Sunday 17 November 2013

The worlds most pointless invention and dogs

I was not planning to write anything tonight after all I did say that I was not going to write things everyday and  today would have been a good day to start as all I did was move some wood I got back in the spring to a dryer place and sweep leaves. Although strangely sweeping leaves is a dying art since someone invented the leaf blower which is almost the most pointless invention in the world; using loads of energy to blow leaves from point A to point B so that the wind or your neighbour will blow the leaves back to point A, your neighbour of course using his leaf blower to do this. Using a yard brush sweeping the leafs into a pile and then putting them on the compost pile is for more eco, OK less fun and much harder work  . . . . . . . Hang on I want a leaf blower.



Talk of leaves is not why I am here however, I am here because of dogs who as it happens like to run about in leaves and chew leaf blowers and yard brushes. You see I was eating food watching a bit of TV as the dining table is covered in faulty cardboard birds at present and they happen to say that a huge number of folk do not have any savings (hardly news). They then went on to say ideally everyone should have enough money saved to live for six months  AH HAH HAH h ha hah ah ha haha ha ha ha ha ha yes we wish. They then went on to say folk could make some extra cash having car boot sales, making cakes, or dog walking which will pay about fifteen pounds an hour . . . . . . . . . . . WHAT FIFTEEN POUNDS AN HOUR, I think they must be the wrong side of the Watford Gap somewhere down South in London as up in these parts you can buy a whole pack of dogs for fifteen pounds. I told the Ghost Writer who is the IT Guru for a local charity and he was dead upset he gets less than that per hour for IT and said people must be barking mad and it is a bit Ruff for those of us in the real world.


Just to add to the annoyance I was feeling about this it appears the head of a large bank was filmed buying or using some rather serious illegal drugs, but its OK because he has apologised.  Quite frankly he should be sacked and told to take up dog walking as the fresh air will do him good, but I suspect it will all end in a golden handshake and a  pension…….. GGGggggrrrrrrrrrrrr…….



Woof

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20 comments:

  1. Hey Rob,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar has just finished raking the leaves. Leaf it to her, clever dog.

    Anyhow, she wants to human walk. She will take you for a walk for only one deluxe doggy biscuit. Lucky you, I say. Think of the extra attention you will get having a diva dog walking you :)

    Frank Zappa was watching where the huskies go and don't you eat no yellow snow....

    Bank dude buying illegal drugs? Hard to believe....

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    1. Penny is very kind, but I am hiding inside until the sun arrives in the spring.

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  2. I wouldn't mind walking some dogs for £15 an hour. In fact, there are very few animals that I wouldn't walk for that kind of cash. Snail walking might be a bit of a chore though.

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    1. Snail racing is rather popular though in some parts of Britain. Although I dont think there is much difference in their speed between walking and racing.

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    2. I remember hearing that snails are slowing down (if that's even possible) and races take longer because snails are now lethargic or want more sponsorship money or something.

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    3. Snails slowing down sounds like something is fundamentally wrong in the world... I am worried about this now maybe time is grinding to a halt in some way man has not yet realized. Although the snails have as they are more in tune with the concept of time than man due to the time it takes to get to dinner.

      You have not been betting on snails by any chance Mr H I can see that may reduce their speed a little.

      Maybe its the End of the World in slow motion (although not if you are a snail as it will appear rather quick)

      Run take to the hills AAAAuuuuuuuggggghhHHHHHHHH.

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    4. I KNEW I'D READ IT SOMEWHERE!!!!

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8043000/8043689.stm

      science! hhaha

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    5. Thanks Mr H I am now going to attempt to live using less energy. The first thing will be missing tonight's diary entry. It is late and its been a busy day.

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  3. Wow, I might start dog walking then. It's more than I earn at work, anyway.

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    1. I know Miss Laura, I think it says something about the type of person who gives financial advice on the BBC. They don't mix with ordinary folk.

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  4. I used a leaf blower last year on the big tree outside my kitchen window.
    It's ridiculous how many leaves ore on one tree. It's a wonder they don't fall over under the weight! I've filled SIX bin bags so far and there's still loads left.

    The leaf blower went in the bin around this time last year as it BLEW up and caught on fire.

    Rakes don't tend to set on fire and it's much easier to spell out words and make shapes like that Neil Buchanan used to do on Art Attack.

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    1. I have never heard of leaf blowers catching fire but if you will use them to spray ignited petrol at the leafs in a sort of improvised flame thrower sort of way then I guess this will happen. I really need to get a flame thrower (sorry leaf blower now) and experiment a bit, but purely in the interest of science of course.

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    2. It was a petrol powered one so I could wander around the site without needing to plug it in to the mains. It was very powerful but got very hot and the plastic started to melt until it started to flame a little bit. Won't be buying one of those again unless it gets REALLY cold out there! haahah

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    3. It does sound rather exciting as leaf blowers go.

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  5. Over here the jail for dogs is called a dog pound. I have been to the pound one time to get my dog. She wound up several blocks from home and couldn't find her way back on Halloween about ten years ago. She was an old dog and they called me the next day and didn't even charge me anything. Her name was Madeline and she lived to be about fourteen years old before dying peacefully in her sleep in my children's bedroom. She had just got groomed the day or so before and the groomer told us she was okay and didn't need to go to the vet.

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    1. I was walking my son's dog yesterday but no one paid me anything. She is a tiny thing compared to Cooper and my wife keeps calling her a him and suddenly called Cooper a her and we aLL laughed at her misuse of pronouns.

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    2. Our dog Jenny a rescue Border Collie lived until she was seventeen and died at home. It was a Sunday night when she died and the plan was to take her to the vets on the Monday after she suddenly got very weak Saturday night.

      I used to get the kids and the dog mixed up, although the dog never minded unlike the kids. (Ooooo hang on I really should not say this it will ruin the whole image of Rob).

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  6. Tonight which is now the following night to the one the post was written on is now my first night of no diary entry. Yes Ok there is this little sub post sneaked in here. I have been busy with this and that, life and other stuff much like everyone else and am very tired now so plan to wander off to bed and sleep. But fear not I will be back more than I am away as I still need to get to my next blogging goal of one million words.

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    1. Soon you may be chiselinKg words on trees and stones. One of the things I thought of when I read your title is that any invention that is veRy spherical should be "point"-less ... but then I remembered the ball POINT pen and the ball peen hammer. I think some of my embroidery needles are said to have a ball tip, so maybe the world is flat in two and a half ways.

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    2. I think it may be a matter of scale if you look at a point close enough it will turn into a ball (or poke you in the eye). Although I am not sure what happens once you get to sub-atomic levels of investigation.

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