The Strange World of IKEA

I have been in IKEA today it is an interesting place and one I have written about before, but it never fails to let me down as a strange world that allows humans to get as close to feeling like an ant as it is possible to get without being an ant.

OOOOOoooo that was odd ……. I have just heard a noise that sounded like a large wheelie bin  running out of control down a long hill which is a bit odd. . . .  But back to the day in the Ants nest (sorry IKEA).

They do like to herd you round the system with its labyrinth of twisty paths and helpful arrows projected onto the floor and conveniently placed small items of delight. Yes the small items of delight are in fact the bread and butter of IkEA profits as folk just love a bargain or two or three . . . O what the hell stick loads of them in the trolley.

The thing is there are folk, OK not many of them that will insist on going against the flow in a sort of rebellious manner shouting I am a Man not a Number. And this made me wonder if in an ants nest there are rebellious ants who go the wrong way and refuse to do their job, possibly hanging about in the bar saying stuff like . . . I will just finish this drink and theN I’m off to collect more leaves . . . Phew I got loads this morning and aM exhausted.  The Barman (Ant) shaking his head and raising his eyes to heaven.  OK IKEA does not have a bar but they do serve those Swedish meat balls so it’s a bit like ant food sort of in an odd way that most folk can relate too.

So did I weaken an buy any of the small items of delight as I wandered the paths twisting and turning towards the hub of IKEAS heart known to the masses as the checkouts . . . . . . . AH yes I got a small pad to draw stuff for the blog which cost a pound, three small cactus and something else. As well as the last couple of bits required to assemble the last unit in the kitchen. So I was lucky really some folk leave with several hundred pounds of stuff they never planned to get and can’t even pronounce the name of it. . . . 

Mankind's Past and Mankind's Future . . . . The SHOCK Truth

The other day someone said to me hey you are a professional blogger don’t you answer all those tricky questions about stuff. . . . To which I said yes and that is the easiest question I have ever had to deal with, but then they said well I was wondering why the social economic structure that mankind lives within is so complex when say a duck messes about, eats grass and maybe heads south for the winter.  I did try and explain that I normally only write about 500 words per post and we have already used a whole load up and have not ever started to deal with his rather complex question.

So in order to deal with this I will answer it in two bits because there are in fact two very different answers to this, one very long answer and one much shorter. Tonight will be the shorter answer. Both are equally valid and have their supporters within the scientific community at large.

So consider the dilemma of being a super intelligent lifeform keen to colonise the universe, but also aware of the issues involved. I have previously explained it is as good as impossible to do this. However there is one way it could be done and recent discoveries in space support this theory, you see the basic building blocks of life have been found in space and we need to ask ourselves why it is there. Well it is likely it was put there by a super intelligent lifeform and represents the key genetic data of their own species at a micro biological structure level, where it (the building blocks of life) drifts through space. Once encountering a planet gravity ensures it covers its surface. And because of the microscopic size it does not burn up as it falls through the atmosphere.  Once on the planet it then interferes with the process of Evolution in the most suitable species and gradually turn the DNA of the host being into the original (alien) lifeform.

Have you noticed how Mankind suddenly headed down an entirely different avenue of evolutionary process to other apes and we now have a lifestyle closer to that of termites and ants. Just look at how folk move about in IKEA and large shopping centres, the Great Apes just sit about or chill in trees and never build large towers like termites.  If you add to this to the question of what sort of super lifeform would put the colony and species before the individual in order to colonize the universe; and the answer is clearly an insect one such as termites or ants.

We are not ants we lack the required number of limbs but viewed from a great height our cities are very similar to that of the termite and insect colonies. And we have ever increasing laws and regulations to control us, pressurizing us to conform to the will of the masses. Something clearly changed us from being apes, and it is very likely we are in the process of becoming pre-programmed alien beings.

You may laugh but just think about this next time you are following the little arrows around IKEA without question picking up large fluffy termites for the kids to play with. . . . . . . . . . .     

Mist Rain Truth and Sadness

Finally the weather changed it warmed up a little, I say a little because it is at least the other side of freezing now, but very misty wet and dark, so all in all the weather is still rubbish. I noticed this morning that people are starting to vanish, even the ghost writer who is here and groaning said at his office most of the people had vanish, the security man at the main entrance to the Ghost Writers office said they had all vanished off on the Christmas holidays.  But that can’t be right as all the schools have to stay open until the end of next week. It is a tradition in Britain that the schools break up months before anyone else and that all us kids are bored silly by the time our parents get time off work. So Myself the dog and the Ghost Writer are working on the assumption that the aliens are going to sneak the end of the world on us so that we don’t notice. It will finally end with an elderly couple living on the outskirts of Swindon saying to one another I haven’t seen Doris for a couple of days, before both of them and their cat suddenly vanish leaving Planet Earth empty ready for re-colonization by the aliens and huge space gulls.

There is an old saying that goes Truth is Stranger than Fiction  . . . . . . . . Well not here its not ………

 Sadly the truth can also be very cruel, sad and unkind. I still fail to understand why humans can do terrible things to other humans, as I have said on many occasions the outcome of our actions are never predictable and it would be good if we all did our best to help each other rather than destroy each other.

While on the subject of truth, the Ghost Writer has told me it was his works Christmas party today, he always likes going to the works Christmas party because they do like to do a secret Santa. But as the presents were handed out and they got down to the last two presents it was suddenly realised that everyone had a secret Santa present except the Ghost Writer. As it happens the Ghost Writer said he did not mind because he knows I always get him something really interesting . . . . . . . . . . . .AH I knew there was someone I am meant to buy a present for, I must try and remember before Christmas day.

OK I need to run off again before writing about all the events of my day but they were not very exciting events and the small explosion only made a small whole in the school roof. And little Roger did manage to accidently jam the Physics teachers 4X4 in the corridor to the hall but they man from the RAC says if they dismantle it a bit they will have it back on the road by the middle of next week.