Sunday 18 May 2014

R is for Rut

I have been busy today making a rut. . . . . Yes a rut, not a hut. And there are good reasons for this that I’m sure folk will agree with. You see us human beings are creatures of habit. Folk may say they are not and they like to be spontaneous and non conformist, but there is much myth in this, and like all creatures that like to live in large colonies, some of which bear (or bare) a striking resemblance to a termite mound, we are rather predictable. Some folk may find this depressing, but it is biologically built into our DNA because if we all went off doing spontaneous stuff all the time the world would fall into anarchy and chaos. Much like a termite hill would if all the worker termites decided to take up water polo or making models of Elvis. 



However there is one thing I am always told that should not befall us, and that is to get into a rut, this is a sort of valley which means it is difficult to get out of like a model scalextric racing car on its track. Which would imply that once you are travelling very fast you will suddenly fly off and hit the bookcase? I have a feeling this may have happened to me once, but I was unaware of the reason at the time.


But in a moment of genius today where I remembered that Baldrick in the last of the Black Adder series set in WW1 decided that if he was to scratch his name on a bullet and hang on to it he would know where the bullet with his name on was and so would be safe.  So today I thought to avoid the risk of getting in a rut I would make the rut where I could plainly see it and avoid falling into it. I also thought some sharp bends would held just in case so if I do fall in I can run at speed and fly out of the rut in the sharp corner and hit the bookcase again.  I built the rut on the front lawn which is (was) nice and flat where I can easily see it to avoid falling in. It has obviously impressed the entire family who when they saw my efforts left them totally speechless, muttering stuff about IDIOTS and spades. I have explained it needs more work and a man with a mini-digger to really turn it into something really memorable a sort of Grand Canyon of Ruts. It is clear they totally agree as they sort of nodded and pointed at it a lot.

11 comments:

  1. Hello Mr Z. I was going to write m usual nonsensical rubbish but there's a large hairy thing in the living room and I don't mean Spawn, (though he is rather hairy) So now I need to rush about whilst screaming hysterically and throwing my hands in the air, whilst reaching for my trusted Electrolux 2000.

    The Rut looks like a duck btw.

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    1. One day Miss Lily you will learn to embrace those large hairy things with both hands and make friends.

      I have a feeling that may get misread, but this is a child friendly blog so maybe not. . . . .

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    2. I'm always on my best behaviour when I'm here Mr Z. *Smiles like an angel*

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  2. I notice you have used a lot of thought and forward planning with this Rob. There is nothing worse than being chased by an angry wasp in the garden and having to step off the path into the mud or ruin the grass.
    Now you don't have too!
    Just follow the path in a curved fashion and HEY PRESTO! wasp sting avoided.

    clever man!

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    1. Indeed although Wasp sting avoidance is not the primary function of the rut and tomorrow a mini digger will turn up to start phase two.

      I will be returning to the subject of the rut soon, but it needs to progress a little first.

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  3. I think it's a brilliant idea. You'll always know where your rut is to avoid it :)

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    1. Strangely I woke up this morning to find a dead mouse in the rut that I assume one of our cats killed. . . . So the mouse really was stuck in a rut.

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  4. I think I knew someone named Rutland a long time ago. Of course including the land with the Rut in the name is kinda redundant, as a Rut in water is just a wave and is rather non-stationary and transient. So Rutland as a name could probably be just Ruts. I am glad for rutimentary knowledge.

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    1. Sorry, that should have ended with "I am glad for your rutimentary knowledge." I am not certain I have any.

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    2. Rutland was the Smallest County in England at one time buy most of it vanished when a new dam was built. I can't remember which county it is part of now, it was a long time ago.

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    3. I found the county and it appears to be a county "again" but I wasn't sure. It appears that there are a bunch of different kinds of counties, but that makes sense when you think how old the government structures are. They could probably be at the top of the list of counties that have lost land area on a percentage basis due to the construction of man made reservoirs. There might be county type structures in places like China where they built that huge dam that may have swallowed up whole counties.

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