Lemmy, Motorhead, Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy and the Grimble Spin

It has been a day of as dad would put it “a bit of this a bit of that, let the Seagull nibble the fish tail, twist the Grimble Spin in the apple pie and glue the lip on the tea caddy”.  Mum often replies to dad’s quirky sayings  with IDIOT, so does the dog and so does the manager at the Supermarket.

Mum and dad went there today (the Supermarket) and dad said to the manager “you have been Balancing the can on the pot noodle, it will all end in tiers. You’ll find your two for the price of one will spoil the cook and a kettle watched will never sell. Dad said the manager was not paying attention because he thought Lemmy from Motorhead was running off with frozen legs of lamb (again). Silly manager he should know by now that it’s the dog and we all know the old saying “Never the twix turn dog and frozen legs of lamb if nay be bitten on own leg” so the manager apparently is limping a bit now.  Still the dog is enjoying eating the frozen legs of lamb.

Anyway when I got back from school I found a post it note from Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy in the kitchen. It was in code so I am not entirely sure what it meant but she said “there is a Wasp sitting in the room upstairs Watch out” and the note also said on it “Harry is staring at the wall up top”, well we all know what that means.

Anyway that’s your lot for tonight as the Angel of the Norse will not make herself and the dag said “time marches on an empty stomach”.  Although mum says Just get on with it Rob and don’t be an IDIOT. That hardly has the same poetic quirky and slightly confused image does it, not like “the feather on the wind flies further than the stone in the river although the stone may travel further given time”. And you can’t argue with that.   

Pizza with Ham, Bacon, Pineapple, Mozzarella, Strong Cheddar, mushrooms sausage, barbeque sauce and chillies

I am off drumming tonight in fact I am off in just a few minutes so will write as much as I can before I need to go. I have just managed to eat 10 slices of pizza which should keep me from starving for a couple of hours I guess and they did have archives, Ham, Bacon, Pineapple, Mozzarella, Strong Cheddar, mushrooms sausage, barbeque sauce and chillies on.

 And I had chips and Scotch Eggs and hash Brownies, Welsh cakes and fritters just in case I get hungry in the next couple of hours while I’m off drumming. Anyway I will be back a bit later to have a proper meal and maybe some more chips. And inform you of the day.... 




.......................................... A bit Later  


AH ….Guess what I have got the wrong night, I do not know how that has happened but it did  so hay-hoe these things happen. Mum said IDIOT

So another day of learning stuff about stuff like Earth travels through space at 66,700 miles per hour, which is quite fast really and a  Peregrine Falcon can fly at  200mph (320 km/h) and is the fastest bird on the planet, the top speed recorded being 242.3mph (390 km/h).  But if the earth is travelling at 66,700 miles an hour in one direction and a Peregrine Falcon flies at 200 miles an hour in the other direction, the Peregrine Falcon is flying backwards at 66,500 miles an hour which is much more impressive. I asked the teacher about this and he threw the blackboard eraser at me but I ducked and it hit Esmeralda. So I never found out the answer about the Peregrine Falcon flying backwards because the teacher ran away and hid under the headmaster’s desk in his office.  I don’t blame him hitting Esmeralda in the ear with a blackboard eraser is a bad move.

I got well told off too by Esmeralda for ducking and she threw a poker at me (the one I made in Woodwork) which stabbed Frank in the arm when I ducked. Frank had gone to hospital now and although he did get told off for bleeding on the last piece of original parquet flooring from 1757. The teacher is quite pleased as it took Esmeralda’s mind of the fact she had been hit in the ear with the blackboard eraser, I was quiet pleased because I have finally got my poker (the one I made in Woodwork) back. Frank is now quite pleased as he will be off school for several weeks having a rest and eating ice cream.

Even John was pleased because all the talk of ducks made him realise that a duck flying in the opposite direction to earth at 20 miles an hour while the earth is travelling at 66,700 miles an hour means the duck flies backwards at 66,680 miles an hour so is faster at flying backwards than a  Peregrine Falcon. He pointed this out to the teacher who was rather silly and threw the blackboard eraser at John and guess what happened when John ducked.

As it happened that was the end of school and we last saw the teacher running up the High street pursued by Esmeralda, although she did not have my poker this time …. PHEW. 

By the way I had Anchovies on My Pizza not archives …… Mum has said IDIOT

I have been given one of these awards by a fellow blogger (when I say fellow I mean another blogger as she is female) 


Thanks
 the incoherent rambling sofa single parent  ...... (NO that is not quite right)




Anyway to get it I have two things to do one I cant do which is recommend seven other Blogs.


 I dont follow enough blogs. After all I write every night and am several other people on Facebook, hit twitter on occasion and am also a dog on Twitter DONT ASK and mum said IDIOT. 


The other is to tell you three things about Me (O NO..... NO WAY) so three things about the Ghost Writer....... He is not here so can not complain

1 .... He was a Robot Submarine Pilot in the North Sea a long time ago.

2 .... He is as scatty as a scatty thing, an IT cowboy who knows a little about lots but is the worse speller in the world

3 .....He once saved a runaway unmanned truck by leaping into the cab and stopping it as others fled. Thinking AH yes that will make the newspaper front page. "Hero stops runaway truck from destruction". But no no one was interested and a policeman told him off for letting it ruin a grass field by not stopping it in time. As he said at the time (the Ghost Writer not the policeman) ... NOT FAIR.

    

Its Life Jim but not as we know it, the high wire, chainsaws and Goldfish fritters

Sunday on a typical average quiet autumn day can be very quiet and this was the case today. I think everyone is in a slight state of limbo as the house is slowly vanishing into boxes and therefore I no longer know exactly where anything is. What with that and the making things and training the dog to tightrope walk blindfolded while juggling chainsaws. We really are somewhat disjointed at present. 

When I say disjointed I don’t mean the dog has been removing bits of us accidently with the chainsaws when he drops them while practicing his high wire act. No it’s life that is disjointed (not as in its life Jim but not as we know IT but as in Life the Universe and Stuff). Now look I’m off on a tangent now when I need to be back writing a diary and mum has shouted IDIOT at me from the roof. She is repairing the satellite dish for her sub ether short wave radio which she contacts her spy friends on although I am not allowed to say that ………….. AH. Mum has shouted IDIOT at me again and has thrown a roof tile at me. She threw that a bit wide so when I ducked it has hit Mr Jenkins’s greenhouse. You know the Armadillo greenhouse which mum and dad built for him way back in the early pages of book one. PHEW that was a long time ago time flies.

I have managed to move some heavy bits from one place to another so that they can be moved again before we move; then we will be able to move them to the new house so we can move them to their new finally place of rest. Moving house is apparently like this; a lot of thing are moved several times unless of course you pay loads of money to a gang of 400 men who turn up at midnight on the day of moving and move it all in one go to the new house. But if you do that dad tells me it takes twenty five years to find everything again and in general you give up half way through and hide half the boxes and then forget what is in them.

That would be just too stressful for me and dad the thought of loads of boxes with stuff in that we would never be able to unpack and leaving all those things lying about in sheds for years to look at, thinking one day that will be really useful. Mum has shouted IDIOT again and hit Fluffy the cat with a tile now. It’s a bit windy so her aim is rubbish. It has put the dog off his high wire act too he has fallen in the pond with three chainsaws running. The dog is OK, I think but we will be having Goldfish fritters for tea now …………… YUM mum has shouted IDIOT again.

Anyway as I said  at the start just your average quiet Sunday in the Welsh hills really.