Monday, 7 July 2014
A quiet day
I have had a quietish day today which involved two wheels, a long device that cuts things, but it refused to start, a few hungry goldfish I am trying to turn into the longest goldfish in the world and a man who said I could have 17 tyres.
However I am also somewhat tired (not tyred) so I have decided to do what I did the other night and recycle an old post. I have written over one thousand posts so a bit of recycling is a cunning trick. Lets face it at least fifty percent of all television is recycled and no one complains, OK yes everyone complains but it still happens so it will still happen here.
So here we have an old fairy tale one I wrote when I was desperate as nothing had happened that day and I just started typing as I do sometimes (OK always). . . Well I mean who really knows what they are going to write before they write it. . . . NO one . . . . NO I dont believe you, you make it up just like me.
Ooooo yes I have to collect President Putin tomorrow.
Ooooooooo again. . . . It appears that while I have been typing this, a car has crashed and rolled at the end of our drive. I have just been up to see what happened but the fire engine police ambulance and all the neighbours are there so I have returned home. I never heard a thing and only a phone call and lots of blue lights alerted us to the events. But there are lots of folk there and one more spectator is not required.
My Trusty White Falcon
The Greatest Fairy Tale of all time
Icy Black and the Seven Giants
Once upon a time there was a grumpy young prince called Icy Black who would wander about the castle of his step-father the King muttering and complaining at crows and seagulls and some of the servants; who would say things like if you grump like that young master Black the wind will change direction and you will be grumpy for life and look like a big Frog. Prince Icy Black would always shout GOOD and stamp about until someone gave him ice cream to keep him quiet. His step-father, King Arthur had a large round table (a talking table) and each day he would ask it table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all, and the table would always say KING ARTHUR.
Then as Prince Icy Black got older he started to really get on the nerves of everyone with his constant grumpiness and then one day when King Arthur said table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all the table said Boris the Greengrocer, the King was shocked and asked the table why and of course it was because after nineteen years of grumpiness Prince Icy Black was making everyone unhappy.
The King thought OK I have had enough of this and sent Prince Icy Black into the forest and gave the nod to the knights to sort of chop his head off. But once in the forest Prince Icy Black complained so much the knights forgot about killing him and stuck cotton wool in their ears and ran back to the castle.
Then as it got dark and prince Icy Black was moaning he was cold and hungry he came across a huge house, as he pushed the door open he was confronted by seven giants who looked at him and complained and grumped for at least an hour about strangers turning up and leaving doors open and not wearing matching shoes.
It turned out that the seven giants were even grumpier than Prince Icy Black which made him very happy so it was a bit of a shock several weeks later when King Arthur asked the round table table,table in the hall who is the happiest of them all the table said Prince Icy Black. Everyone at the castle thought O NO he might come back so a plot was hatched and an apple was laced with a magic sleeping potion and one of the knights returned to the forest where he made a tower of five apples outside the house of the seven giants. Of course Prince Icy Black could not resist saying he was going to eat the bottom apple destroying the tower, but as he did so he fell asleep and snored really loudly.
When the seven giants returned from their day job of guarding a small village from a group of Japanese samurai bandits they thought, we cant cope with all that snoring so put Prince Icy Black in a sound proof glass box in the woods. As time passed everyone lived happily until one day a passing princess saw Prince Icy Black and thought Ooooooo I know I will kiss him, and all in an instant he turned into a huge frog and got in a right strop leaping about shouting, so the princess ran off. After chewing a few flies Prince Icy Black thought I know I will go and see King Arthur he will be pleased to see me.
The End . . . . . . . . . . . . Or is it