Thursday 22 August 2013

Grannies Soft Furnishings, Zombies and keyholes

I learnt something very interesting about Zombies today, no I don’t want to here you are groaning about more Zombies unless you are a Zombie, in which case you cant help groaning a bit. You see I was speaking to Mr Jones and he knows about Zombies from his nights spent looking for aliens at night in the woods, and he often runs into the odd Zombie and has long ago mastered the art of escape.  So he told me today that Zombies hate comfy soft furnishings and in particular have an aversion to Grannies almost indestructible old carpet, So although it may sound a bit odd I was carpeting one of the smaller holes in the Zombie defence system in order to keep them away. The one draw back appears to be that cats will sleep all over the Zombie defence system ruining its overall image and I am now preparing for an attack by tigers.



While on the subject of Granny have you ever noticed that if you peer through a keyhole in a door, most of the time you will see an eye staring at you from the other side and hear mad demented whispering and the scratching of claws at the door handle. I keep telling granny she should be less nosey.




Ooooo yes I also heard this strange unfamiliar sound a bit earlier while I was laying carpet in a small hole and stood there thinking what the hell is that it was very loud and sounded to me like a man with a flame thrower. What I did not do and what I should have done is look straight upwards as it was a hot air balloon full of Zombies who I think only floated off into the next field when they observed the distinct pattern of Grannies carpet looming at them from the ground. 


8 comments:

  1. You could put a mirror the other side of the keyhole and have people look in the keyhole. When and if they were frightened at someone looking back at them you can explain how the people had scared themselves. [I took a short nap right here] now I am finaLLy clicking Publish.

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    1. I noticed that your keyhole was in the shape of a pawn chess piece. So that might not have been a keyhole but a pawnhole. (My browser tried auto-incorrect the word pawnhole as 'law hole', which I didn't know eXisted)

      I have had a fun day wandering through the countryside taking photographs.

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    2. Interestingly when I looked at comments to see what was new your comment was slightly amended to:-

      I have had a fun day wandering through the countryside taking photographs on Grannies Soft Furnishings . . . . .

      which rather amused me

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  2. Granny is probably looking for her carpet, that's why she's peering through your keyholes.

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    1. It is a known fact that once you are a granny you get really curious and peer through both keyholes and chinks in curtains . . . . . I know I do.

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  3. That carpet looks suspiciously like one of those so-called FLYING CARPETS. I hope it has been deactivated.
    The last thing you want is a load of flying zombies in a hot air balloon AND a flying carpet make all your hard work digging trenches count for nothing!

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    1. With aerial zombie attacks eminent, it appears he made need a dome covering.

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    2. There is no no way that carpet will fly anywhere, but I do have a flying carpet which is a family airloom . . . HAH AHHAH HAH AH HAh ah ha ahah hha hah ahhah ah ah ah ah ah hahah hah ah ahhah ha ha ha

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