The Creature from the Black Lagoon is 28% more likely to eat the pears than The Blob, but 42% of Things do not like apples

The Murk and gloom are taking there toll on the masses in Great Britain and it continues to be grey and wet on an almost constant loop day after day. In School with the pupils starting to look rather zombie like the headmaster decided today would be a ‘non uniform day’. He thought we could all dress up and make the place chirpy and fun, full of colour and excitement. He was a bit surprised though when over 93% of the schools pupils turning up as The Creature from the Black Lagoon , 3% turning up as man eating giant slugs, 2% as The Slime Creature of Atlantis,  !% as The Blob,  !% as a Thing and Esmeralda as Lady Ga Ga.

Some Stats for my blog for today show 99% of all readers run away

Of course this is not what the headmaster had planned, and the trip by 53% of the pupils to the fish and chip shop at lunch time in the grey wet gloom and murk  resulted in 28% of the towns population panicking and 5% of them hitting the pupils with umbrella’s. Of that 5% almost 98% of them in fact were little old ladies, and of that 98%, 71% 0f them had a preference for attacking the pupils dressed as The Blob; which when you bear in mind is only 1% of all the pupils in the school and 39% of them went into town for fish and chips meant that 18 pupils got beaten up by little old ladies more than The Creatures from the Black Lagoon.

We managed to get back to school before 57% of the police turned up in 23% of the police cars but by then 88% of the fish and chips were soggy and then just when we thought if could not get any worse the Mathematics teacher asked us a question; he said “Well you now have enough information to work out how many pupils are in the school, I expect 15% of you to get this right before I eat 5 apples and three pears which I will share with six people equally, and one who will get 45% of an apple”

Sadly we never got to find out what the answer to any of this was because Esmeralda catapulted the Maths teacher over the school in the direction of the out of town supermarket with an accuracy of only 8% so he landed on the headmasters car, which was 100% damaged.

    

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