Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy, the fridge and the bugging of the Kremlin

I saw Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy today we were discussing important things Miss Fionaski said that from fingertip to fingertip she was the same length as she was high (if you can understand that). So we had to measure her to prove this. As it turned out she was right, she also said the twice round her neck was the same as her waist and that part of her arm was her foot. And that she reads huge scientific periodicals about science.

She was saying that the Russians have developed a new super fridge that can spy on people and makes them so depended on the fridge that in years come we will all be forced into eating borsch, pelmeni, pirozhki, Shchi, Ukha, Kholodets, Vatrushka and all washed down with a glass of Medovukha or kvass. And will start to sing Russian songs taught to us by the fridges while waving red flags and training pet foxes to sit on our heads. The Russian fridges are particularly superior because they are filled with ice cold Siberian winds allowing the food to be kept for long periods.

Of course the Russians would say that the fridges are merely a counter espionage defence operation in response the famous (now maybe infamous) Western Spy, Big Mac, who infiltrated the very core of Moscow and the Kremlin with the Bug in a Burger in a Bun. This of course was the down fall of President Putin himself who having eaten the bug washed down with a Diet Coke was forced into temporary retirement while the bug in a burger in a bun was digested and passed through his system. The Big Mac as it was called specially designed to take ages to digest so that the bugging device would stay in the body for years.

Ooooooo while on the subject of spies I noted that this morning on the news it was announced that MI5 and M!6 will not be prosecuted for torture because of a lack of evidence. I only mention this fact because only last night we had a lovely bonfire full of spy papers …………… And people think I make things up.

I also believe that MI6 are introducing new fridges into there posh headquarters by the Thames in the heart of the great Metropolis in order to reduce canteen staff members, apparently there is also a whole new Eastern European menu and new little red flags in the jelly to brighten the place up…………..Mum just said IDIOT….