The Short way to growing grapes and monsters of the deep

  The Ghost Writer was here this afternoon wearing some shorts, not particularly short shorts but sort of knee length things. This may not seem like news but the Ghost Writer never wears shorts in public, because he says people laugh at him, anyway once me and the dog had stopped laughing we said that he might be imagining the whole thing. Let’s face it; it is not the Ghost Writers fault he got his legs all chewed up by a monster years ago when he was younger and use to go looking for monsters in the depths of the sea with a camera. Although he had not really thought about what he would do if he found a monster, as hitting it on the head with your camera is rubbish. Particularly if it has three heads and if fifty feet long with big teeth and a scaly body with pointy bits that point.

He only wore then because he thought no one would see him here except us and he knew that we would not laugh at him (much), it is all to do with the heat. He was hoping to convince dad that he should tweak the weather machine a bit so it was a bit cooler but dad was rolling about in hysterics pointing at his (The Ghost Writers) legs.

One slightly good thing, is if the weather remains as it does, which unless we can find a synchromeshed grattle ion mixing filament array is very likely, our crop of grapes will ripen soon and we can then eat them as I am assured by the dog that one grape represents your five a day fruit and veg quota. Particularly if you cut the grape into five bits, one tip on doing this do not use a blunt knife or a hammer to cut your grape up or try to draw dotted lines on it with a permanent marker pen. And never try and prove to the dog that you can get 73 grapes in your mouth at the same time.

Did you notice I cleverly avoided mentioning the Olympics tonight….. ……. …… ……. …… …… DAMN

Just before I go I have just read a email from Auntie Karen and I do not have the hands of an aging hippy Auntie Karen, and I have always called the wireless the wireless rather than a radio, although I will admit that at school I get funny looks when I say I have been playing Miss Janis Joplin LP’s on the radiogram and they are way out man.

Finally I must thank Mr Charlie for the two free packets of SUGRU I will use it wisely…….

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Finally I must make all of the members of the Radical Abstract Thinkers or RATs aware that they should all award themselves The Official International Bloggers Diploma of Blogging....... Along with anyone else that would like one. If you would like to award this distinctive and slightly out of focus International Diploma to your friends or the cat please do. I leave this to your discretion but use it wisely. These things don't grow on trees you know.