Saturday 11 April 2015

Jasper James . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers


Jasper James

Having made his name as a prize-fighter in the darker corners of Victorian England, Jasper James knew that he needed to retire when he was beaten by the son of Benny (Grizzly) Knuckle-bender, who was the man he originally won the prestigious Shorthill Belt from many years earlier.  And he was certainly not someone you would expect to invent a device such as the James Juxtaposing Jumbling Machine.  It was the very first mechanical device to use a sliding integrated diminished scissor action to create a self selecting binary IF switch. And that alone meant that among his peers in the world of Victorian inventors he was looked upon with much reverence and admiration.

Unfortunately Jasper James never appeared to entirely understand his own invention or the simple paradox that its design signified to the great minds of the time. And a curious reporter from The Times Newspaper discovered that the James Juxtaposing Jumbling Machine was in fact invented by a school boy who wanted to become a great boxing legend. And it turned out Jasper James tricked him into handing over his device which he had made as a fourth year school project in metalwork.

Sadly the young school boy was a terrible boxer and had to settle for a life of science at Oxford University. As for Jasper James after the news that he did not actually invent his own invention he became a pet shop owner and spent the rest of his days breeding goldfish. . 

10 comments:

  1. Jasper's brains got a bit jumbled in the boxing arena. Probably shared the same IQ powers as his goldfish.

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    1. They were very posh pedigree Fan Tail Goldfish, they could do tricks and stuff too.

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  2. Spawn sees the idea of breeding Goldfishes much more interesting than studying science at Oxford University.

    It was nice that Jasper James was looked at with reverence and admiration for a while. I would have looked at him with a blank look, followed by a healthy dose of confusion.

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    1. I agree with the Lil man although Goldfish are not good company, they dont say a lot and have the memory of a Goldfish. . . .

      I rather liked my bit of technical talk in that it sounded dead impressive. I tried to Google a bit of it and I did not understand any of the sites found so it must have been good.

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  3. I wonder IF the IF switch invention took place anywhere near Ipswich Suffolk UK.

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    1. Just for a sec I was confused. . . . I am easily confused and it has been a very long time since I went to Ipswich. . . . . . . I dont think its the most exciting place in the world.

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    2. I am now curious as to how you would sccurately measure the eXcitement level of a location. I would guess acoustic level modulations might be a start.

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    3. I am deeply sorry I was inaccurate in typing accurately accurately.

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    4. Oooo o o o interestingly one of the inventors invents the acoustic motor turning sound into motion. So a that would certainly help as it would equate to Watts

      Or lots of folk shouting What's that

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    5. Damn that has a spurious 'a' in it that should be ignored. When I say that I refer to the comment above not the that in this comment. . .

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