Wednesday 27 August 2014

The incredible health benefits of the Bacon Butty (the New Superfood)



It appears that the humble Bacon Butty is extremely good for you, not something I was expecting to learn as folk tend to say that they are bad. In general over the years what I have discovered is that almost any food that tastes really good, folk always say is bad for you. This can not be right, just look at nature, in nature birds, bears, rabbits, hedgehogs, snakes, in fact almost every other creature on the planet eats what it likes and does extremely well. This is how nature works life is programmed to eat the food we need by making it taste desirable, there is a simple and understandable logic to this if any critter is to thrive in the environment it lives in.

And this brings me back to the simple and humble but rather delicious Bacon Butty, you see I tend to eat a couple of these a week. I would eat more but I am not allowed so I make the most of the ones I have.  Now here in Britain there was some chap on the television who said that eating processed meat was not good for you and that eating a Bacon Butty meant you lived an hour less.

The thing is last week I had two Bacon Butty’s and at the end of the week someone said that as a result my life had reduced by two hours.  But I thought to myself . . . . Hang on I have been alive for the entire week and instead of my life reducing by a week it is only two hours shorter than it was at the start. That means if I eat two Bacon Butty’s every week it will take twelve weeks to reduce my life by 24 hours so a year is equal to 12 X 365 (weeks) or roughly 84 years. And as I have planned to be about for another forty years at least it means that I will in fact reach the staggering age of 3430 years old. Well that is amazing and it just proves that Bacon is jolly good for you and we should all eat more of it.  

Of course if any pigs are reading this I would just like to say it is not my fault, it is not good to evolve into a creature that makes such nice sandwiches and that extends our lives by more than three thousand years



..

18 comments:

  1. Thinking of pigs and pig looking animals, I was amazed to learn there is a hippo in a zoo that is a few years older than me. It has been there since it was two. I have been almost here since my son was two. Almost means I moved a few feet. I am sure that hippos in zoos must eat weLL. I have done quite remarkable since I was brought into captivity, although I think the DJIA has grown more than me. I am hoping that I outlive the hippo.... ... .. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't underständ your åge mâth pàrágrâph until I reãd it bāckwárds the second time. Then when I reäd it forwàrds àgàin my eár stárted hurting.

      Delete
    2. The Collie Walk video was delightful. It should win an Academy Award in the category, 'Best Short Dog Film'. I am not sure who should win the Best Tall Dog Film.

      Question: Do you think if a giraffe is on a boat it should be caLLed a 'giraft' by deault? Then the captain who is surprised by his cargo could say sternly, "There is a giraffe in the aft of my giraft!"

      Delete
    3. Typo: be caLLed a 'giraft' by default?

      Delete
    4. AH yes the maths it seems have confused folk here yet alone in cyberspace. I have had to explain that if someone implies your life has reduced by two hours after a week it is not a week and two hours but just two hours so effectively you age at a slower rate. in fact it takes 84 years to age a single year.

      It is a worry that maybe I have confused an entire world of bacon lovers who will now seek me out with pointy sticks shouting WITCH WITCH and stuff like that. I bet Einstein never had this problem with curved space and time and his prediction of the Black Pudding. .. . . Hang on that was Stephen Hawking, or was he the bloke in Treasure Island. DAMN this science its complicated.

      Delete
    5. I think we should eat the Giraffe a bit . . . . although it would fair well in a tall ship race as it is of a race of animal that would be tall in a ship.

      If we removed a bit of the Giraft say the G it would be an iRaft.

      Those are cool dogs (not hotdogs).

      Delete
    6. Iraft is a lake in the municipality of Arjeplog in Lapland (Sweden) included in Umeälven main basin. By the lake is the village Adlofsström. I am not sure about iRaft. I did discover that Giraft is an Indian movie from 1995.

      Delete
    7. I saw that people might outnumber giraffes by a factor of 90,000. I am not sure what the number of girafts has been, (ships that have ever carried a giraffe) so it might be difficult to get the giraft/raft ratio, or giraftio, as numerical insurance analysts at Lloyds of London would caLL it.

      Delete
    8. One of the things I always feel about comments on my blog is they often take on a rather unique feel. I am very proud of this it is one of the blogs finer achievements. But of course this would not be possible without the diverse and interesting followers the blog has . . . folk such as yourself Mr ESB (many thanks). maybe the lake iRaft is where Thor Heyerdahl got the idea to build an iRaft, although he had a parrot not a giraffe on board.

      Delete
    9. Oh Yes! I thoroughly enjoy coming over to your neighborhood and chatting away, we do have a good time creatively. It is a highlight(s) of my day.

      Delete
  2. That is great news! Since I plan on being immortal, I am going to set up an abattoir in my back garden, and pay people to shovel fresh bacon into my gaping maw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice idea but there may be planning issues.

      Delete
  3. So not only can a bacon butty stop wars, but is also the elixir of life!?!?! Fantastic news.
    I got a delivery of Lorne sausage the other week (convinced a real life reverend to smuggle some over the border before Scottish independence) I wonder if that will give me super human strength as well????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you will be a good superhero Mr H

      Is it a Bird (a roast chicken maybe), is it a plane (a plain roll) no its Bacon Bap Man....

      Delete
  4. A Bacon Butty can take hours off of my life? We're talking the crappy end of my life, right? The part of my life where I'm all shriveled up and pooping myself, probably abused by nurses in the elderly care home? Bring on the Bacon Butty!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Life is always good with a Bacon Butty in your hand. And a song in your head.

      Delete
  5. This is very good news, as I do love a good bacon butty. Come to think of it, I haven't had one in a while...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it is time to treat yourself to one

      Delete