Tuesday, 4 November 2014

(The day of the Triffids) or Harry Potter Returns from the Dead . . . . . Part Four

Arriving at the quayside below the towering towers of Hogwarts Academy it was clear that it had suffered over the years and was in need of some repair. As they walked towards the building a voice in the distance behind them shouted

Har Har Har Make sure you have that book of your handy Master Higgs YOU'LL be needing it quite soon, raise the top sail me hearties it be time to plunder ye black swan HA HAH AH A HA HAH AH ha hhar har

What did he say Said Young Higgs

You will need your book said Alice In fact I think we need it right now. What on earth are those terrible walking plant things at the end of the Quay

I will look in the book of Fantastic Beasts and where to find them, that will tell us. . . . . . . . . . .AH that’s a bit of a nuisance

What is said Alice

I have accidently picked up the wrong book this is the Idiots guide to conservatory and greenhouse plants. . . DAMN

You are an Idiot Higgs what are we going to do now

Hang on funnily enough those beasts are in the book that is a stroke of luck . . . they are Triffids and the book says they hate salt and not suitable for most domestic greenhouses.

Where are we going to get salt from then?

Well as it so happens said Mr Teedy-dum and Mr Tweedy-dee we have loads, we use in our chicken pies and we always have ingredients to hand just in case a chicken should pass by. . . . or a Dodo.

The battle raged for what seemed like ages as the small band defended the end of the quay from the multitude of Triffids using the salt which they threw at the Triffids as they advanced.  The White rabbit however decided they tasted rather delicious and set about eating as many as possible and with the aid of his trusty and rather large flick knife destroyed most of them single handed. As the last two or three Triffids ran off into the Magic forest they climbed the long staircase up to the main door which very slowly and noisily opens up as they get closer.

Well Chaps this is it we have reached our destination said Young Higgs . . . Who is that over there

It looks like Professor Rubeus Hagrid said Alice.

As they walk across to see him and ask questions they can hear him mumbling and talking to himself

Knit one PURL one where has that seagull gone now, silly bird I have told him not to eat potions in the spells room. OOoooooo hello who are you lot then have you seen a seagull I am training him to be a wizard.

No we have come to restore Harry Potter back to life said Young Higgs,

AAAhhhhh I know that name Harry . . . yes he had Ginger hair and a big beard 


No was he the one with the limp and the mad look

No he was the grumpy one who kept getting into trouble and pretended to be all innocent.

AH yes I know you mean Harry Potter. He’s Dead you will not find him round here, His wand is in the Long Hall. You know the place where the incident with the cat and the glass jug happened.

Yes look I have the cat and the glass jug here. Said Young Higgs

AAAAAuuuuuuuuuuugghhhHHHH I better be off I’ll see you later.

With that Hagrid ran off unaware that a large seagull was standing on his head and the group led by Young Higgs headed towards the long hall. Where our story will reach its dramatic conclusion


Will Harry Potter live?

Will Alice and Hermione Granger get on?

Will Hogwarts return to the days of glory?

Will someone be eaten by the Jabberwocky?

Who is the mysterious man in the cupboard?

Will I be sued by JK Rowling for slightly nicking characters?

Will Steven Spielberg ever read this blog?

Will my typing improve?

What will be the next Big Question that needs answering?

Will I go to IKEA Tomorrow?

These and many other questions will probably not get answered in the last and gripping instalment of  . . . . Harry Potter Returns from the Dead . . . . coming to a cinema near you soon.

Maybe not today. Maybe Not tomorrow but AH DAMN . . . . . .Probably Never. . . but KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES.

NEXT the Grand Finale ALL IS REVEALED 

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