Monday, 25 April 2016

A Poem for a Unicorn and an Umbrella

What is that unidentified thing
Lurking under your umbrella
Which you have used rather a lot lately
In this unusually inclement weather
Did it utter an unearthly noise?
Something I did not understand
And is that an indescribable claw
Or some sort of diabolical cursed hand
And why have you brought it into this place
With its slightly disturbing Undulating face
Hiding it under your black umbrella
Hoping we would not notice
Because of all that unusually inclement weather
But who could detract attention
From such a utilitarian device as an umbrella
Particularly bearing in mind
The unusually inclement weather
And as we unearth the beast from under your umbrella
We discover upon its head a large pointy horn
I think therefore we can tell that this
Unidentified hideous Beast

Is in fact a Unicorn.


  1. Now why is that unicorn hiding under an umbrella. Aren't they supposed to expel rainbows? Maybe it's just shy.

    1. I think Unicorns have good publicists they are terrible beasts who will bite your hand off just for fun. Then look all innocent when someone turns up to help, claiming it was a Zombie Humming Bird with a chainsaw. Creating those rainbows as a distraction.

  2. I'm not sure why 'undulating face,' made me laugh. And aren't Unicorns meant to poop rainbows? Maybe it something to do with all the unusually inclement weather we've been having lately.

    1. Ah yes the undulating face was all the fault of the poetry. You see the words have about two seconds to form in my head and then I have about thirty seconds to write then down or they are forgotten forever. There is no honing, editing or carefully crafting my work here, it is all done by some strange old Red Indian guide in the afterlife and it sort of arrives out the ends of my fingers. Only Red Indian guides are rubbish at typing so its all his fault. It is rare indeed to have any clue as to what I plan to write when I start writing. Even this reply to your excellent comment Miss Lily is a total Mystery and I will need to go and read it to make sure it makes some sort of sense.

      It seems it sort of does PHEW