Tuesday, 7 January 2014
Rain, Stargazing Live, Professor Brian Cox and the Toad People of Todimimiun 3
It has been wet blustery and grey again today and as the ground is now completely saturated it is gently snaking off down hill in pursuit of the sea. This has now gone on for a while, in fact it is a period of time that one could almost call unnatural which means that something unnatural must be happening and therefore there is one very simple explanation. So I feel I need to tell you all what is happening, you see
is being prepared for invasion by the Toad People from the Planet Todimimiun 3
who have their spacecraft hidden behind the moon even as I type….. O yes that explains that rather strange
large moon last night, they are just making sure that none of us Brits notice. Britain
And it is no good thinking its OK the rest of the world will come to our rescue because, for one reason and another us Brits are not entirely the most popular nation in the world. Well lets face it some of the folk in positions of power have in the past not been entirely nice to other nations to put it mildly, what with delusions of empire and being better than everyone else. So it is very likely that the rest of the world may see the sacrifice of Britain as a small price to pay in order to avoid all out war with the alien Toad people from Todimimiun 3, well folk don’t like touching a small cute toad, yet alone a ten foot tall toad called Brian….
AH yes this brings us to an interesting point told to me by Mr Jones the Alien hunter, it appears all the Toad People are called Brian a name picked to lull us Brits into a false sense of security. No one is going to believe that something called Brian is going to harm them even if it is ten feet tall and has just swallowed their cat. And this brings us to yet another point, you see on the television tonight is the start of the BBC stargazing live programme where they will go out of their way to insist that there is no such thing as the Toad People from the Planet Todimimiun 3. And who is the person who will dismiss this theory as ludicrous madness, but none other than Professor BRIAN Cox . . . . . . . Yes note the name I think this says it all, the Professor is in cahoots with the Toad People or worse than that . . . . . is one of the toad people.
Just look at the drawing of these Aliens which Mr Jones was able to do while out in the woods, that chirpy smile the enthusiastic sparkly eyes, the trendy shoes and the antennae, who does this remind us of . . . . . . Well none other than the Professor . . . Professor Brian Cox . . . . . . . . . . I rest my case and suggest we all take to the hills.
You may laugh and say I’m mad, but you just wait till you see a large toad in your bath you wont laugh then………………..