Tuesday 8 April 2014

Goats and Toasted Ghee

The Greatest A to Z  
Aardvark based Nonsense Poetry in the World 



A
Poetry is easy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . or so some say
So through the ALPHABET . . . . . .I will play
Starting right here . . . here with the letter A
AND a rather silly nonsense poem, to end the day.

So to the distant sound of a mad dogs bark.
I’ll start AT the start with thee AARDVARK.
AH

DAMN.


B
The BEE and the BEAR met a BEAVER
Who looked rather aggressive with a large meat cleaver?
He shouted be gone, BACK off, and leave me BE
I’m BUSY chopping down, this BIG tree.

So the BEE he BUZZED and the BEAR he growled
And a BANSHEE somewhere BEHIND them howled
And that then made the mad dog BARK
Then what turned up BUT another Aardvark
AH

DAMN (again)


C
Here we are by the C
All blue and wavy and a little wet maybe
With CATERPILLARS CUTE and CUDL-EEE. . . (No its not CHEATING)
And we all run about on the COUNT of three.
As CRABS and CATFISH play in the bay
Or so the gnarled old Seadogs do say
But Seadogs are mad and tend to bark
Arousing the monstrous Sea Aardvark

O NO

AAAAauuuuuuuuuuugggghhhHHHHH

D
DID the DODO DIE out or was it a DECEPTION
To avoid meeting Great DANES at a posh reception
Because all they do is shout and bark
So is the DODO now DISGUISED as a smallish Aardvark

And does your DOG get up with the lark
And chase sticks about in the park
And is it mad and tend to Bark
Annoying the park keepers trusty old and loyal Aardvark

E
When an ELEPHANT meets an ELECTRIC EEL
There is bound to be a noisy squeal
As one beast gets squashed by the others heel
And  . . . . . . . (slight pause and wait)
Creates a huge ten thousand volt Arc
Which is the sort of voltage that will make a dog bark
Or light up they EYES of an adult Aardvark.

Out in the deserts of his favourite park.


F
They say it’s the FAULT of the barking dog
That made the FROGS FLEE into the FOG
And made the FISHERMEN turn to grog
While FLYING FISH FLUTTER over a FLOATING log
And Yet
The constant sound of mad dogs Barks

Results in the thundering hoofs of stampeding Aardvarks 


G
Always look closely at an F or G
Just in case it should be the image of thee
With a sacrifice of Goat and toasted Ghee
While witch doctors dance round . . . . . .  the sacred tree.
Shaking gourds  . . . . . . . and Grannies old Knee

And it’s good to know if GHOULS creep about in the dark(zzzzzzzz)
Your faithful dog always loudly barks
Alerting a flock of man eating Aardvarks
Who will eat the ghouls just for larks



Gosh

12 comments:

  1. Man eating aardvarks? I'm scared now. :)

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    Replies
    1. All I can say is it will all end well (I of course refer to well as in not poorly rather than a well you put a bucket in to get water).

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  2. Peeking in at the poetry. Curioser and curiouser... :) Happy A to Z-ing

    The Immarcescible Word

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for calling by. I have started to lose the plot now as to what I'm doing. . .

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    2. Oooo hang you are doing a follow too that is a bit of a shock folk normally run off.

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  3. where can I get a flock of man-eating aardvarks because I'm pretty sure my life will not be complete until I acquire one

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    Replies
    1. I think you need a licence first, and they dont house train well

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  4. I forgot to teLL you I had a recent project where I had to convert a bunch of corporate logos to monochromatic white ink onto black background for a silk screen printing. Your art made me think about it. I was surprised by how small print could be made and stiLL readable on cloth.

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    Replies
    1. Hello Mr ESB I am just about to head off to bed, it is rather late here and I have three laptops to look at tomorrow and make them operator friendly. It would be easier if the users were PC friendly mind you.

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  5. Everybody is focusing on the man eating aspect of the Aardvarks (negative connotation) and not the ghoul eating one (positive one). I think those aardvarks are downright helpful. Unless that's your damn English accent and they're eating GIRLS. Really bad. Unless they ask first.

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  6. Alert! Alert! I just learned that the genus for the aardvark is Orycteropus - and do you see what is hidden there? Octopus ... We should be veRy afraid.

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