Saturday, 11 January 2014

The Forth Wise Man and other things

I had a thought earlier today about writing a tale based on the baby Jesus and the four kings or wise men or the like, but then I went off to do things for a charity shop which I appear to have volunteered to help in. I am not sure how that happened, apparently I have filled the forms in and the like but I don’t remember doing that, and with it being voluntary I don’t get paid or dinner or tea breaks and am chained to a huge pile of stuff that I have to sort out before I am allowed home.  It is run by Mrs E the former Miss Issy who is now my new boss while I am there and I am not allowed to play with stuff or make Zombies out of old clothes and electrical equipment or use the till or talk to customers or loads of other stuff.

Anyway as you might imagine working in a charity shop helping the poor and needy and the like is not an easy subject to sneak the baby Jesus into along with the four wise men or kings or shipyards (sorry Sheppard’s) or the like into so I am forced to head off on a slight tangent  . . . . . . . yes I know I really should stick to the point and keep my diary clear and concise, but I think I am allowed the occasional meander such as today.

And for reasons I cant remember all this started with bones and as we all know one of the gifts that the baby Jesus was given was a small dinosaur carved out of a bone given by the forth Wise man after the other three had given Gold Frankincense and Myrrh.  Of course it was not received as well as the Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh on the grounds it was worthless and no one knew what a dinosaur was anyway. It was then the forth wise man explained that Dinosaurs were the product of natural selection and that a very clever man called Charles Darwin was going to write a book about it. And did the baby Jesus know that the world was round and that the Earth goes round the sun and time and space are bent and not to go near black holes in space because they are well strange. . . . .  This confused the other three wise men who thought hang on surely the world is flat and so they thought, we will ask the baby Jesus he will know as he is the son of God and if anyone knows stuff like this it is God. So they looked at the baby Jesus for a sign, but by then he had chewed the head off the dinosaur which was as good enough for them; so they said the forth wise man was mad and decided it was best not to say a thing, after all the only way man was ever going to make it into space to prove things one way or the other was through constant war, deforestation and the excessive misuse of the worlds limited resources. . . . And that was not going to happen now as the baby Jesus had turned up to sort all this stuff out….

So it was that the forth wise man wandered out into the forests and made effigies of Micro Gods and all sorts of strange things out of bones and did magic conjuring up the spirits of the past, and so it was, that the man ( the wise man) discovered the world of the Micro God . . . 


  1. Wait, are you the fourth wise man? Did you build the fourth wall? Are you the guy in Star Wars who discovered The Fourth? May the fourth be with you.

    1. I have travelled over the Forth Bridge many times so I am that man, I am Number Four, I am a number. . . . . . Hang on I see the making of a cult TV show in this; now where can I get some large balloon type critters to bounce about on the Welsh coast.

  2. I remember there was/is a programming language named Forth, so an eXpert at this language could be knowned as a Forth Wiseman. I use the word mrrrrrrrrr as a verbal greeting with two people, but I did not invent it, one of the other two did. Yes, you could write a book about baby Jesus but there are probably 41 books that have been written over the years a bout Tim.

    I am currently watching the series White Collar, almost finished with season one. It is on Netflix. I am eXpected to do many things today which I truly believe is astronomicaLLy impossible, and I haven't even made it out of bed yet (at 9:30). Because my wife was sick I was sleeping alone and it was too cold, so I didn't sleep veRy weLL. Plus the electric blanket selected to be nonfunctional and the non electric dog Cooper stayed on the floor by her. I researched polar sleeping bags but they cost several hundreds of dollars. They also don't look bear-proof.

    1. You could sleep with the Bear they are warm and cosy . . . . . OK not cosy unless you are a bear ...... and if you are cold you are unlikely to be bear.

      I hope Mrs ESB is well again soon . . .

      And I will not write an entire book on The Baby Jesus or The Tiny Tim, history has shown it only leads to conflict. I will stick with a diary of me, something I have more knowledge of and also has the advantage of less conflict among my followers . . . I hope