Thursday 28 May 2015

Shock news of latest sponsor to distance itself from FIFA and the World Cup

We interrupt this Blog to bring you a special message from our sponsors. . . . . 

Due to recent adverse publicity  Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires World Famous Elixir of Everything will no longer be sponsoring FIFA or any other football related organizations where a football might be kicked in any way using feet.  And we strongly condemn the further use of robots and androids in future World Cups.


Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires 
World famous 
Elixir of Everything.
Available at all leading chemists
Vets and hardware shops




Have you ever wondered how to get rid of those grey hairs
Blotchy skin marks
That annoying scratch on the table
Wondered how to stop the cat running up the curtains
Is your car running badly?
Does your mind wander, do you need to focus on that exam next week
Worried you might fail that drugs test in that world cup qualifier  .  
Have your shoes lost their shine 
Are you getting old and wish to look younger
Want to Lose Weight
Extinguish that Chip pan fire
Is your goldfish looking limp and lifeless?
Do you wish you could roller-skate, climb mountains, and play chess?
Is that stubborn stain on the carpet playing on your mind?
Do you get sea sick, can't sleep or have hay fever
Does that favourite old chair have woodworm.
Want to be the life and sole of the party
Become fabulously rich
Sing like Tom Waits
Swim like a dolphin
Have shiny teeth like a film star
Become a film star
Would you like to be able to turn invisible in restaurants?
Catch frogs with your X rays eyes
Ride a bicycle
Add some extra spiciness to that takeaway curry
Having bother with rats, cockroaches, constipation or embarrassing itches.
Are those drains blocked?
Would you like that lawn mower to start first time?
Have the perfect tan
Stop the Christmas tree losing it needles.
Play guitar like Eddie Van Halen
Polish those old floor boards
Stop those slugs eating your lettuce.

Yes you need Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires 
World famous Elixir of Everything.
Available at all leading chemists
Vets and hardware shops. . . . NOW

Quote I AM AN IDIOT 2345 at any leader retailer to get two for the price of one.
Limited stocks available
Terms and conditions apply (no longer available to members of FIFA)


Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires 
World famous 
Elixir of Everything.
And everything will seem better

4 comments:

  1. One of the senseless victims of this sportz scandal are dogs named Fifi, and even worse, dogs named FIFI.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am still try to think of a dog joke relating to football but with no luck. . . . so there could be a long paws. . . . . . . .

      Delete
  2. Wow! Thanks to Franklin F F Frankenzompires
    World famous Elixir of Everything, my limp and lifeless goldfish no longer suffers from sea sickness, (which is good, it being a fish and all) lack of sleep or hayfever. He is now able to roller skate up mountains, whilst playing chess and singing Tom Waits songs.
    Thanks Franklin F F Frankenzompires
    World famous Elixir of Everything!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And better still Miss Lily he will make a great curry. . . .

      Delete