Monday, 6 April 2015
Edmond Eccles . . . . The A to Z of Slightly Strange Unknown Victorian Inventors and Explorers
Eccles was a dreamer an academic who spent his days in the British library, reading its vast array of books on the meaning of life. It was during one of his visits to the British Library that he met Esmeralda one of the library assistants. However she said she could never be with a man who was a dreamer and would only marry a man with practical skills who could deal with all that IKEA furniture. So to prove his worth Edmond Eccles invented the Eccles Environmental Elbow a device to reduce earthquake vibration in tall buildings and those new fangled iron railway bridges.
The device was a brilliant success and as an inventor Edmond Eccles was invited to join the Preposterous Club of Great Britain where he and His Bride to be met another inventor Mr Benjamin Braithwaite Browning where young Esmeralda unknown to Edmond Eccles had her head turned having been introduced to the Barometric Bellows.
It was only months later when the highly publicised court case of Mr Benjamin Braithwaite Browning and the socking revelations of the Barometric Bellows use by certain folk, that Esmeralda told
that she had in fact used the bellows herself several times during visits to
the Preposterous Club. This was too much
for Edmond Eccles and he bludgeoned Esmeralda to death with his own invention
the Eccles Environmental Elbow; as he was led away by the police later he was
heard to say Life has no meaning
which was rather ironic as he had spent fifteen years reading about the meaning
of life. Edmond
He was shown leniency by the judge who said, those Barometric Bellows are the work of the devil and he would have probably done the same thing so Edmond Eccles was sent to the colonies where he died in an earthquake after only a week of being there. . . . . . . . . It’s a funny old world.