think I might be getting Pluteusiphobia.

Anyway I will stop writing now because there is only so much any man can do with a cat sat on his head.

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The Bradley Wiggins Effect, a Strimmer, Heavy Harry the Cat and the Chicken

The summer holiday appears to be rapidly going at the speed of a speeding express train (no not slow I mean quickly) and I appear to be doing DIY and gardening every day, that can’t be right. This diary is meant to be the diary of an eccentric child of cyberspace, a Peter Pan character in a Harry Potter world only less sulky and moody and in an Adrian Mole Diary format. So all this DIY and gardening is fundamentally wrong, however I am working on it, and I talked the dog into eating a large alarm clock. Peter Pan had a large scary ticking beast, unfortunately I had not considered the fact that the dog would chew my alarm clock quite that much so it stopped ticking.  You can let a dog off once with that mistake but after he had chewed the fifth alarm clock I was a bit annoyed and had no alarm clocks left. In the end he swallowed my ipop in one go and spend the day busking outside the out of town supermarket singing the Ace of Spades (again, I know it’s a small world, things repeat themselves).

Meanwhile Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy is off today to the moon on a secret mission which I must not mention……..DAM……… Sorry I did, and Captain Nessman of the High Seas starts heading off for his adventure in China tomorrow.  I think I am allowed to mention that so that’s OK…….. …….. ……….. …….. AH No sorry……..DAM.

Heavy Harry the Cat and the chicken have sort of been playing although Heavy Harry the Cat was not entirely happy that the Chicken tried to nick his drink. Mum was out in her black Lamborghini and muttering about the so called Bradley Wiggins effect, this for those who do not know of the Bradley Wiggins effect is groups of unfit men on expensive bicycles cycling on the road and looking like a heart attack on wheels. I personally think it is best to leave this to Bradley Wiggins himself he is much better at it that the rest of us after all I would not leap out of a tall tree and flap my arms just because a pigeon does (yes yes I know I did try it just the once).

As for me I was gardening again, well after I stripped the strimmer down and rebuilt in which took half the morning to do, it was bought in 1995 and spent the first 10 years of its life outside regardless of the weather so it sometimes decides to sulk a bit. I once met the man who invented and designed Black and Decker’s first electric string trimmer in 1970 (the model #8200) but he never got the credit for the design which was given to an American the following year. Life is fickle (again). But this is all a distraction from the fact I have not done anything interesting today what so ever.

Oooooo I did catapult a dead pigeon over a fence……….

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The China Syndrome, Chemically Activated Nuclear Fusion and IKEA

This morning must have been one of the wettest morning we have had living here, it was very very wet indeed and a little trip to Shrewsbury to get a bit of wood only proved that it was also very very wet in Shrewsbury too. However right now sometime after eight o’clock in the evening the sun has come out and we have blue skies and all is hunky dory again.

The result of this is that I have not been outside much today, but I have made myself useful by tinkering with electrical things. Nothing too clever just an IKEA 12v lighting system. They are rather sneaky those IKEA folk because although good at design they never quite get it right and tend to make their electrical things a bit on the margin. So transformers are always near the max limit etc etc.  

This gives me the opportunity to improve things a bit and tweak, so that some of these things from IKEA will be brighter, faster, longer and make a bigger bang when they explode. We all like a good explosion although not just above the dining table as everyone is eating their evening meal.  Dad says this is why he prefers steam powered things with a bit chemically activated nuclear fusion, Nano technology with analogue streamed data feedback looping technology and lots of gears and oily bits.

Captain Nessman is now slowly preparing for his epic adventure in China. I decided that I would celebrate this event by piling all the china in the house into a tall slender tower; for a short time one of the wonders of the world, until Heavy Harry the Cat noticed what he thought was his food bowl. Silly cat, he should know his food bowl is made of plastic not mums best antique china from the imperial Russian Vaults used by President Vladimir Putin himself for his Coco Pops at Breakfast time. WOW that antique china is loud much louder than an exploding IKEA 12v lighting system, I did explain that it was the cat’s fault and the tower was entirely safe up to that point, but mum still said IDIOT that’s not fair. Heavy Harry the Cat is happy, he has realized his plastic food bowl is in fact still OK and is demanding more food and has set off Sooty the Cat too now…..

I think I will return to doing electrical things again…..

Oooo by the way it may sound a bit odd but we have a ghost postman posting ghost post things through the letter box …….. A bit odd but these things happen…

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The Acme Armageddon Universal Chemistry Set cure for a Head Cold and Gravity

I have come down with this cold now and am hoping it will be gone for Christmas. The dog is using the Acme Armageddon Universal Chemistry Set to mix up something to get rid of it. He says it is really good and I will be my usual logical self in no time. That is a bit of a worry I am not famous for being logical and nor is my diary and nor is the dog at times.

Anyway I have spent part of the day groaning in bed in a re-enactment of that old B-movie “Zombies in Duvets” and I spent part of the day delivering paper sweet cases to people who needed paper sweet cases. While Sooty the Cat was stalking Pheasants and Heavy Harry the Cat was helping the dog with an experiment using the Acme Armageddon Universal Chemistry Set. It was an experiment in giving things (cats) the ability to defeat gravity. In Heavy Harry the Cats case it is very useful in finding places to sleep so that he does not have to set fire to himself under spot lamps. It has been a successful experiment so maybe his cold remedy will work too. Mum said she does not think so and I am best to go and see that very nice Dr Frankenstein instead as it will be safer.  

Fiona Knight                since it is the winter solstice wouldn't it be easier to trek into the woods past the screaming banshee and take part in a coven circle, they would surely be able to use their divination to conjure up a remedy whilst making you dance upon hot coals to draw out the demon germs of the season

I might test the hot coals with Heavy Harry the Cat first Miss Fionaski as he has been practising all day on hot radiators

I did try this but I fell off, Where Heavy Harry the Cat slept for about four hours and didn't. 

The curse of BT, the nice little old lady and a steam powered gizmo

It appears our telephone will be a few more days because despite the fact the nice little old lady who did live here, telling BT of her move (in fact she has done it three times now), BT can not change the number yet. It appears it is because the nice little old lady is in temporary accommodation, she does not have a official home and without an official home BT will not move her number.

BT say she needs a home so her contract can be associated to a new home and until she has a new home her contract remains with this house. Dad said this is a stupid ********* bureaucratic ********* load of ******* rubbish, even mum agrees, and even the nice little old lady agrees. But BT insist that if you have a BT landline contract then there must be a landline at the other end, well they say that be we don’t now because BT will not let us have the telephone line in our house, even though it is our house and the little old lady has said its now our house. So as things stand she is now paying for mum and dad to complain at BT. What really irritated mum and dad this morning was a letter from BT welcoming the new residents of the house to the house and have they considered a contract with BT. The man at BT said they have a different database for those letters and it has nothing to do with the phones so dad said AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhHHHHH at the man from BT. Who said he will pass on his comment to the relevant department and they will be able to do something in due course, possibly in a week.

Harry the Cat and Sooty the Cat ate the last bit of my bacon and had the last of the rather yummy organic cream tonight and are now sat in front of an open fire getting warm. They of course have no interest in BT and so don’t care that the dog is banned from ordering home delivery pizza and chips with curry with extra chilli sauce plus Nan bread, ice cream and triple cheese burgers. The dog says he is starving to death and it is all very well us eating fresh leaks from the garden, but he is a dog and needs fresh BT engineer on the bone.

I think I may have found one of my jackets now, I saw an arm poking out from under a steam powered gizmo thing that dad recons we might need, as it can be connected to the wind film oscillating beam retractor he used to power the lightless light. I have never seen the point of a lightless light, but that is probably because it’s too dark HA HA HAHA hah hah hah hah ahhah hahah hahhah hah hhahah hah hahah ha mum said IDIOT. Not sure if that’s me or dad because of his lightless light, I think mum was hoping the lightless light would ne left behind along with the mighty Hammond Organ but no, the are both here and hissing, along with Heavy Harry the Cat.  

The cat, the boxes and the household effects sometimes called rubbish

Heavy Harry the Cat has spent the last half an hour operating the PC and it has to be said not very well as all it has done is bleep at him. The Dog is not very impressed as the cats can not do Maths, or speak Latin and he has now discovered they can not operate a PC. I think the cats might need the IT teacher’s artificial brain the size of a brain. 

Heavy Harry the Cat and the PC

 As it happens one of the things I did notice yesterday was there was virtually no one in school and it was rather odd to spend all day doing IT but I discovered today it is half term ………. AH. I did ask mum why she let me go to school on half term, but she thought I was being super keen and not being an IDIOT. Anyway because I have been at home today I got to move loads of boxes about, apparently I am allowed to do this all week if I like but me and the dog might try and escape to the Woods to see if the Lemmings and Dodo’s are still OK and have avoided either catapulting themselves to death (the Dodo’s) or leaping off high things to their death (the Lemmings). Although no one dies much in cyberspace and they are always smiling the next day, well maybe not smiling as such.

There have been some really bad storms in the UK over the last twenty four hours with loads of flooding it has not been good but it has not effected where we life in the hills of Wales and the weather has been OK here. It was quite warm and sunny today where we are, so it just goes to show how fickle the weather can be in the UK.

I  did manage to go and see what was for sale in the town hall, every now and again they have an auction of what is called household effects or what mum calls RUBBISH. But as it happens I quite liked some of the stuff in there this time some nice cool looking chairs and a few interesting Victorian bits of furniture, sort of stuff that could look good in a pirate ship. But as we move house in exactly two weeks from today; I think it would be madness to buy stuff. Well when I say I think it would be madness to buy stuff; mum said WHAT THAT’S MADNESS to me, the dog, and dad, so I think she might be right. Mum tells me that she is right and I am an IDIOT.


Ooooooo by the way I forgot, but I finished gluing all the preview invites together today too. I knew there was something else I had done, silly me

Heavy Harry the Cat and friends

Heavy Harry the Cat who has been quiet for ages seems to have organised a protest movement with Fluffy the Cat and they are marching up and down the road outside with banners and shouting what do we want, more food. When do we what it …….meow. Really that’s not right I’m sure; the dog says typical cat and has offered to chase them but mum said let sleeping dogs lie …… Only they are cats and not sleeping ?????

Mothers day and the bugging device

Have just returned from the Mothers Day family get together, it all went very well and there was loads of yummy food and cakes. I did not leap up and down on the trampoline this time while eating so I don’t feel sick so that is WELL COOL. Anyway we are back home now and are chilling in front of the fire.

We didn’t do the traditional party games at the family get together so it was not as bouncy as normal although one or two members of the family did go and bounce on the trampoline so hopefully they are not feeling sick. When we got home Pirate Pete and the Dog were playing I Spy the dog was wearing his FBI designer dark sunglasses and reading a news paper waiting for Heavy Harry the cat to be delivered by Pirate Pete in a plain brown envelope. I think both the dog and Pirate Pete have the wrong idea about I Spy because Pirate Pete has hung a fishing net in the corner of dads workshop and is hanging from it he thinks he was playing I Spider. The dog has said it explained why he was waiting so long for him to turn up with Heavy Harry in a plain brown envelope.  Poor old Heavy Harry had been wrapped up in silk and was hanging in the corner of the fishing net. Anyway Heavy Harry has eaten and fallen asleep by the fire now so it seems he is not affected by the game of I Spy.  The dog said he has bugged Mr Jenkins house but he said he didn’t have any electronic devices to use so he has used Cockcoaches instead.  I think that might be Mrs Jenkins screaming now.