Many people enjoying a
sci-fi film or book and reading of Androids will seldom if ever think about the
origin of the Android, it is after all a funny old word and an idea that can be
traced back to the ninetieth century. But the real truth about the origins of Androids
has been lost to all but a small group of Scientists, historians and Android enthusiasts.
You see the ninetieth century
was a time of much scientific advancement across many disciplines; it was also
a time in the history of man of much insecurity and political volatility
throughout Europe, where one army would march
on another.
So much thought was put
into ways and means of defeating the armies of your enemies as they jousted for
supremacy. It was into this world that a young and brilliant scientist was
thrust by his countries leaders in the heart of Europe.
Young Augustus Von
Androidus was a genius and a master of building Automata, but he had said that
with the right resources he could make a fully independent walking, talking and
thinking mechanical man. And so the great German leadership of the time gave
him everything he needed to do this, they wanted Young Augustus Von Androidus to build an invincible
army of mechanical fighting men.
Using the very best
designs for suits of armour Augustus Von Androidus build sophisticated
mechanical structures and mechanisms into them powered by concentric vibration
activated coil winders and multilayer bimetal ratchet drives, meaning his warriors were
self powered and could operate forever in theory. Added to this the use of
infinitely variable cam drive systems allowed the worriers to think for
themselves and learn as they fought, so they would never lose any battle..
After many years a group
(the number of which is unknown) of worriers now called Androids were finally
complete and a battle against an elite force was arranged as a test deep in the heart of
the Black forest in a large clearing. The Androids lined up as the elite of the
German Army prepared themselves to attack, both sides waiting for the other to
make the first move. But then the
silence was suddenly broken as a small child skipped across the field picking
flowers.
The small child curious at
the small army of shiny Androids ran up to see them and offered one of them a
flower, but as the android bent down to take the flower the men of the German
Army shouted at the child to go away and threw a rock at it. This made the
small child cry dropping all the flowers as it ran off home. It was at this
point that the Androids all looked at each other and realised that fighting and
war were futile and wrong so they dropped their weapons and vanished into the
forest.
The German authorities
covered the entire story up as they could hardly tell the public that they had
lost a army of mechanical fighting men (Androids) which meant Augustus
Von Androidus was never recognized by the world for his greatest
achievement. Then a few years later
someone else claimed that they had thought of the term Android rather to the
annoyance of Augustus Von Androidus.
As for his Androids they
are thought to still roam the wild places of the world learning and watching.
Which is why folk tell stories of strange mountain men or men of the forests
and remote islands, unaware that they are in fact entirely mechanical
sophisticated Androids.
Anyway that’s what they
said at Ye Olde Pig and Trolley Inn when they refused to sell me the all day
Full English Breakfast at quarter to twelve, adding that you can’t have a Full
English Breakfast after 11.30 am.
