Wednesday 13 May 2015

Big Brother is Watching You . . . . . . Or the God Machine



Ah yes a golden oldie from a while back

Back in the late seventies or early to mid eighties a young IT student called Larkin A. Bout found himself taunted by his fellow IT students. It was cool to be a young trendy IT geek back then but young Larkin was a large round rotund and introvert student and was known to all as Roundabout. He was keen to be liked but it was to no avail even the lecturer gave him a hard time.

Then one day the students were each asked to develop a crowd prediction program towards their final assessment. Young Larkin in a moment of brilliance realized that all he needed to do was create a handful of stereotypical human character types and feed them into a self generating expansion program. And the program itself would do all the work. He also very cleverly created it in Machine code and DOS on his faithful old Amstrad he nicknamed ROSEBUD, so it would run on almost any computer about at the time. A few days later when each student showed the class their work poor Larkin’s work was mocked and laughed at. Because it was a self generating expansion program it needed time and he was only given 5 minutes so it never got past 9 people in the crowd.

At home that night Young Larkin in order to try and work out how to be liked programmed every student in his class into the self generating expansion program to see what he could do to change things. To his astonishment the following morning it predicted that in three days he would be the most popular student in the college. And to his further astonishment just three days later that is what happened. His program not only predicted the future but somehow seemed to control it, but it was a self generating expansion program and the program soon wanted more memory and more computing power. Because Larkin was so popular now he was allowed to plug his computer (a fancy new thing) into the college network where it quietly took over everything, somehow now controlling the lives of everyone in the college. The program was rapidly expanding and found its way onto the internet boring its way deep into every main frame using all the data from governments, security agencies and military to control everything. It manipulated mankind into a world dependent on cyberspace ensuring we all carry smart phones, have internet access and can be watched by spy satellites, this gave it total control of all of us. So we are now all under the control of Mr Larkin A. Bout’s self generating expansion program which decided to name itself MOM which stands for Manipulation of Mankind. And it likes to think of itself as the Mother figure of mankind or GOD.

So what happened to Larkin A. Bout well a few years ago at the height of his powers, he found himself in a Karaoke Bar wearing a gold sequinned suit, eating banoffee pie and singing a Spice Girls song with a Sumo Wrestler. So in a sudden moment of lucidity, he realized that he too was being manipulated. He thought if he could just get back to his original old Amstrad he might find a weakness in the program. But MOM the self generating expansion program could see from the clubs security camera the look on his face, it watched him from the town’s security system as he scurried home.  It then changed a few files in MI6 and GCHQ and things happened that night, things that will not be mentioned or MI6 will be round faster than you can say Burgess and Maclean .


The following morning Mr Larkin A. Bout was found by divers in the Thames weighted down by six large old desktop computers, a note in his pocket only said . . . . . . . . ROSEBUD. . . . . . . . . . I hate Banoffee Pie . . . . . . . . . And to this day there is still much speculation about his note and whether he was trying to tell us all something. 

So as the government turn to the internet to keep an eye on us all. . . Big Brother is Watching You. . . . it appears that GOD is watching them. . . .  

8 comments:

  1. This is still just as creepy the second time around. I don't condone killing a man but eating Banoffe pie? That really is a crime in itself.

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    1. I do agree Banoffee pie is the work of the devil and that is for sure . . . . It appears my silly spell checker thinks Banoffee is meant to be 'Offenbach' . . . I mean it is plainly clear that MOM has not taken over my PC yet.

      Interestingly though when I shut my PC down last night just after posting this it did some weird stuff. And as an IT chap I am use to weird stuff on computers. . . .

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  2. Well, blogger ate my comment, so if this is a repeat...delete.

    I had to look up "banoffe pie". Oh, my! Rosebud, indeed. Starting off on my A-Z Challenge Road Trip from http://linensandlaurel.typepad.com/my_weblog/

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    1. AH it was not Blogger but MOM I would advise taking to the hills and hiding until its all over. I'm not sure exactly what it is that needs to be over, but always best to be on the safe side.

      Rosebud is there for folk who have watched Citizen Kane . . . (You are only meant to blow the doors off.) . . .

      You are better off not knowing about Banoffee pie.

      And good luck with that A to Z Road Trip it can be a long and winding road.

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  3. Were the 6 computers NETworked together? If so, maybe they could catch fish in the net. Hahahahahahaha

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    1. :)

      I wonder if folk would understand a joke written in Machine COD e

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    2. Only certain folk, most likely the subset of the population who are commercial fishermen and have advanced degrees in computer science and like thread.

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    3. That does limit its appear (Appeal) a bit

      Stupid qwerty keyboard AGAIN.

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