technology should be the slave of man not man be the slave of technology. We all blame that James Watt's his name bloke

At school we were talking about technology and its use in the modern day environment. My friends all say they would not be happy without their mobile phones and PS3’s and other things which I don’t know the names of.

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Anyway I told the teacher that dad says technology should be the slave of man not man be the slave of technology one of my friends said WHAT and I said EXACLY JAMES WHAT because he started it all with all that steam stuff but my friend said MY NAMES NOT JAMES the teacher then said JAMES WATT but my friend said MY NAME REALLY IS NOT JAMES SIR: NOT FAIR. So I tried to explain to my friend but the teacher said WHAT and I said JAMES WATT but then he said NO I DIDN’T HEAR YOU.  Anyway I think dad is right because we have only been discussing technology and it has made everything really confusing already and we haven’t even used any of it.

Most of the class said they were not the slaves of technology and that they could function perfectly well without it. But I said I could prove that was not true so I went and saw the caretaker and told him we were performing an experiment so I had to remove the main fuse for the school. When I did it went all dark and quiet. Then by the time I got back to the class room the Headmaster had evacuated the school. He does this every time something happens it is very strange. The Headmaster then said as it was not possible to do any work and the heating have also stopped operating he was sending us all home early. All the teachers cheered but the Headmaster said they had to stay and work so they all said NOT FAIR. I told the teacher that this proved dad was right and gave him the main fuse to put back. Then the Headmaster asked him what he was holding and he said THE MAIN FUSE, I don’t know why the Headmaster got so upset with the teacher but he said they had to stand outside his office and then write out one hundred times I must not remove the main fuse from the school or I will be told off and have to stand outside the Headmasters Office the teacher said I can explain but the Headmaster said he did not want to hear excuses so the teacher said NOT FAIR.

Man Bits Dog and other news of no importance.

It is a funny old world, what with things going on in other parts of the world ticking away under the radar of news; or news that anyone other than a very few might want to know about.  Still we will see what we will see mum and dad say the wheels of life are turning and the will only go at the speed they will go.

Dad and the dog complain about the news in newspapers all the time and grumble that the end of the world and thousands of people dying or wars are side by side with stupid none event stories like celebrities wearing paper bags on their heads and riding unicycles while swearing at television cameras or three headed dogs eating ice cream and meringue and getting dragged off to the dog pound for questioning about multiple identities. The dog tends to read those stories and then grumbles a bit but I think he likes dog stories on the grounds that the only ones that ever make the newspapers are the ones with the headline Man Bites Dog, the dog really does moan about them and says any dog stupid enough to let a man bite him should not be allowed to make money by selling their story to the press.

The silly ghost write has been you know where today, yes the grey office really I tell him every week DON’T DO IT but no off he goes all smiles thinking everything will be just hunky dory and tickety boo and then back he comes like a zombie again. Some people are saying he is now so scrabbled he really does think he is me. We had all this last week and now he is driving about in a silly car that looks like a giant bubble car or as has been described by one person a play mobile, Still it cheered the dog up when he saw it; he fell about on his back laughing and said he better not try and bite it in case it bursts.

The ghost writer says NOT FAIR.      

Mothers day and the bugging device

Have just returned from the Mothers Day family get together, it all went very well and there was loads of yummy food and cakes. I did not leap up and down on the trampoline this time while eating so I don’t feel sick so that is WELL COOL. Anyway we are back home now and are chilling in front of the fire.

We didn’t do the traditional party games at the family get together so it was not as bouncy as normal although one or two members of the family did go and bounce on the trampoline so hopefully they are not feeling sick. When we got home Pirate Pete and the Dog were playing I Spy the dog was wearing his FBI designer dark sunglasses and reading a news paper waiting for Heavy Harry the cat to be delivered by Pirate Pete in a plain brown envelope. I think both the dog and Pirate Pete have the wrong idea about I Spy because Pirate Pete has hung a fishing net in the corner of dads workshop and is hanging from it he thinks he was playing I Spider. The dog has said it explained why he was waiting so long for him to turn up with Heavy Harry in a plain brown envelope.  Poor old Heavy Harry had been wrapped up in silk and was hanging in the corner of the fishing net. Anyway Heavy Harry has eaten and fallen asleep by the fire now so it seems he is not affected by the game of I Spy.  The dog said he has bugged Mr Jenkins house but he said he didn’t have any electronic devices to use so he has used Cockcoaches instead.  I think that might be Mrs Jenkins screaming now.  

Four poster beds, Mr Putin and Rastafarian dominos

One of the draw backs to sleeping in a big four poster bed with drapes and stuff is when they need to be taken off and put back again it takes ages. I know it’s not that normal to sleep in big grand four posters with drapes but mum insists; mum and dad’ as I have said before have one from the Imperial Palace in Moscow.

Not sure where my one came from but if was not Moscow and when ever I ask Mum and Dad why they were given theirs by that Mr Putin bloke they always say DON’T ASK and dad says its best if I don’t put that in my diary anyway AH I did it again I think, SORRY. We have a picture of Mr Putin hanging in our dinning room, apparently it is the only one in town, well almost because Napoleon Beelzebub has one in his Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop but I don’t think that counts because he has loads of stuff no one else has.

We are all off for a family get together tomorrow at some point for Mothers Day. Auntie Karen won’t be there because she says she will be crowd surfing while playing both the saxophone and ukulele at the same time, not many people can do that although dad had a friend who could play the piano and a guitar at the same time. Somewhere in the house we have a cassette tape of him doing that but our house has a lot of stuff in it and even the stuff has stuff in it so it could be anywhere.

As it was such a nice day me and the dog went for a walk in the woods once we got near the clearing in the middle we found all the Banshee’s practicing playing domino’s, I think mum keeps beating them and they are trying to get better at it. They play it the same way as the Rastafarians do where they crash the dominoes onto the table it is well cool to watch but a bit noisy. Me and dad don’t play domino’s any more because at Christmas Granny would always cheat so no one else could win not even Mum or Great Great Great Granddad so we stopped playing but mum likes Rastafarian dominos as it reminds her of snow ball fights?      

I have remembered to use paragraphs tonight; my proof reader says I need to use more paragraphs, but I get paragraphs and parachutes mixed up all the time. The English teacher has told me to stop taking paragraphs to school because her cupboard is now full of them and she hates heights anyway. I still have not got the hang of English yet.