the origin of Touch Wood. The Indian Call Centre and an Orange

Sorry yesterday was not very exciting but as I have said many times this is life and unlike that silly Harry Potter bloke who is all made up and even got right moody and grumpy in the end. I must watch the last movie sometime. But I suspect from the total lack of hype it was not that good. I think in the end the series was two films too long. Its commercial greed you know it ruins stuff.

The Ghost writer called in tonight to see how everything is going, and we said with luck all is as it should be “Touch Wood”; where does all this touching wood come from. The dog says it goes back to the days of making long bows and the bow makers would feel the grain in the wood and would know it was a good bow. According to the dog he is the only one in the world left who knows so it is just as well I asked the question when he was about.

The Ghost Writer was also saying that he had a phone call from a man in an Indian Call Centre today (no not Red Indians) and it went something like this

Hello is that Mr Geddes

Yes

Hello I am conducting a survey and have a few questions

Ok

You are Mr Barrie Geddes

No my name is John

Are you sure I thought you were Mr Barrie Geddes

No my name is John. Barrie is my identical twin brother but he is a pathological liar so you can’t believe him

……………. A long Silence ………………….

So you are Mr John Geddes

Yes

So I can ask you some questions for a survey

Yes; although how can you be sure I an not Barrie Geddes the pathological liar

I am sure you would not lie to me sir

No I wouldn’t unless I am Barrie Geddes then I might

But you said you were John Geddes

I did but I might be lying

………………….. A long Silence ……………….

Thank you sir I will try again later

Ok although Barrie might be back then

Anyway he had only just hung up when a woman phoned and said

Cor Blimey mate it’s Sarah from Orange here me old sweetheart housE yer doing guv.

I take it Sarah you are not phoning from an Indian Call Centre

Crikey  mate not me mate HA HA HA Naaaa I’m from Orange

I’m sorry Sarah I must go I have a Lemon to deal with

What?????

Doesn’t Orange do the speaking clock?

Naaaaa I don’t think so

I thought they did all the talk of “At the Third PIP” ….. HA hah hah hah hah hahahahh hahahah hhahahahahah …………………. Oh she’s gone