Monday 26 January 2015

Fingernails . . . the Big Question Answered




Well I was asked a question in cyberspace the other day about fingernails, no not the nails you can buy to nail fingers to walls, but fingernails at the end of fingers.  I can’t remember the exact question (sorry Miss Lily) but it was all about their purpose and stuff. And this is an important question because it is not one that Charles Darwin or the Pope ever used in their epic battle of theory v theology.  One the Pope always used to win, but mainly thanks to the Spanish inquisition, folk never argued with the Spanish inquisition. As history has often told us religion can be a bit iffy in its methods of persuasion, anyway this a distraction from the issue of finger nails.

So let us consider fingernails in evolutionary terms what was there function and what are they. Well we know they are made of the same material as hair which explains why they grow constantly, but do they perform something useful like pointing. . . . Well NO.

You see man's nearest ancestor on Earth is the chimpanzee and they don’t do much with their fingernails either in fact in nature most critters don’t use fingernails. The main exception to this is cats, they have fingernails but they are known to us as claws. So this must mean that man and cats are closely related in some odd way, it can’t be a coincidence that they are one of man's closest domestic animals that share (or takes over) his house and life. Even both our main food sources originate from supermarkets.

So it appears that the primary evolutionary purpose of fingernails was to catch mice. This now defunct function in man however has been lingering in the subconscious of the human race for thousands of years and has been the driving force behind mans technological development as we worked relentlessly towards our new goal, the artificial mouse which has finally reached its pinnacle with the Optical Mouse as used in most homes to move that little cursor about on our computers. We are reconstructing the cat playing with its furry toy.


Theology has still never resolved the issue of fingernails and religion is still uncomfortable about why God created them.  If you ask the Pope about them he will raise two fingers in the air to show you his fingernails, shrug his shoulders and then say something to you in Latin which is best not translated.    

24 comments:

  1. Fingernails were actually invented by a young Austrian Gentleman called Fritz Naslezspurger back in 1724.

    Before this time it was only through the employment of street urchins with small home-made wooden 11-in-1 pointy sticks (patent pending)that the European aristocracy were able to pick dry bits of snot out of their noses.

    by the end of 1725 "Fritz Nasel's" were all the rage and everyone who was anyone had small, sharp additions to the end of their fingers and nose picking was no longer an issue.

    Over the years the name has changed in popular culture as it travelled across Europe and now the name is now more commonly known as Finger Nails.

    True Story.

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    1. Well I cant argue with that Mr H it appears to be exactly what Wikipedia says. In fact it appears to be word for word exactly what Wikipedia says after its latest update just a short time ago.

      I have to say if there is one thing this blog does it informs folk about stuff they would never find out anywhere else except one or two rather good blogs blogs of folk who I think write rather good blogs.. . . . Not that the general public at large read our blogs O NO they read rubbish stuff about minor celebs who take selfies with their cats. And they never explain that the cat is linked to us humans by genetics (or God) and that Fritz Naslezspurger changed the world of nose picking forever and destroyed a small but thriving street trade in nose clearance for the aristocracy.

      Youth of today are rubbish all that teenage boy band rubbish and X factor etc. and the older ones are no better Strictly Come Dancing, what ever happened to science stuff like Tomorrows World.

      And you wont find comments like this on the average blog either . . . We are genius's that we are, and proud of it......

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    2. They should bring back tomorrows world. They really should.

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  2. *wipes away tears of mirth from eyes, after reading comments by Mr H and Mr Z and walks away a very happy woman.*

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    1. Well that's what it is all about Miss Lily. the world needs more thinking along these lines. Particularly as poor old Greece is sort of doomed. the Middle East is sort of doomed. Here is Britain we have a press who are excited saying only 100 days till the election and Hey its going to snow loads, but not as bad as it is in American which is doomed. . .

      I feel it is my duty to have a cheery blog although I still have Man Flu a bit.

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    2. OOOooooooooo did I mention some folk not reading this blog are doomed so I think reading it might be a good idea. . . . . Just saying folk

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    3. Since you are increasing intellect through your discussions, you are both undumbing and undooming. If you could figure out the need for removing domes from society you could be undoming as weLL.

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    4. I am not sure about undoming it sounds like a . . . . . . . . . flat of fancy. . . . . . . to me. . . . . . . . HAH AH hah ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h ha ha ha ha h a

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    5. Maybe they wiLL make a movie about you, caLL it,
      'Undumb & Undumber'

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  3. Science is a wonder full thing. I need to learn some nail biology, especiaLLy since I own a nail salon.

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    1. Indeed Mr ESB this is a subject you should excel in. Maybe you could have a bring a pet day where the owner can have their nails done while the pet has its claws clipped. . . I bet that would boost publicity.

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    2. My wife has trimmed the fur of my son's dog Trixie.

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    3. Fur is like a defused nail . . . . . sort of . . . in a very abstract sort of way. . . .OK I lie.

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    4. 'Theology' - does that mean study of the word 'the'? Someone definitely needs to write an article about the.

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    5. Nail versus Fur

      Nail and fur are both made of keratin protein. Nail is made of beta-keratin, which are made primarily of sheets of protein whereas fur is alpha-keratin made mainly of helically coiled protein. They have a large amount of cysteine amino acid in the protein structure which has a sulfur which allows strong crosslinking S-S bonds, similar to vulcanized rubber. So the next time someone says, "I am tired of my hair style" you can remind them that tires and hair have something in common.

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    6. We are bringing Science to the masses in a way never done before . . . . I am very proud.

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    7. Once we start bringing the speed of light to the masses from two directions (squared) then we wiLL be turning them into e nergy.

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  4. Before my computer crashes, yet again, I had enough time to read your post and note it's up to scratch. You um nailed it with this one, good sir.

    Gary

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    1. Thanks Mr G and I do understand that slow computer issue more than would realize, hang in there.

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  5. I'm gonna be staring at my fingernails all night now, wondering why they're there. I'd never given it a moments thought before.

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    1. I'm sure they are there for a good reason, well OK maybe not.

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  6. This post brings back a memory of when I was traveling with a magic show. One of my jobs was to tend to the magic rabbits--cleaning the cages and such and feeding the little critters. Once when we had some open time we were laying low at a farm owned by the magician's sister. She had this grizzled old farmhand who tended to the place. One day he was watching me try to get caked on rabbit food out of the bottom of the feeding dish and he finally interjected with, "Use your fingernails!"

    I looked up at him incredulously since it seemed kind of disgusting to do that.

    And with a face that exuded the wisdom of a life of hard work he continued, "That's what God gave you fingernails for."

    At that moment it occurred to me how true this is. Fingernails are a tool meant for doing all sorts of things. I had always just thought of them as something to bite.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

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    1. Hello Mr B . . . . . it is good to see you passing by. This is an interesting use of fingernails and I suspect you would get some interesting looks from folk who said . . . .Your fingernails look a bit grubby what have you been up too. . . .and you reply . . . .cleaning out the magic rabbits. . . . Still things were different back then, folk were more in tune with stuff like that and we all remember the well known song White Rabbit played on the guitar using fingernails rather than a plain old plectrum. I bet that song would never be a hit in today's world. Its funny how stuff changes.

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