The Ghost of HARRY HOUDINI wearing a HOMBURG HAT

Heavy Harry the Cat

Happily my diary has not been high jacked to much by the  haphazard, Hullabaloo though the Alphabet while trying to hang on to the diaries  humble humanity and simple quiet if a little boring story of life in the hills. Today is the Easter Bank Holiday and in classic Bank holiday tradition we have Hail, hurricanes, The hounds of Hell, Handbags and Hungry Hispanic Speakers playing hurdy Gurdy’s Hammering on the windows. OK I have slight exaggerated, it is just heavy rain, OK rain. So in another traditional  Bank holiday tradition Dad is causing havoc with a tool kit and his Hammer drill making holes in the house, It is the start British DIY season, so it will soon be summer once all the husbands have returned from Hospital  (DIY is a HOT bed of Hazards). It appears men don’t do DIY at home until after they get married???

I HAVE to tell you the dog got me up Hellish early this morning (half past something) to say that HE HAD the Ghost of Harry Houdini wearing a Homburg Hat trapped in the Hallway tied up with a hemp rope and in a hessian sack, suspended on a hook from the hickory and Hawthorne hat stand.  When I did get up and go to HAVE a look the dog was in hopeless hysterics and howling, saying "The Ghost of Harry Houdini had escaped, I thought he would. HA HA HA"........ Yes very funny

As he helped out once before with H (9^th March) mum has agreed to offer some hospitality to the Headless horseman and HIS pet Hyena who is a bit of a hoodlum hunter and always on the hustle, but that’s hyena’s for you. A hopeless cause.  Mum has insisted that I don’t offer the Headless Horseman the opportunity to play my Harmonica; Whys that then…………………….. AH Mum has said Halfwit. Yes she is right that’s a bit of a no Brainer HA HA AH AHHAH hah hah ah ah hh a

Maybe I should not mention that HIS Horoscope says HE will be headstrong today and should consider HAVING HIS eyes tested……… It reminds of the old saying “ Ear today gone tomorrow”……… HAH HAHHA hah ahah hhaha hah aha ha hah hah

Dad says his Mate Professor Harper has been doing DIY at the Large Hadron Collider but HE is not a hardcore handyman and HAS phoned dad to say HE is the harbinger of some horrible news. He HAS created a black Hole……. AH sorry I miss HEARD dad HE said HE HAS created Blackpool.

 

Time to go, there is someone at the door with no head and a pet hyena ………. I wonder who that is then ……HAH HAHAHH HAHAHH HAH HAH hah h hahha hah haha hahah hah haah hhahah ha hahahh haha ha

Oooooo by the way I should mention Auntie Karen and her Band HOOT and her husband Ian The Musical Hat Maker more formally known as Mr Ian Gomm.

Finally I must also mention the last of the members of R.A.Ts. Mr H or Bumferry Hogart. If anyone is wondering what R.A.Ts. stands for it is Radical Abstract Thinkers. There are few rules but you can only become a member of R.A.Ts. with the approval of one person

So the entire membership of R.A.Ts is:-

Miss Lily

Mr ESB²

Mr H

And myself

OK that’s H all done so, “HOME  James and don’t spare the HORSES”

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