Tuesday, 10 September 2013
The Slightly Eccentric Diary of Rob Z Tobor . . . . .VOLUME FOUR . . . . And Pointy Sticks
My desk lamp has just exploded so I am typing in the gloom, and as many of you know, although to be fair kindly don’t say anything about it, my typing is rubbish…. So typing in the dark is going to be tough…
I have slightly more time today so today is the first day of The Slightly Eccentric Diary of Rob Z Tobor . . . . .VOLUME FOUR . . . . . . A bit late, but yes it has officially started today.
Now of course I normally start my diary with my return to school, but I have been back a week now and much has happened. You see I’m no fool I am doing what that Harry Potter did make sure something happens at school, otherwise the nice Mr Spielberg will fall asleep and then that will be the end of the movie deal…… OK right yes . . . . Esmeralda has become Head Girl after persuading the governors with a pointy stick that it was an excellent idea, as no one is going to argue with her. For some reason Esmeralda with a pointy stick seems to be far scarier than I am, in fact she is far scarier even without the pointy stick.
In order to avoid the mistake of last year where I was made head boy my name was removed entirely from the list of pupils this year, however it was accidently added to the list of teachers, so this year I am a budding student teacher specializing in Obscure Irrational Theories about the Universe (OIT as it is known) and Zombie Self Defence classes. I say Zombie Self Defence classes this does not mean I am teaching Zombies despite what the headmaster says, but I am teaching pupils to defend themselves against such beasts. As it happens I have a diploma in Zombiology after writing my thesis. . . . The Urban Zombie in the Modern Superstore. The Head Master who everyone thought would shout about my part time teaching post was in fact quite pleased but only because I do not get paid because I am still technically a pupil . . . . . . DAMN.
Anyway I have managed to get the pointy stick officially added to the official school uniform now, well I say I, as it happens Esmeralda persuaded the governors after a short meeting where she demonstrated the pointy sticks qualities……
Ooooooo yes I bought some magic beans today, waved at a refrigerator and gave the Ghost Writer and Mrs Ghost Writer directions on the best and quickest way to get around a large building with many corridors with many people in them who are mainly lost, they apparently are still using my early map with the small errors. It appears that the Ghost Writer said I’m an IDIOT after they arrived in the boiler room late this afternoon. . . . .
Anyway welcome to Volume Four (The Return of the Pointy Stick).