Tuesday 7 January 2014

Rain, Stargazing Live, Professor Brian Cox and the Toad People of Todimimiun 3

It has been wet blustery and grey again today and as the ground is now completely saturated it is gently snaking off down hill in pursuit of the sea. This has now gone on for a while, in fact it is a period of time that one could almost call unnatural which means that something unnatural must be happening and therefore there is one very simple explanation. So I feel I need to tell you all what is happening, you see Britain is being prepared for invasion by the Toad People from the Planet Todimimiun 3 who have their spacecraft hidden behind the moon even as I type…..   O yes that explains that rather strange large moon last night, they are just making sure that none of us Brits notice.



And it is no good thinking its OK the rest of the world will come to our rescue because, for one reason and another us Brits are not entirely the most popular nation in the world. Well lets face it some of the folk in positions of power have in the past not been entirely nice to other nations to put it mildly, what with delusions of empire and being better than everyone else.  So it is very likely that the rest of the world may see the sacrifice of Britain as a small price to pay in order to avoid all out war with the alien Toad people from  Todimimiun 3, well folk don’t like touching a small cute toad, yet alone a ten foot tall toad called Brian….

AH yes this brings us to an interesting point told to me by Mr Jones the Alien hunter, it appears all the Toad People are called Brian a name picked to lull us Brits into a false sense of security. No one is going to believe that something called Brian is going to harm them even if it is ten feet tall and has just swallowed their cat.  And this brings us to yet another point, you see on the television tonight is the start of the BBC stargazing live programme where they will go out of their way to insist that there is no such thing as the Toad People from the Planet Todimimiun 3.  And who is the person who will dismiss this theory as ludicrous madness, but none other than Professor BRIAN Cox . . . . . . . Yes note the name I think this says it all, the Professor is in cahoots with the Toad People or worse than that . . . . .  is one of the toad people.

Just look at the drawing of these Aliens which Mr Jones was able to do while out in the woods, that chirpy smile the enthusiastic sparkly eyes, the trendy shoes and the antennae, who does this remind us of . . . . . . Well none other than the Professor  . . .  Professor Brian Cox . . . . . . . . . . I rest my case and suggest we all take to the hills.


You may laugh and say I’m mad, but you just wait till you see a large toad in your bath you wont laugh then………………..  

7 comments:

  1. I always knew Brian Cox was a toad sympathiser. Didn't he do that song, "things can only get better"? That sounds like propaganda for an invasion to me.

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    1. I guess that the things referred to in the song are indeed toads. . . This does rather put a different perspective on the song entirely and means it may not have been the best choice of campaign song for the labour party in the past.

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  2. Well it certainly explains all the rain we're having. I've never trusted people called Brian. There's just something about the name...

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    1. I dont known many Brians, the one in the magic roundabout was a bit grumpy. And then of course there was the film . . . The Life of Brian..... Where he was confused for a large alien Toad Person from a remote planet. . . . . .

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  3. I used to know a guy called Brian. He was really ignorant. Never answered me when I saw him in the street. I'd call his name and he would just blank me! It was years later i found out he went around calling himself Jeff. Typical Brian type behaviour that is.... Of course ~ that didn't actually happen ~ but if it did you would know that a ~~Brian~~ would be involved somewhere~!~

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    1. I knew a Brian who was accidentaLLy given a present with his name speLLed Brain but of course Brian didn't notice because he was only a month old and his brain did not recognize the mistake even though everyone else in the room did. True story. Now Brian has an amazing brain able to understand quite difficult mental mathematical and mechanical mazes and make much money doing so.

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    2. Hello Both . . . . . Although your story is entirely untrue Mr H I believe every word, this is the faith I have in fellow members of RATs. I have to say I cant think of political Brian's or say Brian the Hun or 008 Brian Bond secret agent.

      You make a good point Mr ESB Brian and Brain are rather the same and what with folk like Professor Brian Cox and of course Brian May from the band Queen who is also a techy with an interest in space, I still wonder if it is a code name for a race of super intelligent beings from outer space, but confused by humans naming babies after some of these people (or aliens disguised as people). You see these super intelligent aliens are far more clever than we realize.

      All we can do is KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES..... or Stargazing Live as the BBC like to call it.....

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