Sunday, 21 September 2014

Can Zombies Ride Bicycles. . . . . . . . (PART 2). . .

 As we have already discovered I like to ramble a lot. This was not helped by someone on the radio last night who said they loved twitter because it was short and to the point. But having had a think about this they are wrong where would The Ancient Mariner, Shakespeare or even my old arch enemy Harry Potter be if they were limited to 140 characters (as in letters spaces and the like not Long John Silver or Luke Skywalker). Which brings us neatly to the big Question . . .?

 Can Zombies Ride Bicycles

Well we can start from the point you never see Zombies on Bicycles, but this is certainly not proof of anything after all I could balance a poodle on my head but it is unlikely if ever to happen and to date has never been seen . . . . OK there was that one time but it does not count as the poodle was made of fibreglass.

As we know most Zombies did not start as Zombies but as straight forward every day folk from off the street. It is a common fact that of the 100% of people on the street a good 67% can ride a bicycle. This figure is much higher in certain countries where bicycles are still the main form of transport for the masses. So it is therefore logical to assume at least 80% of Zombies could ride bicycles prior to becoming a Zombie, the percentage is higher among Zombies because you are more exposed to Zombie attack on a bicycle than in a car or a submarine.

And despite popular belief Zombies limbs will not fall off if they try and move quick, it is one of those urban myths to reassure the public that it is safe to use buses.  Zombies are also quite strong and able to rip the arms and legs off folk with little effort so by selecting the correct gear they should be able to generate enough power to propel a bicycle with them on it.

The key and most important issue is balance and there is a famous and very reliable old saying that I think we can use to resolve things. . . . . . Its Like Riding A Bicycle. . .  Once Learnt You Never Forget.

So Can Zombies Ride Bicycles

The answer is clearly YES.  . . . . However they clearly can’t remember.   


  1. What CHAIN of events would lead to a Zombie trying to ride a bicycle? Would it get encouragement from the other zombies who would RALEIGH round and cheer him on by saying "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, TRICYCLE again!"
    hahahahahah - that's enough bad puns from me. I feel a little DEFLATED now! hahahahahahahahahahaha

    1. Now look here Mr H this is a serious issue and it needs to be dealt with in a serious way. We will have no more bicycle jokes. . The last thing I need is a chain reaction from folk getting all pumped up making me tyred. DAMN now look what's happened, it's your fault Mr H I have spoke to you about this before pedaling these subversive thoughts

  2. Your argument that Zombies are strong and resilient, is the same point that the Lil man made. But what does he know, he's certifiably insane.

    I still maintain that they cannot ride bicycles, because if we go by the images portrayed in the classic Zombie movies, we find that their limbs are stiff and unyielding, making it impossible for them to sit, never mind peddle. Mind you, their held aloft arms are in the right position for the handle bars.

    Thus concludes my argument. Damn, I really have had FAR too much coffee today.

    1. Miss Lily I think talk of Stiff unyielding limbs is not the sort of subject we should be discussing. even if such things impede the ability of a Zombie cycling (as in . . on a bike, not at the recycling centre with plastic bottles).

      I'm sure it is possible for them (Zombies not Bradley Wiggins) to ride a bicycle so I plan to ask one to try soon.