Not really Groundhog Day and Ice Cream . . .

(30 . . .)

It's strange how a chaps day can sort of take on the feeling of Groundhog Day. Although it was with different wood 6 years ago and I did actually have the tools and also did some shopping. But apart from that, and eating different food; and several other things, OOOoooooo and I achieved something today which was good. BUT apart from all that my diary entry of six years ago has an uncanny resemblance to today  . . . Although I am seriously older now; back then I was the Young Eccentric Child of Cyberspace, but I probably just grumbled too much and the secret of my old age became known to all.

And I have also discovered today that ice-cream is regarded as a highly processed food and will reduce life expectancy. Unfortunately I have just finished a large bowl of ice cream having put walnuts, chocolate things and maple syrup on the ice cream. On the positive side the nuts are good for me; the maple syrup is the real stuff as is the chocolate. The ice cream was also good quality vanilla ice cream. I do have a theory that as long as you eat real foods not cheap rubbish then you can eat what you like and it is OK. It’s a good theory and serves me well. Plainly you should not get too carried away with eating too much that would not be good.

Right that diary entry from way back for you to read.

Six years ago today

I have not achieved a great deal today, it has been that sort of day I looked at a little job involving some tongue and groove panelling but did not have the things I needed, so sort of waved the various bits about shook my head a lot pointed and said OOOOOO SORRY MADAM IT NEEDS A NEW THERMITECHNIC SCREW ADJUSTER like all good plumbers and then said I WOULD BE BACK TWO WEEKS NEXT THURSDAY. However mum said I was not a plumber I was an IDIOT and sent me out to do things elsewhere, but I knew where here was and I knew where there was but I could not find elsewhere. Despite asking everyone I ran into (I say ran into I was walking and did not make any physical contact) such as the Banshees and the Lemmings of Petrograd, who were playing leap frog ( Lemmings, leap frog . . . . .HAH HAHAHHAHAHH HAH ha hah ah hah ah ahahhah ha ha ha) a few Zombies, a few Cows, a Raven, The Dark Creature of the Undergrowth, Mr Jones, Esmeralda and Freddie. Who have formed a new group called ‘Watching Alien Invasion Tactics’ or WAIT for short. Apparently Mr Jones often chases aliens through the woods shouting WAIT  . . . . . . TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.

Hang on what was I saying  . . . . . . AH YES elsewhere; when I asked everyone I was looking for elsewhere they would generally scratch their heads ask if I meant here and when I said no they would suggest over there but I was not looking for there I was looking for elsewhere. I spent a lot of time doing that until I worked out I had been here there and everywhere, although not elsewhere.

 You can see how a chaps day can vanish like sand through the fingers of a little old ladies hand when pursuing such a task. Strangely it is the sort of task (searching for elsewhere not pouring sand through fingers) us chaps will do for hours and women tend not too, even for five minutes, although I don’t know why?

.....................

My diary is a lot more rational these days, not like it was back then. . . . . . Sorry about that.

Mmmmmm My feet

The European Elections, Mrs May. An Android and a Rat

Here in Britain we have been going through the European Elections and the demise of Mrs May who finally said  . . . Oh Poo  . . . and has resigned. I don’t entirely blame her, after all she was trapped in a political mess with no real solution. Unfortunately her attempts at solving an unresolvable political mess involved trying to do the same thing each time. We have all been there at some point. Putting our pin number in the cash machine three times only to realize as it confiscates it, saying you are very naughty, that you have used the wrong pin. Anyway Mrs May was hoping to get a fourth go at using the same pin number, but as we all know that is not going to happen so she is now standing on the naughty step.

I tried to warn her about the flowering bamboo but she laughed and said I was a mad dishevelled peasant of the masses destined to scurry about in the hills away from the thrill of political life and power forever. Phew that’s good. . . . . . And it seems we both are now.

Now while on the subject of the curse of the flowering Bamboo I did something to my back a couple of days ago which stopped me from doing any work on the workshop. I was struggling just standing up at one point and could not reach the floor. Not easy when you want to put shoes on and the like. Luckily, although still a bit sore I am now moving about normally so folk are not sniggering at me and calling me the scruffiest android on Earth.

Then yesterday to add to the curse, the entire family descended on our house to eat sausage and bacon butty’s, fruit and cream and cake. To make matters worse some of the left over sausages were wrapped up in foil and taken away by folk to eat later leaving me with just enough for a sausage butty at lunch time today. I have now had to resort to eating the fruit covered in cream . . . . I need the cream to counteract all that healthy fruit stuff. Folk never run off with all the fruit.

Our new neighbours are young and keen and doing a great job of tidying up what is a sort of small holding and former mill. The drawback is they have made the resident rat population restless. The old occupants of the building didn’t seem to worry so Mr Ratty just remained there among the crumbling walls. But we have had a couple in the garden stealing bird seed, so I need to resolve the issue in a friendly way (after all they have their place in the eco system) as my wife hates the little (well not so little) critters. Apparently they are attracted to Bamboo flowers and keen on things Doom related. . . . . . . . DAMN.

Cats, Vets, Bamboo Flowers and impending DOOM

I have been busy, very busy in a sort of busy to the point of being well exhausted at the end of the day with a sore back. However it’s the sort of busy that when you reflect and look back on what you have done in the last couple of days seems to be not a lot. I’m sure I can’t be the only person this happens to. Anyway all I can say is that despite what appears to be not much progress with stuff it has been a right old game getting it done.

Yesterday morning after an early breakfast we took the cats to the vets to have various jabs for the things that are not good for cats to catch; and to kill off the fleas. I am not convinced any of the flea products work that well. The vet is a great vet and he is certainly one of the most eccentric I have ever met in my life. He is also Canadian so I am not entirely sure how he ended up in a rural backwater in the middle of nowhere. Most of the local vets prefer farm animals, not only are they bigger but they make more money out of them. This vet though loves small critters, any small critters I think he would be happy to do open heart surgery on a goldfish it the opportunity turned up. Anyway he has one small weakness in his vetting abilities and that he's not only bouncy but he talks loads and I mean loads and loads . . . . Phew. So we were a bit later than planned heading home with two confused cats. They are not used to enthusiastic talkative vets saying stuff like . . . . WOW those are amazing kidneys . . . . . and then making his trainee feel the cat’s kidneys.

So after taking the cats home and feeding them; we headed over to one of our daughters where I made a screened area for her recycling bins which had three shelves and a trellis front to hide everything, plus a small sloping roof to stop the cardboard recycling getting wet. Stuff like that takes a couple of hours to do even for a hardened DIY chap like myself . . . . Phew.

We then headed home ate some food and I was back working on the workshop until I was too tired to carry on.

Today I started on the workshop, then planted three smallish trees, then washed the car something that only happens once every 100 years or so which is an interesting coincidence which I shall come to in a minute. And then ate and watered the garden because it has been rather hot by British standards. (Yes the weather machine is still switch on). . . .

Right this coincidence I referred to, we have a couple of small bamboo plants in our garden. Bamboo is interesting it only flowers once and then dies, but it can live for 100 years before it flowers. Bamboo clumps get split and sold and then split and sold again and again in their life, but once one flowers they all flower across the entire world. And one of ours in in flower.  What I did not know is it is a sign of death, famine and doom across the world, and I have checked with the Zombies and they deny everything and say its Mrs May’s (the British Prime Minister) fault and the ever chaotic Brexit talks. . . . Plus todays European Elections for the European Parliament. I suspect the Zombies are right too. Politics is all a bit odd in Britain at present.   

Our Bamboo in Flower

I was rather pleased with these pictures too

A rather boring day for the readers of my Diary . . . Sorry.

You are probably thinking . . . . . Hang On this diary thing . . . . Back in the past loads of stuff happened and now it’s dead boring . . . .  Well that is a bit true; it is not the diary it used to be. Part of the reason at present is my continued work on Shed Two (My workshop) and the reason I am working away on that a great deal is due to the weather. It has been lovely over the last few days. Lovely to the point where our daughter phoned us up from her home just a couple of miles away on the Welsh side of the border to say how horrid the rain was. At the time we were sitting outside in the sun drinking tea and chilling. A short break from shed work.

I will admit I did fire up the old weather machine on the off chance it might finally do something useful and not cause hurricanes again. So maybe it might just be doing what it was always meant to do, make it sunny.   

Anyway shed two slowly develops. One aspect of designing and building buildings without any design whatsoever is things can develop in ways that you never thought they might. I do wonder if going back in time folk just built stuff and the key point of any good building was it did not fall down. It does mean they can become quite interesting as you ponder ways to resolve an issue that you had not thought about until three quarters of the roof is finished. And I think Shed Two will be all the better for all the little changes I keep making in order to make it structurally sound and practical in a quirky sort of way. I will then claim I am a Master Builder in the medieval tradition of Master Builders.

There have been a lot of butterflies about lately I suspect that is a good sign. I am not good on butterflies, but I did see a small blue one and a large yellow one earlier as well as the white ones and brownish ones.  . . . My knowledge of plants is a bit like my knowledge of butterflies by the way. . . . . .

Right that’s it . . . . I suspect you are now thinking Well that was rubbish. But it’s a diary so Poo . . . .  (again) . . .

I sometimes draw beasts seen in the garden

but do use a bit of artistic license so no one knows what they are

Including me

The Vampire a Mummy and a Cat . . . . . . and a workshop in progress

As I work away on my workshop in the garden I have realized it is turning into quite a lot of work. This is my own fault for making a fully insulated, double glazed workshop with a few minor fancy bits. The summerhouse I built took three years, so I hope to have this all done in about six months in total . . . . . We will see. Anyway while the weather is OK I will keep working (I am not keen on work so Poo) and get the walls sorted next.

OK as diaries go this is a bit rubbish so to cheer folk up I have included a poem . . . . OK yes its a repeat from way back. I need to write some new poetry. Possibly about sheds and workshops, although that does seem to have rather limited market appeal. 

Anyway here is one about a Vampire a Mummy and a Cat. 

A Vampire and a Mummy
Chased a large black cute fluffy cat . . . . . (Meow)
They chased it up a lamp post
And past an Ex-London borough council flat
They chased it past the chip shop
And under a railway bridge
And into the recycling yard
Where it hid behind a fridge
They chased it into a cul-de-sac
Past a pound shop and a café
And into a posh restaurant
Where the cat knocked over a carafe
They chased it onto the artificial ski slope
Past a man singing songs and drinking Gin
And round and round a roundabout
Until they all got in a spin
They chased it into the cinema
Which was showing the movie
Catch 22
They chased it into a railway station
And then into the public Loo
But they soon all ran out again
Because there was a penguin
Doing things it should not do
Then they chased it past a statue
Of Queen Victoria holding a Stratoscope
Chasing the cat for hours and hours
Until they had almost given up all hope. . . . . . .

But when they finally caught up with it
It seemed the cat just did not care
Because the cat was in fact
An android Zombie Cat
Which cut the Mummy clean in half

With its android Zombie Cat laser eye stare
Which as you might expect
The Vampire proclaimed was ever so slightly
Rotten and
Unfair

And the cat smiled
And said it didn’t care

Typical cat

The Damselfly and the Maybug . . . . . And a Bus

(17...)

We visited the local village market this morning to buy provisions such as veggies, bread, bacon, spicy sausages, butter plus a quick discussion with locals about a bus protest because the local government grant might end for the local bus to the great metropolis of Shrewsbury. Rather ironic because it is probably the busiest bus about for miles and is normally standing room only by about half way there. Still that’s politics for you a bit odd at times.  Then we had a trip to say happy birthday to our daughter and a toasted sandwich at a local grand house with a happy dog that roams about hunting toasted sandwiches

Followed by a visit to a huge greenhouse to buy some plants before heading home and doing woodwork on you know what.  Then a bowl of soup and then I came face to face with a damselfly. It was rather a friendly damselfly and was happy to chat about busses, Maybugs and ponds and the like for a bit before flying off.

After that I did stuff, watched a bit of news on the telly shouted a bit a someone discussing politics on the telly, and then told the cats they were greedy and that ten meals each a day was enough for a huge wild cat, not just your average moggies who chill all day doing almost nothing.

And finally I have been outside as it is very very still and on nights this calm things move about in the darkness. Normally it is just Zombies, but tonight it is a couple of Hedgehogs and a confused Maybug or two. As far as I can tell Maybugs are always confused and that Damselfly certainly thought so. My wife hates Maybugs due to their clumsy flying techniques and general inability to avoid humans. Some folk (such as my wife) are not keen on being hit in the face by Maybugs as they negotiate (or fail to) the night sky.

Then write diary.

Are you wondering what I did yesterday?  . . . .  So am I . . . I can’t remember.

Shed Roofs, Cups of Tea and Aliens

(14...)

It has remained sunny and so I have been working on the Homebrew Workshop a lot. What is frustrating is my brain thinks OOOoooo do this, and then you can do that bit followed by that other bit and then paint and seal stuff. My body follows along grumbling and demanding a rest while shouting at my brain . . . . . What the ******* are you doing now I’m old and knackered you know . . . . . Pesky Brain. I am meant to be retired you know. . . . . .

I suspect my body is much like other folks bodies when they get old and knackered. They complain a great deal and really hate an enthusiastic bouncy brain. Anyway by the end of today even bending down was a good reason to groan, followed by a slightly louder groan getting up.

However the task I wished to achieve is done. Which was to get the roof felt secured on the roof of the workshop so that if it rains in the next few days it will not matter. What made it tricky is that I have made a huge fixed skylight on the south side of the roof and I wanted that sealed and watertight and painted. Having managed that I now don’t need to get back on the roof again, I just need to secure the edges neatly. This is after all going to be a very posh workshop to make very posh things in.

I would add a picture of my work here to show you but by the time I had eaten . . .Fish and Chips . . . YUM ... and then rested and chilled for a bit it was too dark so a picture will have to wait so here is an old picture I drew of a UFO . . . Aliens are always keen to meet grumpy old men in sheds, as they tend to be Alien friendly and folk just think they are mad when they tell then Aliens visited me again last night while I was pottering in my shed. They do like a nice cup of tea and a chat about life.

A view from a roof

(12...)

What a lovely sunny day it has been today. This meant that I was able to do some really constructive work on the roof of the new workshop I am building myself.  I achieved a bit yesterday but being Britain when you need a guaranteed window of a few days with no rain, (they are far and few between)  when you get one you go for it... Today was predicted dry and so is tomorrow and probably the day after. And that is good enough for me to get that roof felt fitted. It seems I just bought enough too. With basically nothing left over so  ...  PHEW.

One thing about a lovely sunny day working on a roof is you get a great view of things. Our garden is rather overgrown which is good and it means it is full of wildlife, not just Zombies and Hedgehogs either. It is full of butterflies and all manner of small flying critters which is probably why we get House Martians chatting on the power and telephone lines. House Martins sound a bit like dolphins to me which might explain why we never see them in the winter. They turn in dolphins, let’s face it, it’s got to be easier than flying to Africa chasing insects for dinner.

Right a few pictures taken from the New Workshop roof today. . . . .

The summerhouse I built has a proper roof not felt

Note the Zombie trail across the field

Pesky Beasts.

MMmmm we do have quite a few trees and shrubs

You can start to see that a Zombie could hide for ages in that lot

The Village Market and a Mad Vicar

(10...)

Today was Market Day in our little village, when I say little it is small just a huddle of houses. Although we do have a village hall (the location of the market), a garage, a health food shop and a church, but no vicar. We used to have a vicar but he retired and the new one went mad and ran away. Vicars are not keen on Zombies or Witches Covens and because we’re not that far from The Devil’s Chair we have both in abundance and they do like a quiet church for parties and general get togethers.  Something some vicars can find tricky to come to terms with.

Anyway back to the point. My wife and I headed off to the market to buy stuff. There are veggies, an ethnic stall that sells some nice shirts for £10 (a bargain, I have loads), a bread stall with very nice bread. They are a strange religious group, but seem a nice bunch of folk. Well the women are; I have never seen any men and the women are all from the USA. There is a smallholder who sells great sausages and bacon and someone selling interesting cheeses. There is also a chap selling ancient tools that old folk like me chat too and ponder tools from the past. OOOooooo and the man who sells me loads of bird food. . . . I’m sure he has trained them (the Birds) to eat extra.  . . . . And a few other stalls from time to time plus the option of tea and bacon butty’s on site . . . (I now have them as the occasional treat, not every week).

Anyway after a chat about stuff and then wandering home it was time for a cup of tea and a bit of cake and then some lunch and a chill with another cup of tea. A chap needs to rest after a long morning testing sausage samples and poking at obscure tools and complaining about how much small birds can eat.

After lunch it started raining again (I was not happy) but I ventured out towards the workshop I am making and did some proper work fixing a breathable membrane on the outside of the structure before I clad it. Thanks to the rain I still can’t fit the roofing felt. And I must take a few pics soon.

I then ate food. Pasta, so something healthy which means I can maybe eat something unhealthy later, we will see.  I am chilling again now in the office and the cats have not found me yet so it is peaceful and that is good.

So that’s it . . . .  a fairly uninteresting day in general, but this is a diary and folk dont leap about doing exciting things every day.

Little old Ladies, Armageddon and a Supermarket.

(9...)

Today’s task was collecting my wife’s new glasses, so after breakfast we set off, out into the rain. Yes the weather was even worse than yesterday. The roads were very quiet as we left our tiny village heading towards the grand supermarket (I say grand in reference to its size not interior) where the optician is housed  . The roads remained quiet until we got to the outskirts of the town (I hate big towns and cities). Then the roads were manic despite the fact the weather was rubbish and the roads a bit iffy with all the spray.  Our plan was to get some food supplies from M & S and have a coffee but M & S was full of folk fighting over coffee so we decided to get our supplies and continue the quest.

I like to think of these trips in terms of Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter in order to survive the journey. So having got our first items we journeyed onwards so that my wife could get some felt and beads to make mysterious beasts. I think the plan is to sacrifice then to the Sun God so the Sun will return . . . . . . (Ah apparently that is not true . . . . and I am an Idiot)

Anyway armed with more things we faced the biggest challenge the Grand Supermarket where we got my wife’s glasses.  It was full of folk too fighting over food and milk and packets of lettuce. I suspect the rumour about Armageddon had spread by then. I can be very convincing at times and while my wife was getting her new glasses tweaked to suit her, I may have casually mentioned Armageddon to a bus party of little old ladies with trolleys heading towards the frozen food section. . . Not sure what they were doing there on mass. Anyway there is nothing quite like a group of panicking little old ladies grabbing everything from the shelves and screaming “we are all doomed” to make folk also panic just in case.

We then headed to the DIY store to buy glue and wood for the workshop and then headed to the Garden Centre for a coffee. It was manic also.  It seemed the coffee shop was full of hysterical little old ladies all claiming some idiot had told them a bunch of lies about the End of the World. I tried to reassure them you just can’t believe everything folk tell you. . . Anyway they thought I was a very nice chap not like that other one in the supermarket. I did say supermarkets bring out the worst in folk and they all nodded and pointed at stuff.

After our coffee, OK a hot Chocolate in my case we headed home where the cats leapt at my head demanding food. . . . . . . . . . . Pesky cats

And that is the day so far

Our youngest daughter is due later . . . Apparently she is trying to calm down a group of hysterical old ladies so might be a bit late and I have a car full of DIY things to unload . . . . . depending on when or if the rain stops.

Pesky Rain

I have just been reading an old diary entry from 9^th May five years ago . . . I remember this. It just goes to show a diary is useful.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It appears that when someone leaves you a little note to remind you to do a particular task it is not a good idea to amuse yourself by modifying the instruction in case you forget that you modified it when you read it the following day. Let’s face it the very reason the note was left in the first place was because I tend to forget things.

So after waking up and waving my hair about in the shower and staggering about saying WHO AM I, WHAT DAY IS IT, WHERE IS MY BRAIN . . . . AH THE ZOMBIES HAVE NICKED MY BRAIN . . . . Eating some breakfast and then groaning loads in order to prove I am a Zombie. I noticed a note left for me to tell me what my task is today. So having read the task I decide I should do them in the order they have been written down.

Instruction One: - Strim Cows

WHAT? . . . . . . I don’t know what that is about but if I am left a note then I have always found it is best just to do what I am told. There was a time I would get distracted and go off and do other things and so the important jobs would get left. But no longer I am a lean mean efficient fighting machine (sort of). I am not sure if any of you have ever tried to strim a cow with a strimmer it is far from easy, in fact it is extremely hard. First off you need to get the flock (sorry herd) penned into the corner of a field and then fire up the strimmer and then charge at them in a random way to confuse them. If you are lucky you might get to strim the side of the odd cow as it stampedes past you, I will tell you right now cows do not like strimmers one bit. Cows can shift I have always thought of cows as slow happy docile beasts with a happy go lucky attitude to life, oblivious of the fact they will be turned into dinner for the masses at some point. Yes OK they did start making tunnels a long time ago, but that was the past, those cows have long since been char grilled and covered in sauce.

Cows it turns out (to get back to the point) can move rather quickly and it also appears that if annoyed enough say by a young enthusiastic chap with a strimmer can be a little aggressive. Well when I say little I really mean big; cows are big, very big.

So after a short time of chasing cows with a strimmer I found myself pursued by angered cows intent on revenge. This quickly led to a decision to abandon Instruction One and concentrate on Instruction two.

Instruction Two :- Pick Parsley

Well this was a piece of cake and done in a flash. It was only afterwards when I was asked HAVE YOU STRIMMED THE COW PARSLEY AT THE TOP OF THE DRIVE that I remembered I had slightly modified the note left for me . . . . . . . . Strim Cow Parsley . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN

The good news, I now have, but the bad news is I don’t think the cows like me anymore. I have told them I don’t eat cows, but that has only led to rumours and now the farmer does not like me either.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Let Them Make Bread . . . . . .

(8...)

Damn its wet today, On the bright side I am glad I cut the grass yesterday as it now means it can go . . . . . .OOOOoooooo rain lets grow really fast . . . . . It also meant I spent this morning making bread as a chap is inclined to do bearing in mind I can make two things, Bread and Ginger Biscuits.  . . . (OOooo and Arty things)

The cats are sulking they don’t really like rain much either, and the House Martins who I forgot to mention yesterday turned up for the first time seem to be sulking also. It’s a long way from Africa to arrive just in time to find the rain has started.

Pesky Rain.

Actually as I type I can see a hint of sun, but it’s really wet so I still can’t get the roof of the workshop felted yet.

My wife received a phone call today to say her new glasses are now ready so we can go and collect them in the next few days. I have told her she will now see the handsome sophisticated me in all my glory once again, but she rolled about on the floor in hysterics pointing and saying I am mad and dishevelled  . . . Well I was very surprised I was not expecting a compliment.

Right I plan to wander about a bit and be the man of the house and look important in order to keep those cats in their place on the pecking order.

I may return later . . . . . or may not

OK I have but I have to admit I have not done a lot. Well it has been damp and grey so it is not really the sort of day folk get bouncy and enthusiastic in.

Todays Homemade Bread

Drugs, Birds, Cats and a Ladder . . . . .

This morning involved a trip to a nearby village hall where one person looked at another person’s foot as folk do. After that the trip involved the collection of drugs from a doctor’s surgery. Yes it all sounds dodgy but in fact it is not even remotely dodgy. One of the things I have learnt about getting old is after about 50-ish you gain a new prescription from the docs about every 5-10 years or so, so if you reach 100 you just grab a handful and hope for the best.

On returning home I was out in the garden with the lawn mower (OOOoooo what fun). One Ecopoint to make here is keep the blade on your lawn mower as high as possible and the wildlife will generally be OK. Our garden has some very wild bits indeed and is full of beasts and birds and other critters. Those birds cost a fortune in seed, nuts and stuff too and do they care about that NO they just invite all their mates round for a party.

Now in the past I have used a gardener (OK a cheap gardener) and I was pondering why I now don’t. So I looked back through the pages (posts) of my diary and all became clear again. I don’t remember stuff so a diary is useful.

 And here it is what I had written about this many moons ago.

………………………………………………………..

A useful tip that folk may not know about is be selective with who you use as a Gardener because Ghosts, Ghouls and Gargoyles can be a little obstinate and will tend to go off and do their own thing. And saying to them NO NO I WAS THINKING OF MAYBE A CHERUB BALANCING ON THE BACK OF A DAUPHIN, SORRY I MEAN DOLPHIN; OOOOO NO A DAUPHIN WOULD BE GOOD, IN THE FISH POND (as a fountain), NOT THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE. . . . . . AND YES THE BLOOD RED DYE IN THE WATER IS VERY EFFECTIVE BUT WILL CLASH WITH THE GOLDFISH A BIT . . . . HANG ON ARE THOSE PIRANHA FISH. . . .

Will only make them stare at you like you are a fool and know nothing and that the new sulphur bed with its noxious gasses and sharp pointy things is now so much better than that old flower bed with its Gladioli and Garibaldi Biscuits . . . . . sorry I mean bluebells.

That’s the last time we use UNDIG Gardeners Ltd with their catchy slogan . . . . UnDig Have Risen from the Grave to help you, no job too small……….

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Yes well that was a long time ago and my wife says a gardener would be good as long as I don’t choose another cheap one. So I now do the gardening because proper gardeners are expensive. . . . . . .

As for the rest of the day . . . . I was on a roof lashing down a tarpaulin like a pirate at sea in a storm with my faithful parrot (the cat). . . . The cat has learnt to climb ladders so if I climb the ladder so does the cat. I hate heights and ladders but having a cat on your head is an added complication I don’t need.

Then finally I ate. . (spicy deep fried prawns and rice . . Yum) . . . Drunk tea and chilled and am now doing the diary.

With a cat . . . . Pesky Cat

The A to Z Reflections Post of 2019

The April  2019 A to Z challenge is well and truly over I always enjoy it (although not last year as I was unable to do it).  I have to say I don’t always get to visit all those other folk  doing it, due to the fact I tend to be doing other things. April is that sort of month you see. Here in Britain after a long wet winter of yuck weather (I’m generalizing, but its true most of the time) suddenly things perk up and folk go . . . . “OOOOoooo look, a fiery ball in the sky providing light and heat. Let’s venture out into the world”. So they do venture out into the world and that includes me.

Now around here on my bit of the English Welsh border going out in April involves fresh country air, plants growing, cutting the grass for the first time, and making sure any random Zombies have not set up home in garden sheds or under dense undergrowth. I mean it is bad enough that the birds all set up home in our garden sheds and the dense undergrowth, but Zombies are bigger and often sing sea shanties at night loudly which makes sleeping difficult. And their eating habits are terrible.

Anyway this year I started making a Workshop at the very end of March and it continues even as I type, (OK not entirely true as I’m typing) and as this is a one man build. Partly because like many grumpy old men I am not really a team sort of chap. And that means the only person I am going to trust to do a job correctly is me which is also worrying because I’m old and starting to lose the plot so can make errors. I generally blame the cats when that happens, partly because it is them that tend to distract me loads leading to me making the errors  . . . . I think you probably get my drift and I am rambling now.

So that, you see is why I tend not to get to blogs on the A to Z Challenge much . . .  April is a funny month for us British folk (as I have said) and we always start our little projects that we have been thinking about through the long dark damp days of winter. I mean writing the posts for an A to Z is easy, well it is for me because I write mad ones, but visiting folk takes time a lot more time than most folk realise which is why most folk don’t get many visitors to their blogs or get to visit many blogs. It is just part of life and the universe.

On the Bright side when you venture out into the garden in the morning to shout at the Zombies who sneaked back into the garden last night and were singing (again) and have eaten all the goldfish (again). You will be able to think to yourself  . . . . . . So I guess a load of other folk who did the A to Z Challenge will be outside right now doing exactly the same as me . . . .Pesky Zombies . . . . . DAMN I don’t have time to visit all those other blogs now.  Maybe I’ll visit them tomorrow  . . . or maybe next year when I’m not so busy and I have made some Zombie defences that actually work.  But blink and before you know it its April again and the cycle continues.

Well thanks to those who did visit my blog, I hope I managed to get back and thank you all, I think I did . . . . . . And maybe I’ll see you all again next year.

And remember regardless of religion, politics, personal views and thoughts, the one great thing about the A to Z is we all start and end equal having perused a single collective objective. And that is a good thing in this world. 

Another Day of the new look Diary

My wife and I are about to take to the roads and enter the wondrous world of the supermarket. Yes I can hear your thoughts . . . . . No Don’t Do It . . . . But sadly it is necessary as this is the location of the optician in order that my wife can get new glasses. I got new glasses last year so at present I can see. This is good because it will mean I will be able to find the optician.

 Right at this point I will take a break but will return to conclude this diary entry, post optician, post DIY shop and post delivering a few ginger biscuits to my daughter on route. Hey life is exciting or what. . . . . 

 Before I go I could mention that the cats are their grumpy selves this morning and have now had three meals so far and want more but that is fairly normal for an average day here. OOooooo and its grey and damp outside.

Tick Tock Tick Tock . . . . . .(time Passing)

Phew its evening now and my wife has ordered her new glasses so she will be able to see stuff again like threading needles. You need good eyesight for that.

On our way home we stopped for a cup of tea and a scone in the garden centre and I had a look at the cactus . . . . . 100 pound for a cactus just because it is over 12 inches or so tall, I have a few bigger cactus (bigger than that) a couple of which were given to me by folk who know I am cactus friendly and they grow well in our humble home. The garden centre was busy too; I am not good with busy so was pleased to get home where the cats complained loads until they got fed a few times . . . . Pesky Cats

OOOOooooo there was loads of rain again this afternoon so I have drunk more tea and eaten Ginger Biscuits.
OK then that’s it I am sat typing and will chill shortly with more tea. 

 

Its Raining and that is Annoying. . . Very Annoying.

Well it has been raining today that was not meant to happen as my plan (well we know all about Plans) was to work on the roof of the new workshop so I can fit the roofing felt. OK using roofing felt is a slight cheat, but as it’s a workshop for me I feel a few easy options are allowed. It will have many other little bits which folk will look at and say . . . . . Why?

So instead I made Ginger biscuits. I don’t really cook or make much that is edible but ginger biscuits are one of them and very popular they are too. They are also Gluten free so my youngest daughter will eat them. I say youngest but she is 40 now which I think makes me old and knackered. However the kids like ginger biscuits so don’t point and laugh and say I am old and knackered when I make them or I will shout Yah Sucks Boo at them and eat the entire lot myself. 

 It seems it could be showery for a few days now which is rather annoying. Maybe I will dig out the old weather machine and point it at the clouds. Much in the same way the kids point at me only with a weather machine I get to pull the trigger and the clouds don’t like that much. 


 Well that’s it I have posted a nonspecific post on my blog and I have not done that in ages . . . . . It’s the rains fault. . . .

Pesky rain

The icing was fine but the chocolate was playing up a bit

Pesky Chocolate

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