The voice of Stephen Fry, Virginia Woolf and my very good friend Ian the Musical Hat Maker

I have discovered a brilliant use for Stephen Fry, and one which I dare say the iconic hero of our time would much appreciate. I have discovered that if you read your words as if you were Stephen Fry, then it is a much better indicator of what you are trying to portray to the reader. I think it gives everything a whole new perspective. The dog says its still RUBBISH but he is reading it in the voice of Virginia Woolf …. HAHAH HAHH HAHAH . Mum has just said IDIOT.

Now you are probably thinking to yourselves, this is all very well but what about the diary, what exactly have I been doing today, well erm sort of nothing. Thing is it is raining and it’s not nice wild buccaneering, head to the wind; while the seagulls hug the waves rain. No it is just wet drizzly dull grey rain that just makes you wet and is no fun and we all hate that sort of rain. So there you go I have wasted my day. but it is half term it is traditional for school children to be incredibly inefficient and waste holidays and then realize on the Sunday evening, the night before returning to school that they have loads of homework to do …….. AH. Maybe I should not have written that mum has just shouted DO YOUR HOMEWORK.  I will do that just as soon as I have got this bit of fluff out of this small tube that I found under the floor which is off  a ???? Well it might be useful (the tube not the fluff).

By the way just to let the world know my very good friend Ian the Musical Hat Maker is off today to the hospital too have his second bionic knee (OP tomorrow). This is good news and means he will be able to do his famous triple somersault while playing the guitar solo in Stairway to Haven; although because his legs are not steam powered like Pirate Pete’s he says he will be unable to run at fifty miles an hour and estimates a top speed of only about thirty miles an hour.

Hopefully Auntie Karen has had a good drive to and from the hospital. Because we live in Wales you are sent half way to Scotland to have your OP because the powers that be, say that’s where you have to go, and you’re not allowed to complain or else.  

Now some of you are thinking hang on he’s done (written) some of this stuff before and I have but there are two things to consider. The first is Mr Ian has two legs and it really is not fair to leave him running round in circles and the second is YAH SUCKS BOOO I don’t care ……. Mum said IDIOT again.