Thursday, 24 October 2013
Trusty Old Converse Trainers unwittingly saving Aliens and other stuff
I had my trusty old converse trainers on today in order to ensure safe passage through the day. However the headmaster reckoned as today was the last dry day for a while and I was wearing what he called a manky pair of old trainers I could cut the school playing fields. Well that was not fair I tried to explain that for a tiny period of time my old converse trainers were famous on the internet, well for about a week they were, but it was like water off a ducks back . . . . I am not sure about that old saying I spent ages chasing a duck once to get the water off its back and as far as I could tell it looked just like water.
Cutting the grass was hard work for both me and my footwear but it did come with its own rewards because while I was cutting the grass I saw a small but noisy aeroplane, well it sounded like a small plane but it was invisible and it circled overhead then headed off in a northerly direction. I then saw two invisible Red Kites (the birds not the fabric device used by Professor Frankincense). When I say I saw these things I looked at where the noise came from but did not see them as they were invisible.
However after lunch where I had told Esmeralda, Freddie and his ferrets and the school Mascot (the goat) about the invisible things I took them off to show them to prove they were there and real, and I was surprised to find a crop circle or a grass circle. This means that the invisible small plane was in fact an alien spacecraft, probably one of the Venusian Battle cruises mentioned yesterday and it was having engine problems. And the Red Kites were in fact aliens from Venus (the planet not the tennis player) and they were saying thanks for sorting out a decent landing pad with nice short grass.
We have been out to see Mr M again to make sure he is OK I was able to show that if you slide a walking stick up the side of someone's leg while they are wearing trousers and are a bit poorly, they are completely incapable of moving. Mr M is not eating all his food so I also balanced five oranges on the end of his walking stick; that was before I trapped him in bed with the leg trick. AH . . . . . . DAMN I have a feeling I may have forgotten to remove the walking stick from the side of his leg before we left. I guess the nurses might notice.