Suspect Martian war machines and the main reason that intelligent intergalactic alien beings have never communicated with mankind

After a day of discussing geo-thermal parabolic troughs and the influence of neoclassical architecture on post modernist architectural design as well as an experiment into whether caterpillars prefer red cabbage or purple sprouting broccoli. School ended yet again fairly quietly. Esmeralda has been much happier today after discovering that with the aid of her steam powered bionic arms she can throw the javelin almost 500 metres, and by using her interchangeable clip on power grinder she is able to sharpen the point so that it will; to use her own words ‘PIERCE the toughest skin, even that of a grumpy aging goat’.  

Since arriving home the man from ASDA has been and gone and did not knock his mirror off on this occasion and I have been out looking at the bonfire I started up yesterday as it is still happily burning away in its little bin. I have also started pruning the fruit trees a bit and cut the grass and investigated the purple sprouting broccoli or what’s left of it ……. AH.

The dog was telling me that there were suspect Martian war machines in the fields not to far away; he even took pictures to prove it. Both the dog and Mr Jones said that they had been to see the Martians to appease them. The dog took a large partly chewed bone as a gift and Mr Jones a photograph of himself with no clothes on in case they wished to experiment on a human. The dog said he did not see the point in the photograph as Mr Jones was not wearing any clothes anyway and thinks this is why they vanished off rather sharpish. In fact the dog thinks Mr Jones is probably the main reason that intelligent intergalactic alien beings have never communicated with mankind, because if Mr Jones is first on the scene not wearing any clothes and smiling and waving at them holding a large placard saying Hello I’m your friend, it is no wonder they leave as fast as they can. It probably explains the unfortunate incident when he thought the motorway patrol car that had stopped so that the police could have their evening meal (cheese sandwiches) during the night shift was an alien space craft. It was the flashing blue lights that confused Mr Jones and it did not help that the police sergeant had to be taken to hospital when he choked on his sandwich as Mr Jones emerged out of the mist….smiling.  

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