Tuesday, 21 April 2015
Roger (Rocket) Ravens . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers
Roger (Rocket) Ravens
Roger or Rocket to everyone that knew him had one ambition in life and that was to be the first man on the moon and so he spent his life building the Ravens Rocket Mk1 in his garden in
Port Talbot. The only town who would
allow anyone to build and launch a sizeable rocket from a suburban back garden
without a licence. Making it the rocket
capital of Europe for a short time until the
local council truly understood the risks.
It took many years to complete but with the assistance of several eminent thinkers and engineers of the time including Marlin Mascots, Harrison Horsechestnut Hutt, Arnold Alexander Axle Armstrong-Atlas and Miss Yemiliano Yaragoza he did finally finish his rocket in 1869, and on July 20th set off on his greatest adventure destroying several houses and a café on take off which did not go down well. At this stage Mr Quinton Quantum-Quizzical said to the assembled press we know Roger (Rocket) Ravens is in his rocket but we do not know if he is alive or dead and therefore we have a paradox where both states can exist at the same time.
The trip lasted about 9 days in total and he successfully landed back in the Port Talbot allotments, which did not go down well as it was reaching the point where the main harvest was due, and complains were made to the council. The massed crowds were egger to see the large quantities of blue moon cheese they had heard of, but Roger (Rocket) Ravens only had a pile of grey rock. At this point folk lost interest as
Port Talbot had lots of rock
already and they did not really want more. And the hopes of selling Welsh
rarebit made with moon cheese as a tourist attraction had now vanished into the
dust (grey moon dust).
A few weeks later Roger discovered his rocket smashed up and in bits in his garden, an act of vandalism thought to have been undertaken by angry allotment holders. The local newspaper the Port Talbot Gazette proudly ran the main headline that night . . . . Who Killed
Rocket. . . . A headline that has never been surpassed to this day by the local
However Roger (Rocket) Ravens was content knowing he was the first man to walk on the moon and that one day someone will find a Welsh flag with a large Welsh rarebit next to it (Rogers Rarebit . . . . HA HAH AH ah ah ah ah ah hha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha).