Thursday, 15 May 2014

O is for Obsessively Observing the Outstanding Odysseys of the Open Oceans.

As we know from yesterday’s story Poor old Captain Nigel Nash became haunted by the stories of Sir Napier Winky Knapsack and started to become bitter and twisted and would wake up in the middle of the night shouting . . . .  A Double Winky Burger with cheese and eyes sorry I mean fries. . . . . .  It was more that an old sea dog could take, and so he decided to return to his Ship the Nautilus and Venture out into the ocean to explore the great unknown.  With him this time was a young artist called Oswald Offwhite who was rather good at drawing large fish. It would not be unreasonable to say young Oswald was obsessed with the creatures of the ocean and his one big chance in life, a commission to paint the portrait of HRH the Queen was a disaster when the final work turned out to look the spitting image of a turbot. Yes the Queen was well known for spitting all over the place but it was never mentioned yet alone painted on a fifteen foot by seventeen foot portrait, even if folk said it was a remarkable likeness and made them feel like having a fish supper down by the old docks.

AH DAMN I got slightly distracted.

 Captain Nash and his crew sailed off into the sunset for many years having many many adventures fighting pirates and large monstrous beasts while young Oswald Offwhite obsessively drew the outstanding odysseys of the open oceans in minuet (sorry minute)  detail.  Many of these strange beasts had never been seen before and Oswald (known to the crew affectionately as Doris) would accurately record them in his works. The originals of his work are still a prized position of the Natural History Museum to this day.

Then on 15th May in the year of thingya time ago they just happen to stumble upon the thought to be extinct Dinosaur  . . The Aardvarkasaurus Wrecks  . . . . so called because of the rumours of its destruction of many a ship. It was a huge sea creature but they were able to capture the beast and return to England, well I say England, Captain Nash actually arrived in Inverness. This was slightly wrong but it did mean they were able to net off a small part of Loch Ness for the Aardvarkasaurus which became a great tourist attraction making Captain Nash, Doris sorry Mr Oswald Offwhite and the crew of the Nautilus very famous.

However the Aardvarkasaurus escaped into the deep of Loch Ness and despite attempts to catch it, it had become wise to the ways of man and except for the occasional rumour of sightings has never been seen again for certain. . . . . . 


  1. I'm not sure if I want to know the reason why Oswald Offwhite, was known as Doris by the rest of the crew.

  2. Is this the screemplay for the movie Godzilla that is fiXing to come to the theatre? I think that movie has the Bad guy Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad, so potentially it has two monsters in it.