Tuesday 10 September 2013

The Slightly Eccentric Diary of Rob Z Tobor . . . . .VOLUME FOUR . . . . And Pointy Sticks

My desk lamp has just exploded so I am typing in the gloom, and as many of you know, although to be fair kindly don’t say anything about it, my typing is rubbish…. So typing in the dark is going to be tough…

I have slightly more time today so today is the first day of The Slightly Eccentric Diary of Rob Z Tobor   . . . . .VOLUME FOUR . . . . . . A bit late, but yes it has officially started today.

Now of course I normally start my diary with my return to school, but I have been back a week now and much has happened. You see I’m no fool I am doing what that Harry Potter did make sure something happens at school, otherwise the nice Mr Spielberg will fall asleep and then that will be the end of the movie deal…… OK right yes . . . .  Esmeralda has become Head Girl after persuading the governors with a pointy stick that it was an excellent idea, as no one is going to argue with her.  For some reason Esmeralda with a pointy stick seems to be far scarier than I am, in fact she is far scarier even without the pointy stick.



In order to avoid the mistake of last year where I was made head boy my name was removed entirely from the list of pupils this year, however it was accidently added to the list of teachers, so this year I am a budding student teacher specializing in Obscure Irrational Theories about the Universe (OIT as it is known) and Zombie Self Defence classes. I say Zombie Self Defence classes this does not mean I am teaching Zombies despite what the headmaster says, but I am teaching pupils to defend themselves against such beasts. As it happens I have a diploma in Zombiology after writing my thesis. . . . The Urban Zombie in the Modern Superstore.  The Head Master who everyone thought would shout about my part time teaching post was in fact quite pleased but only because I do not get paid because I am still technically a pupil . . . . . . DAMN.



Anyway I have managed to get the pointy stick officially added to the official school uniform now,  well I say I, as it happens Esmeralda persuaded the governors after a short meeting where she demonstrated the pointy sticks qualities……

Ooooooo  yes I bought some magic beans today, waved at a refrigerator and gave the Ghost Writer and Mrs Ghost Writer directions on the best and quickest way to get around a large building with many corridors with many people in them who are mainly lost, they apparently are still using my early map with the small errors. It appears that the Ghost Writer said I’m an IDIOT after they arrived in the boiler room late this afternoon. . . . .  


Anyway welcome to Volume Four (The Return of the Pointy Stick).

6 comments:

  1. Woo hoo! Here's to another year of glorious diary entries! Being a teacher this year is an exciting development, and I'd like to know more about this fridge that you waved at. What model was it? What food was inside it? Did it feel good after your interaction?

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    1. The Fridge was sort of passing through and spent a night on our patio before it continued its journey to Shrewsbury where it will be working chilling food for a living. I did not really notice the make and model, but it was not a posh classy fridge just a simple hard working fridge from a humble background. It did not have food in it as it was on a journey, and they say a fridge travels better on an empty shelf.

      And we sort of bonded but after I waved all it said was . . .

      As one door closes another light goes out . . . . . Fridges are very profound at times.

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    2. That is beautiful. You should take your fridge-centric philosophy on the road. May I recommend the A39, cracking bit of road that.

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    3. I fear I would get a frosty reception so I will remain nine tenths below the surface. . .

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  2. I'm really annoyed, I never got to do Zombie self defence classes when I was in school! How unfair, kids these days don't realise their luck. I do have a pointy stick though, so I guess I'm halfway there.

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    1. I am glad you have a pointy stick Miss Laura, one day when you are a famous writer you will look at your pointy stick and think of me. Well either that or you will think kindling that's useful..... it may depend on how many encounters you have with Zombies, and whether you need to light a fire to keep warm.

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