Thursday 8 August 2013

Tales for the Hunting Lodge and the Wild Beasts

Life bearing in mind this is the summer holiday seems to be very busy, and not good busy chasing the invisible Ibis through the undergrowth with a spear, that’s me with the spear not the undergrowth. Or climbing the North face of the DIY store again and planting the Union Jack and claiming it for Britain or even making an attempt on the main facade of Mount IKEA; which has still not been climbed without the use of modern high tech equipment such as scaffolding and ladders.



But as I was saying it is busy, what with major work on Zombie defences with Mr Chris the builder who all being well will be back tomorrow to finish off; and helping the Ghost Writer with his task of emptying his office, which I ended up doing again today . . . . . . PHEW. And then I was asked to go and forage for food in the garden with nothing but a small knife and my wits to track down large game such as wielder beast and crocodiles, or golden eagle. Anyway it appears the wildlife must have got scared off by a stranger sitting in a small box not saying much, because pickings were slim and I was forced as a last resort to hunt vegetables.  The Ghost Writer rightly says If it cant move don’t eat it and he has a fair point. Sadly however my booty for the day was a vegetarian’s delight, something a hunter of wild ferocious beasts would never tell anyone for fear of ridicule back in the hunting lodge (summerhouse) so I won’t write about that . . . . . . . AH DAMN . . . .  A reputation ruined

10 comments:

  1. Have you ever thought about a possible link between Zombies and the country of Zimbabwe, probably translates as "zombies are we"? Or better yet, Zambia? Even more so Mozambique, it practicaLLy moans out "more zombies are okay". Down right scary! I have suddenly dropped my vacation plans to Africa.

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    1. Mozambique or Mozomb-beak implying some sort of zombie with a beak.

      It may explain some of your concerns about your presidents costly trip to Africa. Zombies take a lot of man power and technology to keep them at bay....

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    2. Beaks? So if we are talking birds I wonder if zombied birds would fly ... Perhaps they would only wander in a penguin style gait, only more penguin like than normal. I wonder what the bird word is for "brains".

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    3. I wrote an episode where Obama was an evil space alien who came to earth to hunt me down. I have not published it yet. It is the follow up episode to where I put all that water, Tang and moonshine at the southern pole of the moon to fool NASA on my summer vacation.

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    4. It might sound like a stupid Question Mr ESB and you might be just the man to answer this . . . . . But does a ordinary magnetic compass work on the moon.

      Surely as it does not have an active magnetic core the compass would not really point anywhere which would mean it does not have poles, well not a south or north pole.

      However I know nothing so I maybe entirely wrong about the moon and many other things.

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    5. An ordinary magnetic compass doesn't work on the moon because there isn't a magnetic field generated by a core like the earth.

      There are probably a lot of ways maintaining your orientation on the moon by figuring out a celestial body navigation guide as the moon maintains a certain orientation relative to the earth. They could build a satellite based GPS system for the moon like they have done for earth or possibly a ground based radio telemetry through a cellular phone type system. I would name it Ver-eyes-on. They could also mark off the moon with a road grid system with signs at the intersections giving directions to hikers.

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    6. Sorry I took so long to see your request. My blogger account is messed up in a certain way that prevents me from getting blog reply notifications, so I just have to watch activity on my friends blogs manually. The original email account tied to my account is no longer valid but Google hasn't provided a way that I can tell to fix it. You can add more e-mail accounts but they don't work for the reply notification. Strange.

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  2. I caught the liveliest stem of broccoli you guys have ever seen! I swear it was this big
    <------------------------------------------------------>

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    1. But did you eat it, I am not a fan of broccoli and so I would have let it go to wander the hills and howl at the trees.

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  3. It would make sense for ibis to be translucent, as ibis is almost half of invisible.

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