Thursday, 25 September 2014

Perpetual Motion Machines and Naked Charity Calendars analyzed . . .(PART 3)

As I stated yesterday, clearly the only form of Perpetual Motion Machine that is going to work is a Nano Sub Atomic Particle Perpetual Motion Machine, but it is never going to be any good on a nude charity calendar of Scientists and Perpetual Motion machines so ironically science is left with the only thing it can do and use those classic old Victorian Machines which although failing to perform as Perpetual Motion Machines do have a classic beauty that the working machine would lack. And they are just large enough to keep some modesty.  

However a terrible dilemma indeed for Science, as in order to produce the perfect calendar it is necessary to use a device that any scientist who knows their stuff would know does not work.  In particular the Newtonian Speak Your Weight Perpetual Motion Machine as demonstrated by our substitute nude Scientist, Miss Traction Engine 2014 winner of the Cleethorpes Spring Steam fair. . . . Scientists are never going to appear nude with a novelty machine like that.

As someone once said in a film about Science . . . . Beauty Killed the Beast . . . . . It appears Miss Traction Engine 2014 objected to the Newtonian Speak Your Weight Perpetual Motion Machine shouting out 15 stone 10 pounds. And I think I have now said more than enough on the subject and will now move on to new and as yet unknown questions of our time.  DAMN I need a new Question. . .

Ooooo I may have finally sorted a very troublesome computer, they can be stubborn things. I have noted my new idea looking at the great questions of our time is going down like a lead balloon with the punters, but I am not yet deterred, I just need a few popular issues to discuss. . . .I’m not good at popular, you should see me at parties.


  1. I think folks may be scared to ask as they might "I have a question but i bet everyone else already knows the answer but me and I'll look stupid"... So I'll step up to the plate and offer my questions:

    1: What is the weirdest thing one can do with a egg?

    2: Why are us Brits never able to see videos online from the USA due to "copy write issues" even though the company who made are showing on there own websites?

    3: Why isn't ITV1+1 just called ITV2

    4: At what point will reality TV become so lazy that we will be forced to replace our TV's with a mirror and just sit and watch that all day every day?

    Them's mine quandaries of our modern age.

    I'm sure somebody else can come up with something better.

    1. Hello Mr H, I think you are asking me hard questions I will need to go off and think about these. The problem is some of them I know little about, things like reality TV is a strange idea I have never come to terms with partly because its seems a bit unreal. And ITV well it has adverts I can't watch stuff with adverts unless I record it and start watching about twenty minutes later and fast forward the ads.

      Eggs I can see scope in that as you have kindly not mentioned what kind of eggs.

      Anyway I feel this might be a test of my skills at writing as I was unhappy with todays words of wisdom. But I can not mess about tweaking stuff and write and draw picture most days, so some days will be better than others I guess.

  2. Ooh, missed yesterday's post on account of being in A&E. (stupid chest infection) Might well end up back there after reading this. I think a part of my brain has concaved in upon itself. This is far too intellectual for a woman who thinks writing about her body parts is funny.

    1. There is reference to Naked Charity Calendars Miss Lily most of them do contain body parts. Hang on that sounds a bit suspect for some reason, When I say body parts the parts are generally connected together in the Nude Charity Calendars.