Chris the Builder came to see us today to sort out a problem with the hot water system, Dad said typical that after 15 years a problem happens when someone actually buys the house. It was only a little problem; well it was until I gave Chris the Builder the bucket with the hole in to drain the water into so that we had this really cool looking waterfall in the kitchen. Mum said IDIOT I think she meant me not Chris the Builder.
I blame dad he has a habit of keeping buckets with holes in and says they might come in useful one day, mum said he was an IDIOT too but if we do ever need a bucket with a hole in we have loads of them. I know that because I had to find one with no holes in and it took ages. Mum then said I had to mop up the waterfall so I was very busy for quite a while and it didn’t help having the dog and Rusty the Robot Dog standing under a umbrella saying you missed a bit all the time and pointing.
Anyway it all turned out OK in the end and everything is working just as it is meant too now and Chris the Builder ran off with a pair of Puffins that came from Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop for his wife. The have just returned from an island which had puffins on it and he said they kept walking over him which the warden said was very unusual, but puffins can be very friendly to builders. It has something to do with the fact that they both peer down holes in the ground a lot and shake their heads.
Mum and dad said as a penance I had to weed the big rock face in the garden so I was at the top of a ladder swaying about trying to attack the weeds. Normally climbing about on rock faces and up ladders is easy-peazy but the ladder had to be in the muddy pond to reach the rock face so was not exactly very stable. The dog and Rusty had a five pound bet on which way I would fall but I didn’t so they were a bit disappointed but nether of them lost any money so they were happy until mum told them off for gambling. At which point they both had to hand their five pounds over to dad because he bet them mum would tell them off for gambling, but mum hit dad with the armadillo toaster and confiscated the ten pounds from dad saying Gambling does not pay. Everyone else disagreed with that because mum was ten pounds better off as a result of gambling and she didn’t even have to place a bet, but mum said IDIOTS to everyone then. Dad tried to place a bet on mum saying that but everyone said it was a dead cert so no one would take his bet. Although somehow Captain Flint the Parrot managed to win a weeks supply of Brazil nuts from the one of Jims film crew on the very same bet.
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