An encounter with the Olympic legacy, and the out of town supermarket

After much fluttering of eyelids and smiling a lot the goat thinks it has managed to rekindle its old friendship with Esmeralda, it is an uneasy friendship because I suspect that Esmeralda has a cunning evil plan. However if Esmeralda should by accident slip and fall then the goat will try and eat the remaining edible bits of Esmeralda. Just as a passing observation a goat smiling and fluttering its eyelids is not a pretty sight, I hope I do not have to witness them making up again. As you might expect the first thing that happened was that the goat was catapulted into the out of town supermarket through the usual route of the skylight. This was fine except I was then sent off to get the goat back which was not fair.

In the huge out of town supermarket it is always easy to find the goat he just loves the fresh vegetable section, unfortunately both me and the manager spotted the goat at the same time. So the manager then starts shouting at me and throwing bananas at us, it did not help that the goat was eating them, but I hate bananas, then store security joined in the chase. It was OK for the goat because Wednesday is pensioner 10% discount day so he vanished into a group of little old ladies blending in and saying ooooooo yes look at the price of that, terrible. As for me I don’t look like a little old lady so my only means of escape was to climb the air conditioning ducting and leap out onto the roof through the skylight that the goat had arrived through. I then had to abseil down the outside of the building while a group of little old ladies and a goat shouted look it’s the queen. This happens a lot since the Olympics everyone thinks the queen leaps off building or out of helicopters it is all part of the Olympic legacy. However it is not easy to abseil down a building with a man throwing bananas at you while I was trying to do a royal wave at the same time, while a goat chewed the end of the rope and a group of little of ladies cheer and wave flags.

Luckily when the manager tried to grab me, the little old ladies thought he was an assassin and attacked him with their umbrellas while the goat finished off the last of the bananas giving me enough time to get away.

Other than this the day was fairly quiet and I must admit not much happened yet again although as I write I am having a smallish bonfire and appear to  be being watched by a white rabbit, it could be worse it might have been a goat…….

I note that the world outside of my world appears to be degenerating again; the world outside my world is not always a nice place…. 

.

The Spider and the Chandelier, a battle of wills.

Today started in a battle of wills, there was Will the Spider and Will the Fly, now if you think about this, it all seems a bit one sided, lets face it spiders eat flies and Will the Spider is not small. But flies can fly which gives then an advantage in manoeuvrability and spiders no matter how big they are have an Achilles heel or was it his ankle or big toe, no matter. Yes spiders can not get out of the bath, even a fifteen foot mutant spider as long as the bath is big enough. So this morning Will the Spider was well trapped and I had to save him by throwing him out of the house, he was not entirely pleased but the rule is do your job or out you go and he did not catch Will the Fly, who is still flying about and sniggering now. Not a good move after all look what happened to Brian yesterday (Now look don’t tell me you don’t know ……… really, I don’t write all this just for fun you know?)

Interestingly Esmeralda who we have discovered is in fact the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures or visa versa, (Yes you need to read all this everyday) can not get out of a bath either. This is because all her bionic parts are not water tight so she needs to remove most of herself to have a bath, so for the foreseeable future she is taking  showers, but takes an umbrella with her, she is also excused swimming for now.

As is normal in a normal day in Britain it rained on and off and Autumn is now nibbling  at those dodgy heels of Achilles, even dads weather machine is switched to Autumn.

Not much happened again in school, I think with it being the first full week back at school there is a certain amount of gloom and doom. All those long weeks before Santa turns up and goes HO HO HO, and I have recently discovered that there is no Santa, it is just the Head Boy dressed up as Santa so it will be me this year. Apparently it is important that the new pupils do not find out and it is an unwritten rule that this news is never written down in order not to spoil the myths of Christmas… …… ….. ..DAMN …. ….. ….. HO HO AH     

I have made a temporary chandelier above the dinning table because of technical problems with the previous light, I will say one word on this technical problem ………. IKEA….

And mum and dad have bought new phones for the house in order that we can hit the old ones with a large sledge hammer or feed them to the dog or both…..

OK I’m off again now to look in the bath for spiders.

.

The strange robot like person.. Drums and straw bails

The strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures no longer bleeps they now speak a bit like Stephen Hawkins, although they hate maths. So it was a bit of a shock to most of the pupils to discover that the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures is in fact Esmeralda or as she called herself ESsss…..MERRRRRR….ELDER, just as we were getting used to calling her Bleep.  I did warn Brian not to snigger and so it is his own fault that he had ‘Never snigger at bionic people’ tattooed on his head with her interchangeable clip on power drill hand attachment. She also told him that he had to tell his parents he accidently walked into a door and it is just a scratch or else.

I did have my suspicions all those mythical creatures that looked vaguely like goats being catapulted towards the supermarket with I Hate Goats written in red was a bit of a give away really.  Still this does not tell you much about what I did today does it.  I have been drumming this evening with my drumming colleague but it is not easy to drum when the Ghost Writer is complaining about having to go all the way to Brecon this afternoon just to fix a problem in 3minutes and 22 seconds on a computer and then driving all the way back again.  And wondering why there are so many square straw bails about this year rather that the round ones, because it means that they (the square bails) can be stacked really high on trailers, and then the trailers can be pulled really slowly by tractors on the main road for miles between Brecon and here.

Not really sure what I did other than drum today although I have lost some smallish bits that attach larger bits together that then make loads of noise, but without the small bits the large bits will make no noise. I do not like making no noise I am not that sort of person…….

Oooooooo before I forget …..I MMMMmmmmmmm forgot …….DAMN Ah yes how come we have such weird phones?

.

Paralympics closing ceremony 2012, Coldplay and Steam Punk

Sunday and a much cooler day. A day that feels like autumn is starting, particularly as there is the odd leaf falling off some plants. So we have started to dismantle the covered canopy over the patio at the back of the house, it was planned that we would have a big barbeque and invite all our friends but then we got involved in sorting things out, doing things that needed doing, doing things that might have needed doing, putting all the things away from doing things that did or might have needed doing. And we are now doing things that need to be done before the weather breaks and it is wet; like it was in the summer. So the result of all this is the party (barbeque) never happened, well has not yet, we will have a party at some point, we are just not sure when….. I am told this is normal, as human beings we have commitments that drive our daily day such as my diary or the dog eating bones, the result is what gets left out is the parties and drinking cocoa lying on the beach or tightrope walking over the car park of the out of town supermarket to annoy the manager.

I hope to be back later to give a final verdict on the Paralympics which have gone remarkably well for Great Britain as tonight is the closing ceremony. The opening one was well cool although I believe the closing one might have a lot of Coldplay in it, I quite like Coldplay’s music but they are not always the chirpiest bunch in the world.  I’m not sure what they then do with the stadium and all the other buildings, although I think some are due to be removed, I just hope they don’t waist them.  I say that because a friend designed a building for the millennium exhibition that could be dismantled and rebuilt outside afterwards only it was just trashed and destroyed, which was a terrible waste….

There is much talk of the great Olympic/Paralympics legacy but we will see in a couple of months when it is windy cold and raining.  

Sorry it is a quiet day, it is Sunday and next Sunday there will be no closing ceremony to discuss later it will be me and the dog betting on two flies walking up a window pane.

Ooooo that reminds me, we live in a classic 1970’s bungalow with huge UPVC windows; we have noticed that the flies like to sit on the UPVC pooing and doing what flies do. So me and the dog plan to invent a new substance called Fliesgone that you wipe on your UPVC frame and the flies go AAAAAAAAAAuuuuuugggghhhhhh and run off (fly off).

See you later




LATER

I have returned to give my assessment of the closing ceremony of the Paralympics which has just finished as I write. It was rather good I was well impressed, even Coldplay looked like they were thinking WOW but they were right in the middle of a lot of amazing stuff. And they were fairly chirpy too. What was really special about the whole thing was it had a STEAMPUNK theme, now how cool is that. As you know we have always been keen on steam powered things in my diary, dads only real grumble was there were no armadillos, which when you think the next Paralympics is in South America would have been a clever link, it appears they used a piranha fish instead. But what can you say except well done to someone, the only thing I would have done is loose a couple of songs from the middle and it would have been perfect. There is always a desire to tweak things just a bit longer than needed.

Maybe steam punk will be trendy now, now that would be a cool legacy although not the one planned I guess. I bet anyone living near the closing ceremony got woken up by the fireworks at the end there were a lot of them… 

Towards the end the Chicken did start to loose interest but he loves fairy cakes.

.