Friday, 29 January 2016

Poetry for Quiz Nights

We are off to a quiz night tonight
In the local Village Hall
To answer many questions
And I will try to answer them all
Like who made Lord Nelsons favourite Hat
And what was the name of Elvis Presley’s Cat
And who invented Sheppard’s Pie
And what is the constant in the equation for the cube of Y
And where did Tom and Jerry live
And what was the present Quasimodo did give
And what was the smallest critter on Noah’s Ark
And how many teeth has the Great White Shark
I know these questions are easy
We all know this stuff
Such as what did the Polynesians use instead of Snuff
And what is the speed of an adult Plaice
And what do you find on a King Penguins face
And how tall is the tallest waterfall in Wales
And what happens when a flimflam fails
And what is the standard width of Britain’s railway track
And how do you get a boomerang back
Why do mice stand on their heads
And who wrote . . . The man who lived in two sheds
And where can you find the polyfinttery spider
And what is the altitude record for a glider

And then half way through we all stop
For food cake and drink
Before it all stats again
And we all need to think

And then at the end the top team gets a prize
Which is something a bit odd and a bit of a surprise
 Like a mummified newt
Or a flock of well trained
House Flies


And if you come last you normally get a big jar of jelly babies, which explains a lot about the local Village Quiz Nights and why folk are not too keen on doing too well. Although no one wants to look like they know nothing but then everyone wants the jelly babies, so it’s a battle of wits to the bottom. We have never won or lost, but if our team ever does win  I get to keep all the trained Flies. . . . Now how cool is that.  

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