Thursday, 28 April 2016

Poetry for X . . . . . Sort of

It seems I cant write Poetry for X. . . Although I tried a bit and thought about it for a least 30 seconds or even more. But the problem is that so far stuff has just happened in my head and it has been OK because it all just happens as I type, however X did not just magically happen so I decided to say BAH HUMBUG and ended up writing the following without the guidance of my trusty Red Indian spirit guide who I am told was eating ice cream and chasing seagulls in the wild places of the British coast line. I know its true he told me himself . . . . . 

Luckily it appears all has gone well for the Letter Y which for even stranger reasons has gone Japanese or as near Japanese as a chap who knows nothing about Japan can get. Actually there is a reason for trying to make it a bit more Japanese sounding which you will learn in due course. Still that it tomorrows letter so for now we have my extremely bad Poem for X, honestly it is terrible   

Salmon and ham and X
Cannot run away
Because it seems they have no leX (to stand on)
As a chap did once X-plain and say
And although a chicken has been designed with two . . (LeX)
In your oven it has nowhere to run too
So it soon becomes an X chicken
And turns into a rather nice chicken stew
Rats of course have four leX
And will run up and down and back and fore
At speeds which might seem quite X-stream
Which is why I shoot at them?
With my large Rat Killing
Laser Beam.

The End

Actually I rather like rats they are clever little critters
And good sports and generally good eggs all round
Well eggs are generally sort of round ish

I am not sure that terms such as good eggs and good sports are still used among the masses these days but a chap has to maintain standards and keep proper English like what I write alive and kicking. A sentiment that the humble rat entirely agrees with, although in their case it is the alive and kicking bit they are keen on, or as they would say themselves, alive and scurrying. And as one rat mate rather succinctly liked to put it EEEeeeeccccckkk. 


  1. Now that poem might work if one had a slight lisp.

    The humble rat is not so humble in London. They are large enough to strap on a saddle and ride through the cobbled streets.And their attitude stinks. I came across one recently and it gave me a look that said, "wot you looking at? Why don't you take a picture, it will last longer." It was quite a long look.

    Ooh, can't wait to read your Y post from the sounds of it.

    1. I have heard those London rats are mean critters, what with them, urban foxes and politicians I think I may be safer in the countryside. Although I am not sure why we have a new posh electric fence next to us today maybe we are expecting Zombies again.

  2. A good egg? I'm familiar with that expression. Must have been something I read. The letter X is giving several bloggers headaches today. You just need to name your rat Xavier and all will be well.

    1. Yes good egg is a rather old fashioned slightly middle class and almost obsolete sort of saying, so ideal for the likes of me.

      When we owned our gallery we used to get rats turn up in the yard at the back. They were sort of passing through as the food shop next door used to stick food down the drains and it always attracted the odd rat from time to time. In order not to scare customers they were all called Eric. I would often get a call from a member of staff to say Eric is in the yard. One day they phoned to say Eric was sat in next doors window watching folk wander by.

  3. Xtremely EXentric! ~Liz

    1. Yes I was struggling a bit with X