Poetry for the Perfect Crime

I have trimmed the lawn

And cut the hedge

Watered the plants

And buried Reg

Underneath the patio

AH no sorry

No he has run away

To a foreign land

Or so I have been led to understand

And all his dogs have run away

And will not be back

So the neighbours say

And it was a shock to see

His house burn down

The fire brigade stuck

Just out of town

By a fallen tree on the track

Plus several boulders in a sack

And a huge hole

Dug in the dead of night

Something the fire brigade said

Was a bit suspicious and not quite right

Meaning Reg’s house has completely gone

Destroying the scene of the crime

Sorry I mean

Reg must be having a terrible time

Wherever he is

Although none of us know

But he is definitely not

Under my patio

AH

DAMN

Maybe I should not have said that