Monday, 7 July 2014

A quiet day

I have had a quietish day today which involved two wheels, a long device that cuts things, but it refused to start,  a few hungry goldfish I am trying to turn into the longest goldfish in the world and a man who said I could have 17 tyres. 

However I am also somewhat tired (not tyred) so I have decided to do what I did the other night and recycle an old post. I have written over one thousand posts so a bit of recycling is a cunning trick. Lets face it at least fifty percent of all television is recycled and no one complains, OK yes everyone complains but it still happens so it will still happen here.

So here we have an old fairy tale one I wrote when I was desperate as nothing had happened that day and I just started typing as I do sometimes (OK always). . . Well I mean who really knows what they are going to write before they write it. . . . NO one  . . . . NO I dont believe you, you make it up just like me.

Ooooo yes I have to collect President Putin tomorrow.

Ooooooooo again. . . . It appears that while I have been typing this, a car has crashed and rolled at the end of our drive. I have just been up to see what happened but the fire engine police ambulance and all the neighbours are there so I have returned home.  I never heard a thing and only a phone call and lots of blue lights alerted us to the events. But there are lots of folk there and one more spectator is not required.  

My Trusty White Falcon 

 The Greatest Fairy Tale of all time
Icy Black and the Seven Giants

Once upon a time there was a grumpy young prince called Icy Black who would wander about the castle of his step-father the King muttering and complaining at crows and seagulls and some of the servants; who would say things like if you grump like that young master Black the wind will change direction and you will be grumpy for life and look like a big Frog. Prince Icy Black would always shout GOOD and stamp about until someone gave him ice cream to keep him quiet. His step-father, King Arthur had a large round table (a talking table) and each day he would ask it table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all, and the table would always say KING ARTHUR.

Then as Prince Icy Black got older he started to really get on the nerves of everyone with his constant grumpiness and then one day when King Arthur said table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all the table said Boris the Greengrocer, the King was shocked and asked the table why and of course it was because after nineteen years of grumpiness Prince Icy Black was making everyone unhappy. 

The King thought OK I have had enough of this and sent Prince Icy Black into the forest and gave the nod to the knights to sort of chop his head off. But once in the forest Prince Icy Black complained so much the knights forgot about killing him and stuck cotton wool in their ears and ran back to the castle.

Then as it got dark and prince Icy Black was moaning he was cold and hungry he came across a huge house, as he pushed the door open he was confronted by seven giants who looked at him and complained and grumped for at least an hour about strangers turning up and leaving doors open and not wearing matching shoes.

It turned out that the seven giants were even grumpier than Prince Icy Black which made him very happy so it was a bit of a shock several weeks later when King Arthur asked the round table table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all the table said Prince Icy Black. Everyone at the castle thought O NO he might come back so a plot was hatched and an apple was laced with a magic sleeping potion and one of the knights returned to the forest where he made a tower of five apples outside the house of the seven giants. Of course Prince Icy Black could not resist saying he was going to eat the bottom apple destroying the tower, but as he did so he fell asleep and snored really loudly.

When the seven giants returned from their day job of guarding a small village from a group of Japanese samurai bandits they thought, we cant cope with all that snoring so put Prince Icy Black in a sound proof glass box in the woods.  As time passed everyone lived happily until one day a passing princess saw Prince Icy Black and thought Ooooooo I know I will kiss him, and all in an instant he turned into a huge frog and got in a right strop leaping about shouting, so the princess ran off. After chewing a few flies Prince Icy Black thought I know I will go and see King Arthur he will be pleased to see me.

The End . . . . . . . . . . . . Or is it


  1. I legitimately believe you have over a thousand posts. That's mind blowing. But if you're counting these re-posts, that number is suspect. If you're the seven giants, why bother with magic potions and not just move on to straight-up murder? So you're not a murderer, you're a date rapist (you know they diddled the prince before putting him in the box)? Good for you, creepy giants.

    1. I only have three re-posts as it has only happened in the last week or so due to being busy and rather tired.... the exact number of posts is 1175 including this one.

      The world of fairy tales is complex, giants never do things logically. . . . . . . diddled the prince . . . . . I think not this is a child friendly blog. . . well sort of friendly-ish

  2. Re-post? I couldn't find the original. I was going to re-issue my old comments, so they would be recomments. I guess the process of issuing a recomment is a recommentation.

    1. I will have a check and see what you said. . . . If I can find the original myself.

    2. OK Mr ESB I have found the original comments and have pasted them in below, starting with your first comment.

      For the fun of it, I am reading this blog post paragraph by paragraph in random order. So that means I wiLL most likely read some paragraph(s) more than one time before I am finished.


      esbboston7 October 2013 13:22
      Since you wiLL be gone for a long time I am pacing myself and only reading one paragraph per day. I was thinking about not eating until you return, but then I thought, utt ohh, what if he dies while on his great journey or kidnapped and held in slavery in a cold dark underground moldy Ch_nese factory, cranking out ultra modern Apple iPxxxx products, then I would die of starvation instead of rescuing Rob from the evil grasp of The Sino Overlords. It can be a movie where some dwarf plays the part of me, say Tom Cruise, and somebody like that guy from Star Wars that I can't remember what his name is but initials are HF can play the part of Rob, unless you want someone else in which case I would need someone else, or maybe even two someones. Would that be 'sometwo' for the double? I am hungry now, time for breakfast in Texas ...


      Rob Z Tobor12 October 2013 18:56
      I have returned Mr ESB. . . . .

      I was rather hoping that David Tennant would play the part of me as he is slightly eccentric and from Scotland. And would make a brilliant RZT.


      esbboston12 October 2013 22:26
      I didn't know who he is, so googling him, I typed 'David ' then just as soon as I typed a T he was the top choice so that would make him an acceptable choice, plus the Scottish connection, and the Dr Who eXpperience. I am glad you are back as my life has been completely on hold in a comatose hibernating manner awaiting your return. Hhaahhaahhaa, not reaLLy! We have been busy getting ready for our new toy, the embroidery machine, on late Monday. We are also studying lasers. But now it is time for coffee, post-nap and post-buffalo burger.


      Rob Z Tobor13 October 2013 13:19
      When you say lasers do you mean laser cutters, laser printers or a huge death ray to take over the world.

      As it happens for reasons I am not allowed to tell about huge death lasers just do not work on Earth due to atmosphere problems. So don't go for that option unless you are planning to use it in space.


      esbboston13 October 2013 13:53
      Cuting with lasers. In other words: making cute things

      There would be the occasional cutting.

      I am busy first with the embroidery machine, star ting tomorrow. Tomorrow seems like a good time to start because it has the word row in it and I think there is a tendency to have rows of things string.


      Rob Z Tobor13 October 2013 22:49
      Good luck with the new machine and your new ideas on string theory . . . .

      Cute is good there is money in cute things....

    3. How funny you are! I was confused for a second because when the screen refreshed on the browser I have to scroLL up from the bottom of the web page, so I was surprised then finaLLy read enough to figure out what you had done or at least what I think you had done which, who knows, maybe I am dreaming that this is hap pen ning.

  3. How exciting! Seven giants rolled their car on black ice at the bottom of your driveway?! And Arthur King makes recycled tables out of tires. I'm pretty sure I've got that right. I've been practicing a new speed reading technique wherein you simply read every fifth sentence and then backtrack and read every other word from the skipped sentences to make a comprehensive narrative.

    1. Hello Mr Flip . . . Yes I missed the comment . . . . I was speed reading. Its good but it has issues, which ironically is what folk say about me.