The Nativity Scene, The Religious Relic and IKEA

Sorry it is not a great picture but it is a dark spot 

Now as some of you will know I am not a religious chap and so you will be looking at my pictures and saying WHAT? And quite right too, but as you also know (I think) I did make a nativity scene for Christmas this year. Not for any religious reason it was more a case of making homemade things such as the paper chains and the like, folk don’t make enough homemade things, it’s all batteries and iPhones.  Anyway today I made a box for the nativity scene to go in and I thought MMMMmmmmmmmm what sort of box does a nativity scene go in, so I have made one in the form of a religious relic so that in 10,000 years time it will become a religious relic. OK it is made from the box one of the IKEA draws arrived in, so inside it says IKEA which might ruin its potential as a religious relic. Luckily there is an old saying that goes . . . God moves in a mysterious way. . . . Well I think we can all say that is something of an understatement so who can tell and there are some well dodgy religious relics about in the world already.  

Now a few of you know that I also sometimes turn up in the world of twitter and I am sure I let that nice Kirsty Allsopp  know of my homemade Nativity Scene. But as I have found over the last couple of years if I turn up and tweet at a celeb or the like in cyberspace they seem to vanish faster than a seagull stealing a chip butty from a small child on a beach in South Wales. . . Now that is fast those Welsh seagulls are dangerous beasts.  OK back to the point if there is one. Well those celebs will in ten thousand years time regret not spending more time reading my tweets when my religious relic turns up in the Vatican proving that once God or Rob Z Tobor or both must have visited IKEA. . . . . . . . .     

Harry Houdini, Harry Potter and a question. . . Is JK Rowling an Alien

It is clear that folk do like a bit of escapism, not as in Harry Houdini the escapologist but as in Harry Potter and his ordeal with the forces of evil.  I mean if you think the big two films of the moment appear to be Star Wars and Star Trek and there is much excitement at the short taster of Strange Beasts and where to find them . . . the next almost Harry Potter film. I say almost because I don’t think he is in it, it is not like the Hitchcock films where he sneaks in as a bit part and maybe says Expelium acrowfly at a passing crow turning it into a cheesecake. (WHAT?)

Anyway the point I am getting too in my long winded way (a cunning plan to make my diary look dead interesting) is that magic and sci-fi, aliens and ghosties and other strange beasts have a massive following among the masses in their various formats. And the reason for this is the desire we all have to think there is more to life the universe and stuff than just poking at wasp’s nests with a pointy stick and smiling at cats. In case you are worried there may not be, its OK there is; I know for certain but it’s too long a story to explain why.  But as I say folk need interesting tales and have done for thousands of years, and this sort of led me to a thought, one that those of you of a strong religious belief in any particular faith may disapprove of. I will not be religion specific because different faiths have different beliefs and different holy books.

And here we are getting to the point of all this; could it be that books like the bible are in fact the ancient equivalent of Star Wars or Harry Potter. . . . OK I can see that at least one person is not happy, but it could be there are loads of dodgy holy books that have caused all sorts of issues over time because of mankind’s desire to belief in alien’s magic and strange beasts and the like. And they all do that good fighting evil stuff, I mean who is the most likely chap to see a strange light (or alien Spacecraft) to follow in the sky . . . a shepherd. . .  

And if Aliens beasts and Magic were in the mind of man a few thousand years ago man needs to ask why, could it be that aliens arrived thousands of years earlier and have assimilated themselves into the very fabric of mankind. Is it possible that I am the last real human. . . . . Look I know I’m a human because aliens would not type as badly as I do and come up with preposterously loony ideas that are not only very plausible but probably right. Maybe all the Magic and monsters are red herrings so to speak (If you don’t understand what a red herring is and think it’s a fish then you are an alien for sure), or maybe these are skills from those early aliens which are now lost. 

You see one thing I have discovered is that if you tell it like it is, as I do in my blog then no one will read it. This can only be because there is a conspiracy by alien wizards and space bears to suppress the truth as told my me. . . . .  it would also explain the popularity of Star Wars and Harry Potter. I know it means JK Rowling might be an alien, she does have very high hedges around her garden that could hide a spacecraft and I have never been invited to visit. 

So if you are an alien and would like to explain what your plans are then I suggest that you. . . . . . . . . . Take Me to Your Leader. . . .

And I know the Royal Family are all aliens with their secret hand signs as they pretend to wave at the public. 

The Paris Attacks of 13th Nov 2015 . . . . A Personal View Point.

What kind of logic can justify the killing of so many people in Paris last night.  The So called Islamic State say it is revenge for what is being done in Syria but the logic behind that is foolish and distorted by hate and the few deranged minds that represent the IS leadership.  Just how they can say this is revenge for the war in Syria when they themselves are part of the reason the entire country is falling apart, is in my view madness. ISIS claim to be followers of the Quran but their cruelty hate and vengefulness are not the actions or responses of any true religion. If any religion is to have a long term future then tolerance of those you may not agree with must be one of its cornerstones. Once you say your God is a cruel God who wants you to kill and torture the non believers then that God is one of your own making to suit your own aims. If there is a God then I would like to hope that justice will finally be brought to those who brainwash suicide bombers into such barbaric actions as last night      

It probably is true that the actions of America, Britain and many other Western counties have not helped the situation in the Middle East and it is probably true that the turmoil left after the Iraq war left a window of opportunity for IS to establish itself. But once they started to kill and torture anyone and everyone who they see as non believers then the world was left with little choice but to intervene to try and save the lives of the innocent folk of the area. People need to remember one of the goals of ISIS is to establish a wall of hate between Muslin and Christian, they believe that in the chaos of a war of hate they will rise and take over the world.  I think their leaders have some crackpot idea similar to that of Pol Pot and we all know how well that worked out.

One of the great irony’s of this pointless act of hate is that it will probably force the counties of the West involved in Syria to carry on as they are. . .  I think it is also worth remembering that only a short time ago a Russian plane was blown up with over two hundred innocent Russians on board. And many many hundreds of thousands of ordinary Syrians have died or are now refuges as a result of the complex conflict in Syria and Iraq. I don’t know what the answer is, but I do know one thing ISIS do not represent the word of God in any shape or form.  The greatest thing we can do to stop ISIS is for folk of all nationalities, religions and faith to stand as one and help each other to make a better world. 

Yes I know as if that is going to happen any time soon.

Religion and Charlie Hebdo. . . . Je Suis Charlie

As you know I have been suffering a bit with the curse of Man Flu, it is sneaky Man Flu because each time I think I am on the mend it has a habit of going AAAaaaaauuuugghhHHH. So I am sort of in a state of limbo and am keen not to cough as it is jolly sore, or laugh, but that is easy to not do as its winter and I have Man flu.

So I have been doing small tasks like strip wallpaper although it appears to be stuck on with the worlds hardiest wallpaper paste so it coming off the wall a square inch at a time using scrappers and water. NOT fun.

During the large number of breaks and cups of tea I have been watching the news. I have on more than one occasion said that the 24 hour news channels love some drama to keep them going, and here in Europe we have had the terrible events of the Paris terrorist attacks.  Now over the years I have always pondered the dilemma of terrible news because it can vary from country to country or person to person. But in Europe when a group of journalists and cartoonists are gunned down in their office by two terrorists who firmly believe they are doing the work of God, it is regarded as a terrible thing.  Not only is the death of the group sad and a huge loss to family and friends, in an attempt to scare and threaten others who might write and say similar things.  But it is an entirely futile thing to have done as in the end the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo that these gunmen have tried to destroy will become stronger and the cartoons that the gunmen found so offensive have now been seen by millions more people around the world.

Now I am not a political animal I am a rather quiet middle class chap but I have a blog and write about stuff and draw the occasional picture. And as someone who lives in the West I have a degree of freedom to write and draw what I like, I have even been know to touch on the subjects of politics and religion.  However one of the key principles in the West in respect of Freedom of Speech is that it should not be used in order to attempt to stifle the Freedom of Speech of others. So when extreme groups to the right or left complain they are being oppressed by the government or who ever it is because they are using the system to try and bring about a way of life that does not allow everyone to have their say or own beliefs.

The fundamental Islamists see no right but their own, they do not appear to belief that anyone other than themselves should even live as we are all the children of the devil the great non-believers.  They appear not to use rational argument to argue their cause but a regime of fear and killing and convince young men that by doing this they will have eternal martyrdom in haven.   Well I personally think they are well and truly wrong any religion that does not treat all as equals irrespective of race colour or gender is not a good religion. The universe is seriously huge beyond the minds of most and more complex than we can image so do folk really believe that killing a group of satirical cartoonists in Paris is Gods work and will change the world. This is not religion it is hate.

I have said this a few times now but the outcome of events is unpredictable, so whether it’s a government or an individual you just can’t be sure that what you want to happen and what will happen, will be the same.  It is in the lap of the Gods and I suspect God has little time for man's idea of religion so far, maybe one day there will be a religion that actually helps bring peace to the world. . . . It seems unlikely for now though.

Je Suis Charlie

Politics and Religion and the Islamic State

Every now and again I get all serious and have a little rant about the world and its weaknesses and today is one of these days.  As we know an American photojournalist became the victim of what was called revenge by the people that killed him, who are part of the so called Islamic State.  What this has done is highlight the barbaric nature of what the group say is a religious quest for their own state.  However by saying that the death of the American was revenge says much. Revenge is not high on his list of aspirations for mankind by any god even a strict Sunni Muslin one I suspect.

I am no expert on religion but the most successful ones are those that have tolerance of others fairly high up the list, and I have long said that in my own opinion the world of Micro Gods offers the best option to a better world. The Sunni jihadists of the so called Islamic State are probably the least tolerant bunch of them all.  I suspect in the end the total lack of compassion and tolerance will be their downfall.  It amazes me that they have been able to get  funding,  but the general opinion appears to be that it comes from some of the Sunni ruled gulf states who are playing tactics with the Shia Muslim ruled Countries.  This in turn has just helped to further destabilise most of the Middle East, and as I have said before these events can not be managed they are subject to the principles of Chaos theory.  The West itself has found that out when intervention in these countries has only made the situation more complex and more violent.

It appears as far as I can tell that the Sunni jihadists of the so called Islamic State are very likely the puppets of people with their own political agenda using the religious fanaticism of this group for their own political ends. It is just very sad that the feelings and lives of the ordinary people are lost, and a man who did his bit to help the ordinary folk of this region is killed in revenge or as I suspect more in a case of spitefulness. The only thing I can hope is none of those involved in the financing or fighting of this group will ever meet their Gods.  In fact I'm fairly confident they will not.

So what is the solution, well to tell the truth I have absolutely no idea? . . . . . .But the world would be so much better if everyone showed some respect for their fellow man and tolerated the views and ideas of others.    

Star Wars, Teeth, Heaven, and Mr M

Today is a quiet day, well sort of quiet, we have been in to see Mr M and he is still battling away with gritted teeth, well they have removed his teeth which I suspect he is not entirely happy with.  If you think about it over the last couple of thousand years or so it is quite common for folk to loose their teeth. And I don’t mean as in put them down on the seat in the bus and then the next thing you know is eating a Gingernut in Marks and Sparks and thinking DAMN.  Yes OK that is also surprisingly common too, but I am referring to the real teeth sort of going bad and falling out or even pulled out.

Then the thought occurred to me that assuming we all go off to some sort of heaven somewhere and most religions have a heaven of some sort somewhere, which will turn out to be the same one for everyone, but with a lot of entrances no doubt with escalators bringing folk up from all over the place. A bit like supermarkets who also have escalators getting you up into them but then make you walk down a load of stairs to get out again, although I am not certain that heaven will have stairs because a lot of folk are fairly elderly and frail.  Hang on I got distracted from the point, I was saying about teeth and the point I was going to make is a rather large number of folk arriving in heaven will have no teeth. Since this is a rather spiritual place I suspect there are no dentists so I am now left with the vision of a host (or is it multitude) of angels looking down on folk with no teeth spending eternity eating soft food. Or like the person who left their teeth on the bus by mistake having to dunk their Gingernuts in their mug of tea, I rather like dunking Gingernuts in my tea even if I do still have teeth. 

We hope to go in and visit Mr M later although I better not tell him that angels probably don’t have any teeth so don’t tell them any jokes and make them laugh.  And like yesterday my drawings are getting even more unrelated to events, maybe I am in two different dimensions at present and the me in the other dimension is communicating using pictures in the same ways as tables sometimes knock once for yes and twice for no………

Ooooo how come everyone wants to be in the new Star Wars 7 or what ever, and are forming huge queues, when it is plainly clear that what they need is an eccentric child of cyberspace….

May the Norse be with you  . . . .. . . . .see its easy . . . .AH DAMN. 

Dragonflies, Drums, Micro Gods, Religion and the Watchtower.......

At school today as the headmaster did his morning morale speech in the main hall to cheer everyone up there was a sudden ring of the door bell at the front entrance, this is not normal, folk usually wander in and wander about lost. So everyone looked to see who it was, well everyone except me as I was watching a dragonfly pottering about near the exit. Well the next you know was everyone running and screaming out of the hall and leaping into cupboards or hiding under tables, while most of the staff barricaded themselves into the staff room, leaving just me and the headmaster. As the headmaster peered at the two faces looking rather sheepish standing at the door holding a bible and a Watchtower (the magazine not a real one) he insisted that I could go and talk to them as I was expendable.  It appears as an unpaid part time student teacher I am surplus to requirements and my specialist subjects of Obscure Irrational Theories and Zombie Defence Classes are not core curriculum subjects. He also said that if I specialize in Zombie Defence Classes and had a pointy stick then I should be able to defend myself.

At the door I chatted to the two chaps who were dead keen to tell me loads of stuff about the bible, so I explained to them the major errors of large religions and told them all about the far better idea of Micro Gods. I was planning to show then Dragonflightimus the Micro God of Helicopters, but in the stampede Dragonflightimus the Micro God was slightly crushed to death.  You see this is what happens with religion, small things can get crushed in all the misunderstanding. So poor old Dragonflightimus the Micro God has flown her last fight but will luckily rise from the ashes next year to fly again, we are talking Micro Gods they do stuff like that, which apparently is what the two chaps with their bible and Watchtower say they plan to do also. . . . . .

Anyway tonight my drumming colleague and myself have had a well good drumming session to celebrate the local Micro Gods of Autumn, we then gave him pond plants apples and vegetables in order that he can go and offer them to his Micro Gods in the Castle of the Bishop. That’s my drumming colleague not the local Micro Gods.  

Ooooo I forget to say Mr Darren tinkered with our old range in order to make the central heating work before he rushed off after seeing two strange men on the road with an old bible who were looking into the sky for dragonflies.

Luckily I have this LP and this is one of my favourite songs....

Religion and Micro Gods, A Master Plan.

It can be a right old game writing this diary at times what with the surrealness (which apparently is not a real word, very surreal) of a life half in cyberspace and half in real life. Because it is important to log events in the real world to complement those of cyberspace, if I just made stuff up and wrote nonsense it would turn into complete gibberish that no one could make head nor tail of. . . . . . . AH DAMN. But sadly things in the real world are not always nice, well to tell the truth most items classed as newsworthy are in general events of death or destruction, war or a group of bankers and high fly capitalists running off with all the money.  I told my teachers that I was planning to be a high fly capitalist and run off with all the money and they said there was a long queue and I may need a better plan and also would need to be neat and tidy.

Anyway as a result of yesterdays news in the UK I have decided that Religion needs a bit of a shake up (again), I appreciate that the so called religious\political protesters of yesterday were in fact deluded nutters , but to quote several politicians over the years, we should not look at the crime but the causes of crime….

So I return to the subject of Gods again tonight, and the fact there are just not enough of them; when large groups all start saying we are right you are wrong all that happens are fights, there is even fighting and killing within the same religion at times which is stupid and pointless, but a result of large groups. So I will again say we need lots of Gods, thousands, maybe millions so that there is no wrong God or wrong religion, and yes I have pointed this out recently and no doubt will do again in the future, but the world of the Micro God is the way to world peace.

Each Micro God would have its own Micro Religion (or Micligion) and folk could follow loads of different ones depending on how keen they are. Children would learn of the many Micro Gods from the incredibly popular game of Micro Religion, Top Trumps, folk rubbing their little Micro God for luck at the start of the game.

All this will lead to the unifying political party known to all as the Micro Party which will sweep the world by storm with its snappy slogan of “A big party of small ideas” and I will then lead this party to eventually rule the world and call myself Emperor Rob Z Tobor insisting that a large image of myself is placed on all main streets . . . . .  just before I run off with all the money wearing a nice suit. 

Never discuss Politics and Religion on Sunday

There are things they say that should never be discussed such as politics and religion, but as you know I do sometimes discuss politics although not very often. However I am sure I have not discussed religion in my diary yet, well not until now (OK I might have I can’t remember), you see this morning we were asked to nip across the road to the village hall to say farewell to the Bishop (he is retiring), not something we would normally do as I don’t know the Bishop.

Living in a small village though means we all have to do our bit so we went to have tea and biscuits with the Bishop and several other vicars and the like, to tell the truth I didn’t know who most of them were and as it turned out none of them knew who I was. And we all drank tea and ate biscuits and complained about the weather, it appears even a Bishop can’t change the weather. I did say that dad can change the weather but unfortunately most of the time it goes wrong because of the intervention of cats causing agro in the works of the weather machine.  One of the vicars said that may explain the small print at the bottom of the church insurance policy which had a disclaimer saying certain things may be regarded as an act of cats….

Anyway I was telling the Bishop that one of the drawbacks of modern religion is that there are only a few Gods left and the result is war and violence as each religion condemns other religions as blasphemous, and the solution was to employ the early Roman idea of having loads of Gods for all sorts of things and adopting everyone else’s gods as well. So our little village could have our own Gods to help with various local issues as can all the other villages and towns. The result of this would be an end to religious wars because there would be so many different Gods that the best army anyone could muster for a holy war would be Bert and Jim from the local pub and maybe Jim’s sheep dog.  It seems very logic to me but the Bishop did not seem entirely convinced, so I was unable to get him to approve of Zombus the God of Zombie Defence Ditches and Soakaways  which was a shame and will mean I need to go down a deep hole again soon . . . . . . .DAMN.

God moves in mysterious ways it appears, much like our soakaway.

Oooooooo Miss I and Mr S came to visit today and I can now say Mr S likes Madras Fudge and Miss I does not, this may turn into a man thing like Bangers and Mash with loads of Fried Onions.