House Signs and Vampire Crows

At present our house sign is a battered old bit of wood that has split and rotted over time to the point where no one can read it and so no one can find us. It is rather good that no one can find us because I am a grumpy unsociable chap who shouts at folk turning up and I threaten to set the Penguin on them. They tend to think I'm a bit mad then and run off. Unfortunately I am the only unsociable grumpy chap in the house and I have been asked to design a new house sign that means folk can find us.

My first ideas were rejected before I even got them onto paper and I was told NO ZOMBIES or MONSTERS well that’s not fair that was at least three of four ideas gone in an instant. That happened to me once before a long long time ago, I was asked to paint a huge mural on the wall in the local Youth Centre and I painted a huge scary dragon smashing its way through the end wall. It went down rather well with the teenagers in the youth group. Sadly however the hall was also used by some sort of mother and toddler group and a gang of little old ladies, neither of which approved and the poor old dragon had to be made unscary. Well that was not fair it never quite looked the same and a couple of years later the hall was entirely painted white inside and that was the end of that. Such is the life of an obscure and unknown artist in the wilds of the English Welsh borders, I lived just on the Welsh side at that time as opposed to just on the English side now.

Anyway back to the point this house sign. My first sketch done in hast late last night has not been entirely rejected yet, but I may need to do some more drawing. I was wondering how vampire crows would go down I might try and sneak one onto the next design, maybe no one will notice.

I have to say my suggestion of moving parts and letters that light up in the dark has not gone dawn well either with the chap who sort of offered to make us a new house sign. I think he may have had something slightly easier to make in mind, but then he knows what I'm like when left to do the designing.