Sunday 11 May 2014

K is for Konfusing Kites (I know it's Sunday we dont do the A to Z on Sunday . . . . in May?)



As many of you know I live right on the edge of Wales these days just a stones throw away from the border in the Shropshire rolling hills (I have never seen them roll but I am told they do).  Many moons ago well a while back it was decided that the Red Kite should be reintroduced to Mid-Wales and so a breading (Breed . . . sorry Mr ESB I blame qwerty keyboards) program was started.  However few people know the tale of the confused kites.

You see back when this happened there was a lot of cross border activity between English and Welsh conservationists, which would normally be fine, but stuff can get confused in translation. Welsh conservationists like to speak Welsh, not the cursed imported tongue of the Heathen English Devil folk. But translating between English and Welsh can have all sorts of little subtle anomalies which can change things rather radically. So when the Welsh conservationists first asked their English counterparts if they minded sending a few kites over in some boxes; and the English said they had loads of spare ones and it was not a problem . . . .  they were very happy. However they were not so happy when a few days later a large box arrived full of Box Kites, well when I say not happy, Evans the Kite was as happy as Larry, he liked Box kites and spent many a happy day on the beach at Aberystwyth larking about. You can see how Evans the Kite got his name and got fired.

Of course the Welsh got rather upset and called the English Conservationists Heathen English Devil folk and said they wanted to breed kites and reintroduce then to the wild. But the English did not take kindly to being called Heathen English Devil folk so send another two boxes to the Welsh . . . . . . One said MALE and the other FEMALE, the Welsh got all excited again but when they opened the boxes they were full of Box Kites and a small note saying  . . . . GOOD LUCK . . .HA HAH AH HAH AH HA HAH HA HAH AH HAH AH Hah a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ahah ah ah ah ahha ha hahaha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha.

It all got out of hand for a while and several unsuspecting English bird watches had their Welsh Hides burnt to the ground, but it was sorted in the end and now Red Kites have successfully reintroduced themselves to Wales. In fact they are so successful they are all over the DAMN place and just recently the Welsh Box Kite Association (Life President . . . Evans the Kite) complained they keep attacking their Box Kites in some sort of petty revenge for something that was not the fault of the Box Kites. Sadly box Kites still don’t breed in Wales and sightings are incredibly rare, partly due to vengeful Red Kites. 


Ooooooooooo yes I’m still having a few problems with that door. It is to put it bluntly Unhinged . . .HAH AH HA HAH AH HA HAH AH Hahh a hahah ah ah ha ha haha hahah ah ahha ha ha ha hah.   

19 comments:

  1. I can imagine this as one of those BBC4 programmes. "The Strange Tales Of Rob Z Tobor."

    Lil man, who is becoming not so very little, has just spent a sad amount of time, reading aloud all the HAHs and the ahhas and is finding it extremely amusing...freak.

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    1. That was funny. HAHAHAhahahahaha.

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    2. YO, the Lil man . . . . not many folk would read the AH AH HAH ahah aha haha hah h ah hah ah aha hah hah haha.....zzzzzz they will skip over them like they are unimportant.

      But I bet Sherlock Holmes would read them all, and say these are in code, this man is a spy communicating with a man out on the moor who in turn is sending courier Red Kites (Pigeons are too obvious) to a submarine just of the coast of Aberystwyth . . . . . . . . .DAMN that was a secret. . . .

      Quick eat the Kite . . . . NO not the box kite.

      (Comments on this blog are cooler than other blogs)

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    3. Oooooo yes take note BBC4 . . . . I think Miss Lily has a good point.

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    4. (I am wondering how difficult it is to get the right number of ha's spoken and I thought the construct "has ha's" needs to be used more often by everone.)

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  2. Maybe you could use the spare box kite parts and replace the door with a lightweight version thereof. The box kites, not the red kites, that would be inhumane, and loud, and your door would disappear for parts of the year when kites migrate. Do Kites migrate? Red Kites not box ones.

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    1. I think the kites just hang about all year Mr Flip. . . . . . . .HAH AH HA HAH HA HAHH AH AH HA HAH HA HAH AH HA HAH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ha.

      Like the idea with the door, I will Rook into it. HA HAH AH HA HAH HA HAH HA HA HAHHH HA HAH AH HA haha ha ha ha ha

      Sorry the Lil man thats a lot a HAH's and Ha's

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  3. I think this blog is descending into madness . . . . . . . .WELL COOL.

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    1. descending? I thought it was your point of origin ... Hahahahaha, enjoyment reigns supreme.

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    2. You make a good point Mr ESB. As the old saying goes. . . . . . You dont have to be made to Blog Ear but it helps. . . . . . Luckily I have never drawn an ear.

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  4. Since there was anger involved, it was truly cross breading. But I am not sure what bread and kites have to do with each other, so I wiLL have to take your word for it. Perhaps they were hot cross puns, I mean, buns.

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    1. Bread and Breed are things I get wrong all the time. . . Not in a physical sense as that could be awkward in a restaurant, but in a spelling way. Although to tell the truth I get many words wrong in terms of spelling.

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    2. Oh, there was mispelling, that eXplains things misterious and compelling and complex.

      I must go check to see if my grapes survived the cold night.

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    3. Good Luck with the Grapes they are not keen on the cold. . . . As you know Mr ESB, me and spelling go together like Breed and Buttter

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  5. Hi Rob - I think it's descended .. I can't get a word in between the Ha Ha Ha Haaaas .... excellent news about the Red Kites .. the bird type ones, not the paper thingies ...

    I had not taken on board you were up in Shropshire .. now I know! Loved your letters for the A-Z and your creative take on life ... I shall be around ..

    Cheers Hilary

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    1. Shropshire is a grand place indeed but so is Wales. I spend much time in both. . . Good to see you passing you are always welcome

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    2. I found a teleBision series where British celebrity Stephen Fry wanders about parts of the United States. It is on Netflix. I just discovered that I know someone whose birthday is almost eXactly halfway between Fry and Laurie. I am a fan of each of them.

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    3. They do have a dry wit, I have seen the TV series of which you talk. I think Stephen Fry when on a diet on his return to Britain, he did rather enjoy the food.

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    4. I have only watched most of one episode, the one about the southeast region. I had thought of eXploring smaLL towns around Texas.

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