Thursday 14 August 2014

A new colourful theory about Neanderthal man and the origin of Art




Last night as I struggled to draw something interesting like a mad dog eating a Vampire Lemming that had been distracted by the arrival of Mechanical Zombie Aliens riding giant Goats. The thought went through my mind that where did all this drawing stuff start. The reason I thought that was because my drawing was taking on a distinct prehistoric image, more dinosaur (the Fidosaurous) than dog. The earliest drawings of course being those of strange beasts on the walls of caves by Stone Age man some ten thousand plus years ago.

As I pondered this thinking why would they suddenly do this (draw and paint on cave walls), after all Lions and Bears don’t, I had this sudden flash of genius. You see if you look at the last few ancient tribes that live in the world today, one of the things they like to do is dress up in costume and paint their faces and bodies.  Most folk even now like a good party or carnival and will paint their faces and dress up in fancy dress and feathers at the drop of a hat.

So it is a small step from covering yourself in paint and leaping about with your mates to using the paint on the walls of your cave to cheer it up a bit. . . . . This may not sound very exciting but it is, because what it implies is early Neanderthal man was not just a hairy club carrying grey sort of chap, but was a colourful and bright chap with each tribe doing its own distinct thing to distinguish it from its rivals.


Now some of you will be saying that is all well and good but so what . . . . . Well I am letting the world know of my theory of the origin of Art and the shock news that the very early ancestors of mankind were in fact a jolly colourful bunch. . . . By announcing this now I should be in time to get some sort of award before the end of the year, something shiny with my name on it is large letters. . . . . A Nobel Prize for History would be good, to go with the one for Science. . . .   

9 comments:

  1. Wow, great drawering!

    I think a Noble Prize in Pudding would be good, too. But only once every six or seven years. I think that is about how long the time period is for me eating pudding, about once per six years. I forget about pudding and if there was a prize I would get aLL eXcited and maybe eat it once every 3 years. So on a world wide basis that might mean an extra billion pudding servings per year which might reduce global warming and increace world peace.

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    1. When you say in Pudding, I think the prize might be a bit big to get in a pudding. . . . . AH HA HA HAH AH HAH ah ha hhah ahha hahah ha ah ah ahahah ah hah ah ah ah ahahaah ha.

      A good plan for world peace but i can see folk would only argue about which pudding to have.

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    2. Today's dumb joke: Do you know which government agency is responsible for regulating loan activity for donkeys?

      The Burro Borrow Bureau

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    3. I got to visit your blog when the counter was at 122444. I feel so mathematicaLLy blessed. I should reaLLy wake up com-plete-l-Y before typing into my computer in the morning ... Notice how I am stretching the Y, ahhh, feeling better now, maybe.

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    4. It will soon read 123456.

      Sometimes I feel stretched when I think why. . . . . .

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    5. I think based on a simple ratio of then, now and future, it should hit 123456 at 10:30 AM on August 25th, your time zone, if I did the math correctly.

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    6. it means we can have a countdown 6543210.

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  2. Can you imagine if Banksy was around during the stone age? The Neanderthals would have expressed their amusement at the political statements made with the depiction of child eating sabre-tooth tiger burgers, simply by muttering "Ug". Their language was sophisticated yet simple.

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    1. Banksy would have been famous back then demand for a Banksy painted cave would be huge. He would have become the Neanderthal Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen of cave design. The ROCK star of the times (ROCK HAH AH HA HAH AH HA HAH H HAH HAh ah ah ha hah ah ah ah ah hha ha ha ha)

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