Saturday 1 March 2014

The Curse of Twitter, the A to Z and World War three

Well doesn’t time fly, it is St Davids Day today in Wales although as I am one mile over the border now I don’t see him as much. Although I will be in Wales later doing things. . . . I am writing a bit of this diary early, so it is possible things I say I am going to do will already be done and dusted by the time anyone reads this in three weeks time.



Last night I did a foolish thing indeed, something I have not done before and I suspect will not do again, I attempted to join in with a Twitter group chat all about the forthcoming blogging A to Z event. Well what can I say except it entirely scrambled my brain and made me look a mad gibbering idiot who knows nothing? OK some will I suspect nod knowingly and agree. The reason for this is simple my diary is a flurry of jumbled words that hopefully some of the time make sense, I like words even though I cant spell, type, use punctuation correctly and possibly put them together in an odd order. But Twitter is not a friend of words and punctuation it is all about short concise little bits of text that are short and to the point, and I hate that. What would Shakespeare have thought if he was limited to 140 characters (not as in folk like Hamlet or Richard the Third but as in a space or a letter or a squiggly thing). You see for my diary or any other cyber location of myself Rob Z Tobor, to have the true essence of me I need far more words.  All I can say to those who witnessed my Who? What? Why? . . . . . . .Seagulls? What again? Help? attempts at keeping up with the flurry of tweets is, I just cant think that fast . . . . . . it was hell.

I notice in the real world folk are starting to shout at one another over a place called the Crimea (part of the Ukraine), I just hope they are not doing it using Twitter or it will all go horribly wrong. Now I don’t know about you lot but only a few weeks ago if someone had shown me a map of the world and told me to point at the Crimea I would have been at a loss as to know where it was. I might have pondered North Africa or the like but I suspect I would have put in entirely in the wrong place and got it entirely the wrong shape. 

Anyway as we all know Russia have sort of moved in to save it from the nasty westernised Ukrainians who are, as the Russians have put it, are all terrible right wing fascist extremists. Well; we are like that in the West, as is plainly clear from my decadent bourgeois diary here in cyberspace. Their decision to do this appears to have surprised the governments of the west who even as I type are protesting. This slightly surprises me after all Crimea is the main strategic harbour of the entire Russian fleet and well to think they would be happy to have it run by folk they used to think of as the enemy (us) is rather silly. It is a bit like American handing Pearl Harbour over to Japan and saying you can look after it as long as you don’t mind the odd ship popping in and out. . . . . . . .  Anyway what is the worst that can happen . . . . . .World War Three . . . . . . .AH DAMN.


Maybe we should just let Russia have the Crimea back even most folk living there would be happy with that, and the rest of Ukraine can join us and complain about the Euro and weather.

16 comments:

  1. Wait a second, did you equate yourself with Shakespeare in this post? I'm not above a bit of self-aggrandizing, so I applaud you slipping that in.
    I feel as though I must defend Twitter and its usefulness. It can help a writer to choose words more carefully and recognize the importance of an economy of words. I think Shakespeare would have loved Twitter. He would have created masterpieces of miniature poetry or flourishes of insults. It's a different medium than a novel or a blog and I firmly believe you could adapt your talents to fit in their parameters. Also, Twitter is great for revolutions. It was invaluable to the Arab Spring and I bet the Ukrainians could really use it to their advantage as well.
    Finally, happy St. David's Day.

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    1. I am sure twitter must be good, a billion folk cant all be wrong, but sadly I am a twitter failure, it has destroyed me. It looked at my skills as a writer and said

      YOU ARE ********* ********

      So that's it, I must vanish into obscurity and the wilderness of nowhere, the deep dark voids of bitter failure, my days as a writer , the hope the dreams the ambition have been destroyed by a tweet. I am left alone with nothing but a dream turned to dust as I watch the very nice Stephen Spielberg sail off into the distance laughing at my pain....

      No you are right I cant let this beat me I will once again rise from the ashes like a duck or was it a seagull. . . . I am stronger than twitter it after all has a silly name and no one listens to anyone, it is the domain of fools and a place where folk want instant fame, not prepared to learn their craft and toil unrewarded for years, not like here in the world of blogs. . .

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  2. I won a t-shirt because of twitter. I also got sent a free cd by that nice Boothby Graffoe. Beyond that it's just like reading a million other peoples text messages all at once.( i don't know how those GCHQ boys do it)
    It can become very overwhelming although a little bit of culling every now and again can ease the pressure of having to deal with idiots and loonies. By culling, i mean stop following, not actually going out there and... y'know.... anyway - totally lost my train of thought now.... nuts.

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    1. AH DAMN Mr H I wish you had told me a little earlier what you meant by culling . . . . . . .

      Would anyone like to buy some seal pups . . . . . . . . AH DAMN that may not be the best joke for a child friendly blog. . . . Only kidding about that . . . . . Although World War three is still an option . . .YICKS

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  3. I can't get the hang of twitter, I probably tweet about once a month.

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    1. Well I am much happier here at the blog or on Google+ or even on FB. Twitter to me is soulless but I guess it has its uses and is very popular

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  4. I have been semi-randomly reading wikipedia mainly based on whatever music is playing on my teleBision cable music channel '70s (1970s) and also a few things Crimean in nature. Then the song Cry Me A River title popped into my head which I transformed into Crimea River. So I went to find a river in Crimea, but it has about 4 or 5 speLLings, Chorna, basicaLLy means Black River. The Russian word for black is chernyy (roughly). I think if there are mainly people of Russian descent in Crimea then it should be part of Russia, but I am not an eXpert on the conflict details.

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    1. I am sure you are right about the people in Crimea. I think the worry is President Putin may be in a game of brinkmanship with the West. He has always wanted to put Russia centre stage in world politics. But if we all start pointing pointy sticks at one another and shouting it will all end in tears. . . . . . . . . I wonder why it is so hard for folk to be nice to one another.....

      I guess the Black river runs into the Black Sea..... it may all be charred rather than black soon.

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    2. Chorna kinda sounds like Charred.

      I am thinking that Obama shouldn't be doing much of anything. I just realized that Putin has vowels in even positions and Obama has them in odd. Just doing a quick check it appears that Putin has numerical superiority over Obama when summing the place values of the letters of their names.

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    3. If President Putin reads this we might get the blame if things sort of go BANG. Maybe if President Obama changed his name to Putin also it would confuse everyone so much that it will all calm down.

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    4. "Mr. Putin, I have Mr. Putin on line number two."

      The Mr. Putin of Russia seems to be popular with his voters.

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    5. I could see a world where everyone changes their name to Putin. We just mail out a secretly legal name change form to everyone where the hypnotic instructions say, "Put in your name here:" and the hypnotized reader will put in Putin. Hahahahahaha .... then Putin wiLL win the Nobel Peace Prize and that means everyone wiLL split the prize money, every year. I noticed that his name was spelled with a у́ which I didn't remember seeing before, I had only remembered a y.

      Пу́тин

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    6. I meant that the speLLing was from wikipedia.

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    7. Thanks Mr ESB Putin, I will Put in a good word for you with Mr Putin. . . .

      I think a peace prize with No Bells attached is a good idea

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  5. I was pretty sure twitter was awesome until I got on it. Then I decided I hated it. I'm pretty sure I the same thing can be said about the Crimea.

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    1. I suspect you may be right about Crimea it has never featured high in holiday programs on the TV as far as I know. I also thought twitter would be a little more interesting than it is. . . . . . I got to the point on twitter where I became a dog and said woof a lot..... But the dog got more followers than me, HO HUM...

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