Monday 21 October 2013

Television, Zombies and Sir Walter Raleighs Duck Pond.

As you know if you read last nights diary entry we went to see Mr M in his new hospital where he is much happier, and as I also said I got to play with the controls of his bed. It is amazing what shape you can turn a patient into with these beds and now I know how magicians do that trick sawing the lady in half, I did practice a few times at school for the school talent show but they banned me from using any more 1st years.  Well it appears you don’t actually saw anyone in half after all.



Anyway this is all by the by (another saying that means if you are near something you are also by it . . . .Yes I agree silly) the point I was coming too concerns Zombies because I am concerned. What I noticed as I tried to make a figure eight with Mr M is that everyone else in his little ward were watching a television, even the visitors of the other patients and they sat there the entire time not moving or talking or even blinking and then a thought came into my head. Yes thoughts do that they seldom arrive anywhere else I have never had a thought in my foot or hand or at least I don’t think I have.

Hang on where was I  . . . . . AH yes, you see everyone looked like Zombies and then I realized that there must be Zombie scientists out there and they designed a machine so cunning in its ways that we have taken to it like a duck to Walter, Yes its one of those silly saying again, I have no idea who Walter is unless it is that Walter Raleigh the inventor of the bicycle who spent a lot of time floating about on his duck pond looking for potatoes.

Sorry distracted again; you see this cunning machine of the Zombies has taken over the world and is slowly turning skilled intelligent humans into Zombies, deskilling us so that when they finally attack, folk will be powerless to save themselves. Folk will just say things like ooooo look  its whats-his name from thingy on that programme on the tele, he looks just like a Zombie, only he will be a Zombie.

Yes I think you realize that I am talking of the television and I suggest that you all run off and turn them off NOW before it is too late, you can spend your evening doing things like sharpening pointy sticks, making model mice out of cheese to confuse the cat or even reading the incredibly brilliant Slightly Eccentric Diary of a certain person who will remain nameless (me) . . . .

Oooooo yes what did I do today  . . . . . . . . . . Ooooooo dear best not to tell. How come there is always a screw left over when you put things back together. 

9 comments:

  1. I think LIVE TV is to blame for a lot of brainless-ness these days (probably has been at fault for a good number of years) and I very rarely watch anything live. Its all these adverts for shampoo and tea bags. messing around with facts and figures. It makes peoples head hurt, thus causing the Zombie virus to take over.
    That's why those clever sciencey bods came up with the fast forward button.
    Radio on the other hand is a much better medium. although the colour on mine is a tad too bright.

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    1. Sorry Mr H I have just realized I missed off the last part of the post. I don't think it really changes it much, as you realized what I was getting at, but it could make all the difference to the nice Mr Steven Spielberg. I plan to tell him of your skills at voice overs too

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  2. A zombie would make a great talk show host. Imagine if Jeremy Kyle tried to eat the brains of his guests.

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    1. NO NO Mr Addman this is just the sort of thing those Zombies want us to do. You must resist at all costs watching Jeremy Kyle (who?)

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  3. I was flipping through channels yesterday and came across the movie about Graeme Obree. I had never of him before.

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    1. I noticed toward the end you used the word "nameless" followed by a (me), and then I noticed me in nameless, and by me I mean you. So I think that means nameless and nayouless are equivalent, and by "I" I mean me.

      It is time for coffee and buffalo faux pho (soup). I have most of the cooking process completed yesterday and the previous evening, so now it is time to add noodles.

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    2. I had not heard of Graeme Obree until I looked him up and noticed he was nicknamed The Flying Scotsman, I assume after the famous train of the same name.

      I was once a passenger on The Flying Scotsman when I was little and it was still in service. And then a few years later got to stand in the drivers bit at Kings Cross when it did one of its occasional runs on the main line. It was a very cool looking train.....

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    3. I think that runner Eric Liddle was also called The Flying Scotsman in the movie Chariots of Fire. Then I looked it up in wikipedia and it said he was The Flying Scotsman Who Coundn't Fly, but in reality he was born in China to Scottish missionaries. So he was reaLLy The Running Chinese Man Who Looks And Sounds Scottish. I was thinking that I had never been on a train before but then I remembered a computer science training trip to Connecticut in 1994-1995 where Fred and I took the train to New York City and back. I saw Cats, the musical. When I called about tickets I thought the lady said 4 to 5 dollars, but when I got to the ticket window I discovered Cats cost 45 dollars. Meow. There is a difference between Texas English and Northeast English.

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    4. 4 or 5 to 45 is a big difference it is a shame that it was not the other way round......

      And I guess if you are fast and have any link to Scotland then you become The Flying Scotsman, I may be The Dishevelled Scotsman although there are a lot of them too.

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