The exam question and the slithery creature in the school cellar

Monday morning again, how did that happen. Things at school are starting to gear up towards the end of the academic year, well they slowly are. The headmaster gave our class a mock exam, I sort of got the wrong end of the stick at first (funny saying) and said to my exam paper You silly piece of paper call those questions they are rubbish Captain Flint the Parrot asks harder questions than that. HAR HAR HAR.

That was wrong; a mock exam is an exam that pretends it’s another exam so you can find out if you will pass the real exam, but the real exam has different questions in it so you might not be able to do that one. I am not entirely convinced doing a mock exam is worth it really.

Anyway the first question said “Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism is a complex medical word so can you spell it. Now I’m not silly so I thought if I gave all the options as an answer I would get it right so I said option one No, option two Yes because you have told us how too, option three It is spelt I. T.  Which when written in that form stands for either Information Technology or the slithery slimy creature in the school cellar.”

Or  “哪些，当写在信息技术或滑黏的生物的那形式立场在学校地窖里”

Tommy Neckbender, Benny Neckbender’s youngest son answered the same question with “My dad is Benny Neckbender and he knows where you live so I think I got the answer right or else”. Tommy said he answered all the questions the same and used half a sheet of paper. I said I covered all the options I could think of and used seventy five sheets of paper. And because we live in Wales our exams are bi-lingual so I answered them all in Chinese too because I don’t understand Welsh (I don’t think my Chinese is very good either). Tommy was well impressed and said I was well clever but did say he will still come top of the class or the teacher will limp for ages. Tommy always gets to score all the goals in football too he scored forty seven in the last match, his dad said he was doing very well at school and is planning to send him to university. The headmaster told Tommy that he is looking forward to the day when little Tommy goes off to Oxford University to study in his specialist subject of criminology.

After school while I was waiting for the bus the headmaster came up to me and complimented me on my exam paper and said the examiner will be reading it for weeks, but he asked me about question one and was wondering about the slithery creature in the school cellar. I said it was only a bit poisonous I think but then it lives on school dinners so that is hardly a surprise and anyway  I haven’t seen it for ages not since the caretaker Mr Bird vanished when he went down there to change the fuse for the lights.