The Ghost Writers long meeting about strategic organisational structural planning and those insentient drums

The ghost writer called in tonight after a long meeting about strategic organisational structural planning plus an organisation open day and then the AGM, so he is well spaced out. He is also not a fan of night driving these days. But then he is old and it is a well know fact that the older you get the harder it is to drive at night. He says that God bloke better have a decent master plan for everyone getting old and knackered.

Sorry but  I am very late tonight I have been drumming with one of the drummers from our little group, only there is just the two of us left now. Things have been picking the group off one by one, and so we are having to take care just in case we (the last two as in me and him) get pick off as well. It is life getting in the way again of important things like drumming and playing guitar and writing diaries.

We had a phone call tonight from the nice little old lady who used to live in our house, she has finally moved into a house of her own. I think about two days ago, it is good to know she is not sleeping in the wild hills of Mid-Wales any longer, because it is a nice house here (even if it is one of the ugliest we looked at) and it was a bit of a worry to know that it’s previous occupant was doomed to life in the wild hills. It was a wood in the wild hills too so I suspect it was full of bears and bear poo and The Living Dead, walking in bear poo, although she did not mention bears or The Living Dead just that her kettle is missing and she now has a rather posh car battery charger that she never used to have. So she can’t make a nice cup of tea but she can electrocute the cat H HAH HAH HAHHAHAH HAH hhahah hhah hahhha hhah hahh hahah ha……. Mum muttered something at me then; Mmmmmmmm I suspect it was the usual.      

Frieda and Ted Hughes, Westminster Abbey, poetry Seamus Heaney, Hughie Green and other things

The English teacher was back today, she was telling us about yesterday when she arrived at school and was wiping the blackboard and then the next thing she found herself walking in the wood as The Living Dead. It was concentrating on the avoidance of walking in bear poo that finally brought her out of that state. Well those bears do have a bit of a reputation in the woods.

So she said that she wanted us to write some poetry about events in the news today. Poetry; what is that going to do to the block buster movie it might end up like that Mamma Mia movie, still on the bright side it would allow the opportunity for a lot more zombies. So like yesterday this is my poem (not a fairy Tale)

 I heard my friend Miss Frieda Hughes

On my radio, on the National News

Today at Westminster, there will be a plaque

Held in place with some new Blue-tack

Or maybe they’ll use something, which will hold it firmer

To keep it attached to Terra firma.

And as time does pass, one thing we know

Poets come, and Poets go

And because Ted Hughes was rather famous

Some words will be read by his mate Seamus ……………..

(Heaney)

Not the famous Hughie Greenieeee

THE END

The English teacher said it was OK right up to the point where I mentioned Hughie Green, apparently he is not quiet that famous and the international audience will all go WHO? WHAT? I did try to explain it is good to stretch the minds of the international audience, but mum said IDIOT when I told her....  

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Miss Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the Vampires the Big Bad Werewolf, The Living Dead and the Fairy Tale

We had a supply teacher in English today, the regular Teacher had vanished. Anyway she said she was called Miss Loxley Green because when she was young she was a hoodie. Esmeralda thought she was well cool, she had never had a hoodie as a teacher before. She said we had to write a fairy story about vampires and werewolves. We did all this last year with fairy tales, so I said; but Miss Green stared at me, so I wrote the following.

Once upon a time there were three bears (see its things in threes again) who went for a walk because their porridge was too hot to eat. Anyway while they were out a Miss Goldilocks turned up and thought porridge YUM so ate the baby bears porridge, but thought I am still hungry, so ate both mummy bear’s and daddy bears porridge. She then went upstairs and jumped up and down on baby bears bed which broke, and mummy bears and finally daddy bears, which was well cool like being on a huge trampoline.

Because she was laughing hysterically she did not hear the three bears arrive home who said look its Miss Goldilocks. But at that very moment the big bad werewolf leapt out of the wardrobe and ate Miss Goldilocks.  The bears were very displeased and shouted at the big bad werewolf who said that Miss Goldilocks was in fact a vampire clone and there was loads of cloned vampire Goldilocks’ all over the place and he was there to save the bears from being turning into The Living Dead by eating them (the Miss Goldilocks’). Blaming all the bad press he gets on three pigs (yes there were three of them) who tried to build houses on the greenbelt by getting round the planning laws using straw. Big bad werewolf put in a formal complaint to the council and then the pigs tried to ruin his reputation. Anyway the point is the three bears said the big bad werewolf was big and bad and told him to go.

The following morning mummy bear overheated the porridge again daddy bear moaned, but mummy bear said if he spent less time in the loo reading all the Grimm stories in the papers then the porridge would not need to be microwaved to heat it up again. Baby bear said they should go to the woods because he had heard from his friend that bears do things in the woods, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . so they did.

When they got home they found three cloned Miss Goldilocks laughing hysterically and leaping up and down on their beds. Big bad Werewolf was right they were cloned vampires So they shouted HELP US BIG BAD WEREWOLF, but a voice from outside the window said Ooooo yes you want me to help now after phoning all your friends last night and saying I was big and bad I don’t think I will now. So the vampire Miss Goldilocks bit all the bears who turned into The Living Dead, after which the big bad werewolf ate the Miss Goldilocks’, after all he has a job to do. And the three bears wandered in the woods forever doing what bears do in the woods forever ……… The End

I had just finished reading my story to the class when Miss Loxley Green leapt at me and tried to bite my neck, but Esmeralda was a bit upset as she wanted to be a vampire and stabbed at her with the new poker I had made in metalwork Miss Green laughed hysterically and said only a silver bullet could destroy her. As it happens when Esmeralda stabbed her with the poker Miss Green turned to dust, apparently I used the wrong bar of metal to make the poker and had accidentally used the metalwork teacher’s stash of silver bullion. He had it hidden away to supplement his pension.

One final footnote to the story it would appear the real English teacher is roaming the woods as one of The Living Dead.     

A quite Sunday at home

We were dismantling the last of a rather badly made built-in wardrobe today and emptying more boxes. I forgot to say yesterday that I managed to stab my hand with the IKEA allen key, they are not very sharp so it takes a jolly good stab to do that. The reason I mention it is because mum managed to stab her hand today with a knife.

The result of this is that the dog and dad say they are doing nothing now in case they get stabbed by it, on the grounds that these things happen in threes. I don’t know where all that things happening in threes started from one would assume it must have started in three different places, if the saying is right or the saying would be wrong from day one or as is more likely, day three.

One thing I have discovered is that cello tape makes a better plaster than plasters do, that can’t be right, but it is. The plasters I was using would not stay on my thumb every time I washed my hands or did stuff they would fall off well by the third wash of my hands anyway, So after the third plaster I used cello tape and after just a short time,  say about three hours my injury was OK. It is not much of an injury just a slight hole the size of an allen key (I am not sure how big mums is the cut not an Allen key), as hers is wrapped up in tape of some sort too.

It has generally been a quiet day, partly because it was Sunday, partly because for a lot of the day it was cool and raining and partly because we have run out of steam today. Now bearing in mind all the steam powered items that have been discussed and mentioned in my diary over the last fifteen months or so running out of steam is a bad thing. Almost as bad as that time I had writers block and had to write loads of random rubbish to get over it, PHEW I bet you are glad I got over that …….. (The dog has implied that he thinks my readers still thing I am doing that).  I have warned him if he is critical I will change his name to Rover (no not the car)

It is late now so I will away I have to be up early tomorrow I am off to see Napoleon Beelzebub in his Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop. 

A song about Rover  .......WOOF?